Balloon Buffoon

Of all my great ideas, this one is clearly the best
An adventure of pure endurance, I'm putting my body to the test
I've brought ten thousand balloons and I've got myself a spud gun
I'm going to fly around the world, not for charity, but for fun
I'll tie them to a deck-chair and float up high into the sky
I'll shoot the balloons with my spud gun, if I'm going a bit to high
I'll travel with the wind and soar over the highest peaks
I'm not quite sure how long it will take, I'm guessing a couple of weeks
All my family are supportive, they think its a cracking idea
They have organized a party, I'm expecting strippers and much beer.

Two Weeks Later

It's all gone tits up again, I really should be dead
No one told me I needed helium, I just blew them up instead
I pushed myself off a block of flats, with my balloons tied to my chair
I hit the ground pretty hard, but now I don't suppose you care
The nurses have been great, they even let me have a beer
I think I'm going to try this again, when I get out of hospital next year..