leelee101
Ladies and Gents, my notifications aren't updating/refreshing, so for any likes or reposts you may have been lovely enough to bestow on my stuff today, I'd just like to say thank you; I'm not being rude or ignoring you.
Just as you think it's nice and quiet Along comes the boy to start up a riot Every time they've not got the kids Their relationship seems to hit the skids He's home this morning for they've had a row Always when drinking. What is it now? Sh…
Yes, it's an #acorn, but it's also a little clue to what I have in mind for Mondays #acrostic... Here's a tale of Igor, Dr. Frankenstein's assistant And when he got things wrong, boy, was he consistent One day the doctor thought that he wo…
We should be living together Instead we seem to live apart It seems that we never Have matching feelings in our heart You say potato, I say to-may-to Yet we pretend they're both the same We live together, but hardly ever Breathe in the …
Stay with the old? Try something new If you were here Would we take a chance Wait for the rain Then go and dance If you were here Would we shun the rest Ignore what they say And hope for the best If you were here Would you let it go Would …
So you're leaving, now that the times are tough Can't handle it? Well that's fair enough I'll thank you for keeping me employed But that's all, for I'm a bit annoyed 'Cos I know who's going to take your place A Grimbloke with a weighed down…
Crouched - in a hole, lone; death bullets circle his home. Child, stranger to calm. Fear - a common foe, That visits with every shot. Trapped, nowhere to go. Panic - never far, Unease is all that greets him. Nothing left but scars. …
#steak&bjday Hey babe, it's steak & BJ day! Don't you think you oughta? I ended up with a portion of chips And Mr Wiggly on bread & water...
The moon lit up the cobbles on a starless pitch black night A million sleeping hedgehogs with not a single spine in sight Who knows what these rocky roads have seen over the years From 1880's London to Clovelly, Devonshire Hansom cabs are r…
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Sparked, and burning, a misty blue haze Accompanying moods as I drift through the days Lingering dreams cast a veil on my sight As I lean back and stare through my murky worlds light The ashtray's full and the coffees grown cold Eyes closed…
I sat alone for hours At the place you said to meet By the Sunday morning market An upturned crate my seat I sat and stared for hours As the workers made their way Oblivious to the chapter Being played out today I sat and thought of you f…
I visit the same newsagent I see my mate Sanjay We have a chat about this and that And then I'm on my way Next door there's a charity shop Outside there are some bags Filled with things good people bring Clothes otherwise used as rags Nor…
Ow! What the hell was that? Ooo the bastard's burnt me arse...
The sun can't have his hat back I've hidden it away Jealousy, my dear Natalie? Never liked him anyway... Hmph!
The sun ain't got his hat on! You must have seen things wrong Hey, Rich Withey and Natalie You've been out in it too long...
Oi, Lee! D'ya want dinner today? Yes please 'cos I am wasting away So let's go to my favourite place The carvery where you can fill yer face Every time I go, I end up pissed Real Abbots ale, a thing I can't resist Fill my plate with all you…
The dread writers block isn't something I suffer But it serves a purpose, it acts as a buffer For if your ideas are not quite so assured A chip off the block, and Hey Presto, you're cured! It seems to me that these writers block writes Ar…
Nobody knows me, not even me I'm the one running round shouting let me be free The truth is a different reality But I'll keep it inside, let nobody see I surprise myself with my state of play Patience of a saint depending on the day I say …
Alaska in the morning then Hawaii this afternoon Typical British bloody weather, wantonly changing tune Winter woollies when I entered, I shall leave wearing far less I think I'll keep my boots on for the ground's a slushy mess Maybe Mother…
Overdue, a chat with you; my behaviour you defile Make me pay in every way for our antics through the night Poured like rain straight down the drain; health, money getting tight Let me be an older me, I won't let you take me young Even thou…
Can you say you are complete? Or have you yet to find your feet Make believe that you're a whole Pretend you've filled your barren soul Life's a lesson learnt each day Empty hearts just blow away Tell me you're completions proof Even though…
Late for work this morning But I don't really care When I'm driving through Alaska Instead of what's normally there Snow devils swirling upwards Whipped by wind, land on my face Coming directly at me Like driving in hyperspace There alw…
I saw a sight that made me smile It was a bright red crocodile The strangest thing I'd ever seen I thought they were usually green Alright mate? No I ain't I've just been covered in red paint If you want some friendly advice Don't wash i…
E ventually of course, things will come to a head, unless you've no tongue, then it cannot be said T rust broken, the proof's when the truth comes to call so perhaps it is best not to keep them at all...
S o if activity's the key, can someone please tell me, when someone is prolific, how they drop? E ven though they write every day and through the night, it doesn't seem enough to reach the top C an you explain to me with some accuracy how s…
Dinner yesterday was at the in-laws place Mrs Lee proceeded to get off her face Her and our hostess are best friends alright But not too much for me for 'tis a school night It started off fine, a glass of champagne One glass turned to two…
Cutting, biting temperatures are what's in store today Rolling in and blowing out any chance of Spring 'til May Ever thought the weathermen know more than what's on their page? The secret they're not telling is there's gonna be a new ice ag…
Thought this appropriate, as Mothers Day should be for all mothers, including the mothers of the disappeared. She wriggles to the rhythm Softly moves her feet Swaying to a rumba And a bossanova beat A picture of her boy Clutched tightly t…
Oh no! The kitchen lightbulb's gone Darkness reigns where brightness shone How am I supposed to cook When I can't see the recipe book Ah, but us lads have a trick It's over to the Man Drawer™, quick! Here is where you'll find it all From b…
Negativity? Never Forever is easy Let us see why And take notes while we're at it Many couples don't try Eternal soulmates never die
Make everything perfect On this, her special day Treat her, give respect Help her know a loving way Every single moment Remember why you're here She's the one who made you Don't forget to see things clear And let these words ring true You'…
It's here that new life starts Never have I seen such a Greyed and gloomy sky Take the seasons as they come I'm sure it'll all blow by Maybe it's just a delay Extra snow's been forecast today...
The world won't soon forget this terrifying night Havoc shall be wreaked, and the wreaking shall be swift After gathering their essence, to the next one I shall drift Within this world of mortal souls, no-one shall be saved Into the ever …
Here's a little poem Took about a minute About a green and waxy fruit And the tiny torch within it
Women, you inspire me With the things that I can't see What you have on show And the bits you keep from me Inspire me with the places Where the sun don't usually shine And it is my intention To make inspiration mine So get 'em out! Let '…
It's International Womens Day (•)(•) What more to say... Wa-hey!
How do you know how my day'll go? Or is it just a guess? Relay to me how good it'll be Or will it remain a mess? Such crabbiness is normal, for Cancer is my sign Overworked and underpaid Please tell me my stars align EuroMillions will do ju…
I'll politely tip my hat To strangers that I meet But I only search for food The liquid that I need To purge the darkest lust To satisfy this greed As the watchman lights the wick My shade is cast for none The London night falls thick And …
In stories of old, you held my hand We were new and bold, with nothing planned I fell for you, through and through With a hunger for the things you do But not any more, it's cast aside Shatter my core, at least I tried Shame, then, it's co…
Working weeks come to its end There are rules and laws to bend Exercise your basic right You can come with me tonight If you want to Let the night replace the day There are games for us to play Ecstasy 'til the daylight You can be with me …
I've been searching for a creature That's near extinction, needs a save I've heard it hides from humans In the deepest, darkest cave I've scoured all of Opussia Found its fossilised remains The strangest looking thing Possessing none too …
Really? There's a God? (oh, come on, I know there's not) Even Lucifer himself wouldn't let schoolkids get shot Let it be a vengeful God a hook handed 'preacher' meets It's a shame that in religions name such hate fills up our streets God ga…
How do know what's real and what clearly isn't? How do you know each new day brings a truth How can you tell it isn't cloak and dagger, smoke and mirrors Physicality the one and only proof How can you tell that as the sun is rising It isn'…
The girl at the front of the queue Was a beauty, that's for sure All eyes behind upon her But sometimes less is something more Statuesque and power suited Seemed perfection had come to call A long tight skirt that must've hurt She could ba…
And she said, 'Bugger off hairy legs!'
'Get off!' she cried, 'For I just cannot stand What the hell that it is that you've done to your hand' Think yourself lucky I've not burst this blister That I got when I thought of your younger sister...
How did it taste? Ok, as it goes...
And comes out with a musical hum...
#4lines4fun There once was a writer called Dick Who never finished a limerick It would all go just fine Until he reached the 5th line
Sir Isaac Newton once said, 'Who the bloody hell threw that?' He also said, 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.' It's pretty quiet. The acrostic word is Melancholy. That must make for a Woeful Wednesday, and with a…
Having trouble with mine, and it reminded me of this. 4 extra lines! You lucky people... My printers mind is all its own I'm positive I'm not alone You're hooked up to my PC You should take commands from me The paper's straight, the ink i…
All I hear's your tuneless dirge Nature over nurture Can't even crack a smile Hole ridden soul wasn't my goal Obsidian heart beats still awhile Life's for the living, but it's lonely Yonder, happiness. …
The biggest football match, yes it's Man U/Madrid tonight Someone I know will be there. Will he drive or take a flight? Will he take the new Range Rover, or jet to Manchester and back? I suppose the cost depends on just how many he can sack…
Take a bright but lonely star and put it gently in your pocket Take a piece of clear blue sky and keep it safe within a locket Take a freshly broken heart, gather its pieces, make them warm And glue them back together with the magic you per…
Marvello the Magician didn't know a single trick Yet his sleight of hand was awesome even with fingers that thick So each time he took the stage the audience would hiss and jeer They paid to see illusions, not a clown who stank of beer Ever…
Riding back across the desert he hoped that no-one else would see It was just not worth the price if he let anybody know Of his secret in the desert, a thing that gave a golden glow Undeniably, it's beautiful, it's priceless yet it's free S…
Wow! What a day for the acrostic challenge! I count 29 posts in all, every single one a belter in its own right. But I have had to charge my iThing three times today. Yes way. My poor phone! I don't know whether to thank you or not... I je…
Oh dear. There's somewhere you've missed Please forgive me, I couldn't resist Up high with the birds Such beautiful words Special place where we all exist...
Hidden, no-one could see Had the ring inside my pocket Got down on bended knee I hoped that you'd be ready I hoped that you'd say yes I knew you'd look so lovely Resplendent in wedding dress Your hands flew to your mouth Said yes, I'll be…
N othing's open after nine V acant high street unforgiving E stuary English tells of Y esteryears tragedy I t's like Berlin-Sur-Mer S topping repeats of '53 L eave the pubs alone A nd you might get out alive N o smoking, if you please D on…
Morning each! First off, thanks to @yamaarashi (and mum) for choosing my piece as their winner. Luvvly jubbly. So, to business. This time I want you to make where you live your acrostic word. Town or city, county or state, or even your c…
It's only little, isn't it? So with everybody ready Faces turned toward the sky Waiting for the moment The meteorite would fly by But a couple of shooting stars Was all the people got They went home disappointed But there was something …
It's a recent piece, with two new lines. It is reposted by request. Who am I to argue with that? Borne upon the breeze, the sound of gypsy mandolins Tunes played for a ha'penny, accompanied by violins The public house is full again, for be…
Here we go again! Bit of Saturday afternoon fun for us all. You know how to play, here's some lyrics... 'A prophet took my hand on Old Souls Day He preached the value of deception Changing shadows by shapeshifters rules Tales are never j…
Slept in. Didn't want to go Caught the bus. Hoped it wouldn't show He's at the gate. Nice guy disguise Only popular through old school ties Overpowered. Led to the fence Length of twine. A face intense Damage done. Well played, you Agonise…
I'd travelled far, crossed every ocean Caused consternation and commotion For I couldn't shake my singular notion To create, at last, a loving potion I knew of an ancient recipe Sprig of lilac, a strawberry Some hair from a woman in Southe…
Until it's bled No more rain Land lies dead Is the hole in the sky Going to seal our fate? Humanity, as usual Too little, too late
Cold shells buried deep, buried deep under ice sheets Snow covered bloody limbs, bloody limbs no longer heat @yikici Footsteps leading away, leading away from devilish play Guilt no longer felt, no longer need he pray @EDogg For no rede…
A pinch and a punch First day of the month A game that we always play We've played it forever Since we've been together And still will when we're old and grey I won today It's not always this way For sometimes I don't remember Last time I …
dear mum Don't know if you'll ge t this letter not sure if ill be allowed to send it actually, they say I've been naughty. but theyve let me have my paper so I will write it anyway. it's not ba d here my rooms comfy. i dont like the bars th…
Ok last one for me tonight, so try this one on for size... 'Waiter.' That's it. First one in the comments gets it. Good luck!
The second in a series to stave off Sienna's boredom! Here's the lyrics... Conquering myself until I see another hurdle approaching Say we can, say we will Not just another drop in the ocean Ok no googling! Be brave and admit it if you …
Stuck within the sunlight isn't where you want to be Underneath your coffin lid is where you'll find safety Never look for blood in the cold harsh light of day Lest you turn to so much dust, and the breeze sweeps you away I know it's pretty…
I'm not here for your entertainment I'm not even here for you I'm not here to bend over backwards As you always wanted me to I haven't come to apologise I haven't even come to pack I haven't come for your pity That's something you'll al…
The missus likes to make a name From her registration plate Last one up was Diddikoi You've been told of that ones fate They've been varied, often strange Sometimes easy, like FooFoo And others read as written Like plain and simple old Nep…
Where is everybody? Are you all still sound asleep? Has it suddenly become the trend to count some extra sheep? Do you shy away from daytime? Do you crumble in the light? Are you using magic pens that only seem to work at night? Has imagina…
Followers, we need you! You keep us keen Especially now When the times are lean I've got myself plenty And I thank you all But something's amiss So I'll put out a call I'm not complaining Please don't get me wrong If writing's your thing He…
Contains swearing. Surprisingly... Early every morning amid a million yawns and sighs Drag my carcass out of bed and rub my tired eyes Ablute, dress, descend, the first of many cups of tea A kiss goodbye, unlock the door. And I swear he wa…
I've never been a writer So I shall never understand You give your feelings to a stranger Seem to ignore my loving hand I've never made a poem I'm incapable of rhyme But you give yours to others Time after time after time I cannot tell …
Chapter 2 Barely half an hour after his flat had hurled itself at him, James Bond found himself staring at the brass plaque inconspicuously bearing the legend 'Universal Exports'. He was still amused that such a weak cover was still being …
We'll take the morning by the hand Though we're apart, I understand I'll spend some time in wonderland And dream a little dream of us We walk alone, mid-afternoon Separate paths, one mournful tune Not converging any time soon I'll take t…
Really make my song take flight...
If you were served a burger made of non specific meat Would you bother even asking what's been killed to make your treat? If you scoffed it all with gusto, not a crumb left on your plate Would you really be that bothered, would you mind the…
Don't come to me with goodness, I am not that way inclined Even though I cut a dash, I'm not what you think you'll find Vampires may be sexy in a certain kind of light I can play all day while they can only stay the night Lust is what you'r…
And this morning it's no different, though the circumstance is strange Ten years solid service, employed as a tool setter Ne'er a foot put wrong and no-one else could do it better But two other guys can do it, so the board's had an idea Two…
Borne upon the breeze, the sound of gypsy mandolins Tunes played for a ha'penny, accompanied by violins The public house is full again, for beer and life are cheap But the smell as you walk past is well enough to make you weep The hansom o…
#sundayrepost Found my soul this morning Sitting on the side Apparently in an iPhone app What a place to hide It told me it was in a rut Underused in the main All I needed was to write To set it free again
'Poor old Johnny Ray Sounded sad upon the radio Moved a million hearts in mono Our mothers cried...' With thanks to Dexy's Midnight Runners, these are the first lines to 'Come on Eileen'. That's all well and good, I hear you say. But then …
I'll put down the phone And not wait for your call If you decide It isn't for you You know where I am And you know what to do If it's too much to lose If it's worth something yet Then don't think of me And I'll try to forget But if you d…
A man walks into a pub and orders a pint. As he's sipping away at it, he takes in the interior, for it's his first visit. Where the toilets are, do they do food, the donkey... The donkey? Yes, in the far corner of the pub is a sad looking d…
As I drown in fathoms of pain I know you won't come back again And as I'm sinking, ever falling It is your love that I am mourning @Platypus I try to stand against the tide Waves of tears that I have cried I see all hope start to capsize T…
P retty winter wonderland I s what I can see today C old but still heartwarming T akes my breath away U nderneath a greying sky R iverbanks are frozen, white E ven though the water's flowing T he odds are it'll freeze tonight H ere solitud…
As I lay in the darkness I stole a glance at you Breathing in a moonbeam As you so often do I smile because I know While you're off in la la land I'm probably there with you Gently holding your hand Then I get to thinking Of the little t…
Traces of me lay bare Elevated, unaware Empirical nuances - filter through You rarely notice, it's cruel By @yikici You've grown immune to my needs Watching as destruction plants its seed. Warmth has gone I should have known all along. B…
#myfavouriterepost (with a new verse) What's this that I can see A preacher dressed in black And he's beckoning to me He said. 'Son, you've had a life And now it's time to pay I have come here to collect And the price is due today A life…
Re-ignite my spark Unnerve me with your gaze Make me feel a shiver Purge, then burn me with your flame The temptation you deliver Is all part of this game Oh, to find a word to fit Undersold is as underhit Scrumptious is just the half of it…
In the dead of night When the moon is high The remains of the day Are laying idly by The mess that we make As we dive through the day Need collecting completely And storing away You'll never see them But they're millions strong And they ha…
My bloody OCD's invading every single day Got this affliction on the cheap, but boy, it makes me pay Invited to a party, we're ready but please wait We're not going anywhere 'til the remotes are straight I'm checking all the windows just be…
H eard your iPhone singing, are you going to take the call? E ven though I know who's ringing, I'll do nothing at all A ll you'll say is 'It's my mother, I'll phone her back some time' R eally it's your lover not even trying to hide his cri…
And I'm picking up the pieces Reminders of our releases Trust as dust, when lust descends Best to love and lose Really? Try to find me then Or walk in my shoes King to king of pain Each tear, a sad songs refrain No, never again...
A home for waifs and strays Is all that we're good for Bunny No. 8 Will soon be knocking on our door His owners will be moving So he's without a place to dwell Lucky then, we've got the space And a spare hutch as well He'll live the life …
'D o you know what the word nemesis means?' I s a line from just one of so many classic scenes A multi-layered tale with a myriad plot strands M ostly though of fighting, illegally, with bare hands O n the streets of dear old London is wher…
At noon tonight An old moon will rise Among a million sighs Blue bats will fly In a lightening sky Tall tales told by trees Just before they freeze A chilling tune For its cold at noon At noon tonight Colours will run From an exploding su…
It's a thing that makes the weak act lawlessly Are they really a girls best friend? Maybe so if you've the money to spend Overpriced compacted carbon deflecting your view No sign of blood at all before it's sold to you Decide for yourself …
Poor Errol couldn't get wood Like most other actors could He got off his rocks By stuffing his socks Down his hose to enhance his manhood And as he fell about the place With no sign of an air or a grace Starlets stayed away So Errol turned…
S urely I'd be better attached S uspended, safe, and not detached S ticks should stick together T hrough all kinds of weather I am angry at the fate I see C oming soon, death is all there'll be K nowing a dog's gonna be slobbering all over…
One morning I shall wake Amid the new days break The living will be easy And not so tough to take One morning I will find Something good within the grind Beautiful and gentle To smooth the edges of my mind One morning I will see That it's…
Took a job in the local video store. A fella came in wanting The Jungle Book on DVD. Told him we only had it on Baloo-ray... The End.
Success! Smiles are Spreading, Share Inside, Inevitably, Inertia Increases Growing old Gracefully, Gardening, Grey hair Nothing but Needy Nephews & Nieces...
Don't dream she'll put up with it Things packed in a single case Only somethings passed him by Here to take his place Is his new lovers even newer guy So now he's a single man Freedom overfills his plate Although this wasn't in his plan …
R eally, Evans? I resign? Is that all you've got to say? E ven though you hold position and it's reflected in your pay? S orry sir, it's something that I feel I have to do I 've served my life long sentence, now it's time for pastures new …
Morning all! Sorry for the delay, I've been applying TLC and KFC in equal measures this weekend. Thanks from me and Mrs Lee to all of you for your get well messages. Most appreciated. So to business, and the first word that came to mind t…
To celebrate a milestone Seems quite the thing to do And why not, it's rather special To have penned a hundred or two But then there is the difficult choice What to write to make your mark Heaven forbid, the dreaded writers block Should pr…
Who wouldn't let anyone in His doors remained locked Bolted, barricaded, blocked As if opening them would be a sin A pretty young maiden named Betty Had heard of Flynns love of spaghetti She'd cooked up a plan To win her a man Staying ind…
Moving through the blackness With puddles at my feet In this shitty part of town There's someone I must meet I work for the bureau And she is just a whore But right now there isn't anyone I want to see more She gets busted all the time For…
Stay with the old? Or try something new If you were here Would we take a chance Wait for the rain Then go and dance If you were here Would we shun the rest Ignore what they say And hope for the best If you were here Would you let it go Woul…
What do I like, or like to do? Hmmm... 1. Write. I've always enjoyed writing, but it kinda got left for the longest time. Ever since I found this app however I've never been more inspired to write. Addicted? Nah, I could put it down any ti…
Rude at the end. Read on... It's on private prescription, a little extra TLC And no-one's got more magical massaging mitts than me She's had an accident that's left her rather shaky Neck and back are sore and all over rather achy Fish and …
Evening all. Many many thanks to @RichWithey for choosing my piece as his winner. A tough one indeed, as I'm sure a lot of you will testify. (Thank god for Wikipedia...) Anyhoo, to business. I'm interrupting your evening to tell you all I'…
I can still recall Sitting at the table alone A solitary chair as a poor mans throne And just a dialling tone as I wait for your call By default or by design Fate decided we would meet Now you're making tracks with your dancing feet You di…
Today is the day after And we've put it all away The single heart and rose We couldn't sell yesterday Today the end of romance Most unconditionally Tesco wants it shelves back Other things to sell, you see Don't even bother looking For…
D on't think you've beaten us E ven though the going's slow M y entry's in, with others I 'm at the free bar, don't you know! M aking Demimonde acrostics O h, I will freely admit N ew word for me, did some research D umas' piece? Hadn't he…
Cupid stood bemused as his arrows filled the air His task had seemed so simple: make sure love is everywhere His missiles missed their target and fell blunted to the ground And with one projectile left, it seemed love just couldn't be found…
There's flowers on the table Two settings used by one I watch the petals falling Heartache's just begun There's no you Postman came a callin' To put paper through my door I could build a funeral pyre With what d…
Once upon a memory A time and place so long ago There was you and there was me And a third I didn't know As we grew the third came with us He had been there from the start Although you said you loved me It was the other that held your hear…
I t's hard to see the bourgeoisie living any other life M en in fights on drunken nights, wine flows and women flirt O vertly sexed, who knows what's next? Jewels and coin will raise their skirt N obility, aristocracy, finding fleshpits qui…
On the darkened Essex roads This morning, a quarter to eight Traffic lights are red Did the right thing, stopped to wait Waiting patiently for green Then came this mornings farce Looming large in rear view mirrors Then went straight into h…
Hello mister moon In your darkened sea Looking down at me and grinning... Well now mister moon The way that it'll be You versus me and you're winning Shine on mister moon There's no-one quite like thee Y…
Oh the untold dangers Of a room that is full of strangers I drink, to place the steel Against this terror that I feel Surely it can't be too hard Chip at my shell, take a shard Ah! Somebody I know! You're already talking though... I'll lead…
Jack Sprat could eat a horse, he was so hungry. But neither he nor his wife had been to Tesco, so the brand new George Foreman lean, mean grilling machine they'd bought with their clubcard points stood gathering dust. And so between them t…
Love isn't something You can hold in your hand It can't be contained In a bright gold band Love can be blind Something unplanned Sometimes it burns With a permanent brand Modern day love Can be found with apps Or a love unrequited That's k…
I used to think that as I moved through dreams I would be untouched and it would be alright But as I lay awake my dreaming turns to thoughts to keep me company throughout the night A collection of colours and spirograph shapes that I carefu…
Hey there, little lady Can I be your Valentine? Although I'm pretty certain You will never be mine I see you every morning On the way to school You hang out with the guys Who are painfully cool But I won't let that stop me I'll be sending…
First one out this morning And it's snow and ice I see Thought I'd warn the missus Via modern technology I had to send a message For I feared what might come next Turned to dear old Siri For a safe and hands free text He asked me for a n…
I've seen you around I think you're as sound as a pound! Oh, please excuse the things I say It's just that I saw you again today You have the most beautiful eyes And strong looking thighs All the better, probably For running away from peop…
It's the leaving that is hard We never needed words That could have graced a soppy card We're in no way together It doesn't hurt when we're apart No-one understands What connects us by the heart It's like a business contract A special ki…
Y ou're strong, you'll need to be S hallow, deep, it makes no odds T astes the same to me E njoyment in a secret way R ight and wrong don't have a say Y ou're my fetish, now come and play...
I t's just a hop from the mundane to a sensual steam S elfish pleasuring or as part of a like minded team H old desire in or let it flow just like a stream...
Oh pull the other one, Sienna! Farting like an out of tune tenor Your shoes have gone flying It's no use denying It's game over. Goodnight Vienna! #@sjw
Now now, Sienna, don't be starting Or I'll tell 'em all of your farting Now everyone knows With gas in your hose Your shoes will soon be departing... #@sjw
There's a birthday in my house so it's curry time tonight Ain't had one for years, and that surely isn't right But tonight the gloves are off, lay it all upon my plate Beers will pour, heads will be sore, Sunday morning knows my fate I like…
The girl with the wild red hair Came to the cliff face stair And with a wave of her sonic wings Took me absolutely everywhere She threw a shape and threw her head back Opened her songbook at night times page And as a single stars light sh…
Bollocks. Dave has gone What will I do now? He may not be our cat But I'd got used to his meow A cheeky little fella He just appeared one day We tried our best to make him leave But he wouldn't go away Pretty soon we gave up For things w…
Are you looking for company? No I won't... Don't...please don't Here is where the pleasure ends A dirty bedsit, whores for friends Tears fall, but are kept unseen Ever knowing what she could have been...
Everything you are is at odds with you Say you hate the old but you're scared of the new Decisive in your mind, your head sits on the fence Enter with a swagger but no confidence Lay the best laid plans then never see them through You're n…
One sunny day, Jack decided to go looking for love down on the beach. However, he'd forgotten about the fact that he was wearing a shocking pink mankini which of course was three sizes too small, chafed in all the wrong places, and left him…
Eternal if you hatE...
There's a girl with wild red hair She wants me there And I'll go, oh, I shall go I'll ascend the cliff face stair And privately she will sing to me Of pieces and of cities All the while, she'll beguile With her smoky mirrored sobrieties S…
It was time. It had gone on for too long, and it was out of control. It had to be stopped. I could take no more. It was driving me insane. A million questions ran through my head. Should I? Shouldn't I? Why had I let it go on for so long…
D rummer takes his seat, he's ready R hythm sections nerves are steady U nderneath the bright spotlight M iked up kit that soundchecked right M akes the beats with sticks in hand I n the shadow of the band N ightly gigs for pittance pay G …
With you, the sun doesn't seem to shine You maintain a distance when most would entwine With you, the nights are lonely and long We pretend that it's right when plainly, it's wrong With you, togetherness seems a chore Stilted, at best, yet …
Warning: Swear words within. Hey ho... Unexpected LeeTime™ is what I have in store Someone's at a class, so when I walk through the door I'll put the day behind me and get my comfies on Shower shave and have a rave with the missus gone Foo…
Since you left Life has no taste Live through days in haste All that we built is laid to waste Since you left All I want to do Is say all I want is you But it seems I am unable to Since you left The phone never rings To tell the truth, t…
I was coming around. Again. I was sat in a chair. Again. And it was dark. Yes, again. But this time I wasn't tied to the chair, far from it. I wasn't attached to it at all, so I stretched out my arms first, then my legs. So far so good. Not…
Thought I'd use Beta For a little while Try to write something That'll make you smile Seems to be working Seems to be fine For those who are i-less The androids, the online I bring my i-charger To work every day For iThings lose p…
I f you're going to smoke J ust make sure you don't run out K inda turns you cranky, when you're L eft without your snout M ake sure the wife is happy N o matter what it takes O h sure, you'll have no money, but P atience, you'll get your …
Come on everybody, step forward, don't be shy I've a one time only offer that you shouldn't let pass by For sale: the thing you're standing on, can't fit it in my van But you've bought from me before, you can trust me, I'm the man I know I'…
Taking tea with a tiger Watch for the claws! They chip the teapot When he pours Just one more crack And the thing will break! I'll have to pour For the teapots sake He doesn't take sugar That's a good thing of course For he can't hold a te…
Shake the sweet subconscious Covers let me be Pillows plumped and pretty Please hold my dreams for me I'll leave them where I left them Scattered on fields of white Please do not disturb I shall need them back tonight For now the daytime…
U nder library's silence I went N icked this book from your stack D on't think you're ever getting it back...
Here's a bunch of words, random, seemingly Cobbled together to form some halfassed poetry It isn't quite The Ilyad, not exactly perfect prose But what on earth will please you, God only knows I've used only normal words so that it's easy to…
Cut. Cut... CUT!! Wow. Thanks everybody, with over thirty pieces, this acrostic must have had the most entries of any challenge I've had the pleasure to host. I let you choose your acrostic word, and you certainly didn't disa…
A nd though you don't know it yet R emember, she's your sister S ex with Leia, you'll regret...
N o one can hear you scream...
Positions please... And.... Action! We all love a good film, right? Well movie lovers this one's for you. For this acrostic challenge, I want you to pick a film. Any film. Your favourite, one you hate, any one you like, and use th…
. ________ /R. I. P.\ / \ /Here doth lie \ | A golden land | |Egypt, killed by | | its …
If you're becoming an Opussycat today Here's a few tips to show you the way These are not rules they're just so you know How we roll here on Opuss. Right then, let's go... No bitching, no biting, preferably no fighting No Facebooking, Tweet…
There was once a man named Jack. Jack really loved to experiment. One not so average day, however, Jack had a nasty run-in with a vacuum cleaner. This experience forever changed Jacks life. Now Jack is forced to suffer carpet burns while …
I got a really, really close butchers at it this morning in my rear view mirror... ...that's how I know this Dear Mercedes Bastard Then you overtook But you didn't indicate, because you were too busy on your phone and when you sailed past …
C runchie, Bounty, hand 'em over T wo Fruit & Nuts? I'm in clover I 'm off to scoff a king size Twix O h these are the Devils tricks! N ot seduction, more a chocolate fix...
N othing can ever feel the same...
In a corner of my mind, I keep the past complete I can visit when I like, I don't need an e-receipt Modern life is broken, far too busy, way too fast But wouldn't it be fun to have an iThing in the past Opposite our house was a field wher…
Oh look, there goes another one I wanna be on that plane Rising through the atmosphere Away from the mundane I know it's only EasyJet But that'll do for me It's going to the places That I have yet to see Is it turning left to Ireland Or i…
#acrostic S omething about you U ndid me S oulmate true A bsolutely N ever easy for you and me F ortune smiled on us, you see A nd now here we stand C an you feel my hand E ternally
Dear @patdolan83 just a little note, so that you knoW, after tHe post you madE regaRding subliminal mEssaging, i've checked my accountS, and iT seems tHat All my money is sTill where i lefT it. Even though i weNt back time aNd again to rE…
There's a fella at work That I write about Eighteen feet tall And a great noisy lout Most of the time He's an absolute dick Completely unfunny And boring. And thick He stands and he stares With hands on hips His foghorn baritone Could ste…
B oring fishing. *sighs* O h, I would have much more fun B leeding from my eyes...
I 'd go again tomorrow D own to the Keys I'd go A nd visit every single one H eartbeat a calypso O verhead, it's stormy L ightning tears the night D olphins I have swam with S uch fun, such a delight M y travels aren't too varied Y et t…
Today I need something nice An ACME anti-Bob device Should you find such a thing Please give me a ring And I'll buy it at double the price When you need, he's nowhere to be found When you don't he is always around He says he'll help out Th…
I could feel the cool 3am air on my face as we stood by the freshly shattered window. Peering through, I could see our escape route snaking in zigzags down the outside of the motel. The fire escape. I motioned to Emma to go first. She smil…
Remember when we used to hold hands Slowly walking down the street Listening to bands Saying Hi to people we'd meet Remember how it used to feel I thought that we felt the same Something new and real I sought a lovers naked flame Standing …
Don't hesitate It's a private show Don't make me wait No-one else will know The red moon's aglow Deal fast Deal slow Make the game last A moments fleeting flame A crystal glance Or a moment passed The red moon replies Reflected In the mirro…
I could sleep right now, this very minute Conjure a dream and then climb in it Brain akimbo, heavy old lids Attempts at alertness are hitting the skids The reason is simple, for all last night Tossing and turning as if having a fight Invadi…
A lways someone to put you down T ip your hat to the sun, take off the frown T ake it all within your stride I t's a helter skelter rollercoaster ride T ake on board the things they say U se them to help you on your way D on't let the basta…
S uch beautiful words, shine your light...
E vermore, you leave your mark...
I have the very thing for you, won't you come and see? He led me from his run down stall, down into the next street I felt a little nervous; in fact I had cold feet But then we turned a corner and there it was, this thing I said to him, 'Wh…
Once upon an Opuss A promise for Jojo A little bedtime story By someone you all know But the story never came And she thought, 'What the hell? He's reneged upon his promise And I thought I knew him well...' The truth is he went out To a …
Does it do to leave the light on For your shenanigans at night Does it do to leave your socks on It's not a pretty sight Does it do to leave the seat up Guessing who'll be next Does it do to get involved Then end it all by text Does it do t…
If you feel your pulse is quickening Don't be too perturbed If the atmosphere is thickening There's something you've disturbed Movements fleet and darting All around the room The torment's only starting As they peel themselves from the gl…
#arseholes! Warning: there are arseholes and wankers in this piece. Twice now I'm murderous today Best stay out of my way You were supposed to fix things But you didn't even stay I know you all by name Playing your iThing game If this g…
Born in times of old...
Bananas for breakfast, the gorilla said And then again for lunch Some before I go to bed I need to eat a bunch! I daren't argue with this gorilla He's far bigger than me He'd use me as a sandwich filler Then have bananas for tea I served…
Slow burn Worlds turn And yet they stay In their place today Times change And rearrange Embrace the new When they look for you The old will seem Like a fading dream They hide, they guide They're along for the ride Born, presented Compliment…
D allas, '63 A young man hits the streets R uffling plenty feathers, but a K ing to all he meets S uch a lovely day E verybody sports a smile C onspiracists are ready R ound the corner, a cinephile E ver ready with his camera T o catch an e…
Some find it unusual, I make it commonplace To take my tea with members of a multi-spindled race The washing up's a doddle, done at four times the pace When I invite an octopus to tea With tea we will have cake, on a nice bone china plate…
I was on my way to bed When Dave got it in his head To bring a mouse Into the house Wish I'd left him out instead I wasn't sure at first Why he came in with such a burst 'Dave, come over here' Then it all became clear His timing couldn't…
Dusting all her yesterdays She keeps them to herself There's no-one left to share The years she keeps upon the shelf An empty whiskey bottle Is the only sign of life She's worn around the edges Never taken as a wife Happy with existence She…
I farted in the bath! Jesus, what a laugh I already had bubbles But now I had double And did it smell? Not 'arf! My lack of graces and airs Meant she heard it from downstairs Like a crack of thunder It came from down under And caught me un…
It taps into my very core Then leaks from every darkened pore Infects, controls, hotwires my brain Leaves me with the deepest stain Once in, it's very hard to move Inverted smile that won't improve Rhythms regularly repeated I try to break,…
I didn't sleep. Emma did, though, and I divided my time between watching over her and looking though the dirty window to the street below, waiting for the goons to show again. I'd reckoned they'd come back, but so far nothing, so I let her…
In a pink and blue sky Dreams float by Reach out for one That catches your eye Hold on tight With all of your might Follow the dream That feels just right How will I know? Where will I go? Breathe it in quick And let it out slow It was t…
H ow can you stand it? Y ou're branded by bullshit P ro/against in the same minute O vertly sickly C hange your mind, and quickly R eally lay it on thickly I s it comfy under the cover S ay one thing, mean another Y our standpoint's neithe…
I'm not all that old And I'm not complaining, but Bugger me, it's cold!
A little help is all I give No need to be so defensive Politely say what you need to say And I will gladly go away A little chip, as we grow older May be found upon our shoulder How can it be from little buds Early signs of bags of spuds …
T ell what you've found O ver the centuries N ever once make a sound E ach shadow they cast H olds a mystery E very explanation N ew conspiracy G uardians of time E nlighten me...
My little motor Has served me well Even though my street Was icy as hell Made it to work Through all the snow There'll be absentees Today, I know They all live real close And I'm miles away Wait for the excuses Chaps, I have to say Get o…
E asy if you've got the stuff...
I'm the shecret agent The besht among my field I've got the -ahem- gadgetsh To make the ladiesh yield My movie name ish Jamesh I'm alsho known ash Shean I've been a ladykiller Shince before you were born Doeshn't matter who I'm playing Or …
I've just got up (For 'twas a late night) Looked out the window And everything's white! So, just a small Opuss A lil' note to say I'll be back later on I'M OFF TO PLAY!
My cat passes time By pulling his hair Pieces of Patches Are everywhere How he's not bald I'll never know It could probably make A black and white throw Into your dinner His rudder will fall He'll howl at you For no reason at all The pick…
N othing's really making sense G ood dreams never make you tense N ightmares on the other hand I nstil fear by man of sand G o to sleep searching for peace H ere you'll find horrors release T ake a trip into the black M ake no mistake, the…
Look out of the window today Some snow has come my way But it really weren't much A light dusting as such Not what the weathermen say They seem to be clinging on Telling me it'll snow before long What I hate the most When they move the goa…
Evening each. Time to announce. Not too much time to get your pieces in, but I count nine, and all of outstanding quality, so thanks to everybody who entered. As always, judging was a complete bloody mare. Ok, to business. And in time ho…
And you're practically set When clear becomes your sight The only hint you'll get The answer's a little wet...
Oh no! Look at the sky! It's gonna snow today! The country's gonna shut, as befits the British way I've emptied out my boot and I've filled it up with stuff Like pitons, rope and food, I hope it's gonna be enough It's gonna be torrential! T…
Yup, an oldie. Thought I'd put it back up. No reason, I just like it. He, the crossword addict She, starved of affection Attempts to capture sauciness Were met with firm rejection Each day he'd scan the papers For crosswords he'd not done…
A nd it seems there's no resistance C asual shoppers standing static H igh streets non-existence I 'm my hearts desires mechanic N eeds and wants a click away E ver present is a panic S omeone pulls the plug some day...
Morning each, and a big sloppy kiss for @ckahn for choosing my ditty as her winner. Thanks Kristi. To business, then... It's gonna be a short time frame for you, I'd like your entries in by 10pm... Tonight! Plenty of time for you wordy cr…
Tell me, won't you, if you can What you think I be I sometimes am reptilian Hard to halt once free Can you see through me?
There are moments when I hate you All you seem to do is moan You have a go at me But you're never off your phone Tell me we've no money Yet you splash it all about Oh look, new boots when there's no loot And we're not going out My drums are…
Sometimes it's too hard to find the path through all the rain Even when your eyes are dry it just wells up again Sometimes it takes a million tears, an ocean of regret Before a path's revealed and it's one that isn't wet Sometimes choices m…
It's cold and still Outside the back door Even time seems frozen By the wintry hoar Trees weighing heavy From the frosting they wear They appear in bloom Even though they are bare Along the towpath From freezing fog Wrapped couple emerge W…
Wouldn't it be something if the moon were made of cheese And casually placed tenners were carried gently on the breeze That there was a shop of dreams and it was buy one get ten free Then we could fly around the world and get lost in its be…
#part-time nightdwellers Down a dark lane, by an old tree Is where you'll find me, usually Changing metaphysically Howling uncontrollably Fully lit by moon, you'll see My monster breaking out from me Cursed Luna, my purgatory Lupus Sapie…
#aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!! I miss my morning Opuss tea When Eddie's not in town But things have gone from bad to worse They've closed the canteen down! It's the hell of a disaster Yes it's on a biblical scale When the news had filtered throug…
N ot 'til blue turns into black I t would be the hardest thing to take N ot to know the beautiful break G od's creation or natures way S o begins a brand new day
Once upon a yesterday In an everlasting sun Seams unpicked and solid Innocence yet undone Times the youth within us Was all we'd ever need Taken all too quickly Consumed by growing's greed Return me to a memory Back to a ripening field A…
A mushroom cloud was coming, but Harley didn't care Her own self preservation didn't matter any more All she wanted now was to win the Gotham War Then the Big Red 'S' arrived and with a flourish of his cape Announced, 'It's over Harley. You…
Even then it weren't that great And with no writer credit As I've already said That fella, Mr. A. Unknown Must be going out of his head! Glamorising cutting Is a sick old thing to do And was it copy/pasted? Or have we just run out of glu…
Playground realms and kingdoms Ruled by a stronger hand Money brings protection For those too weak to stand They are small and you are tall And they've learnt to understand That they shouldn't say a word Every time you close your hand You…
My first name is Author My second is Unknown And I'm the man to turn to When you can't write your own There's no need for theft You can mention me by name But if you can't be bothered You're deserving of your fame It's all I'll ever ask If …
'Send him in.' The words that filtered through to the small office were cold, not helped by the dated intercom system which conveyed them. Cold and bland and as flat as the files he could see on the desk he was perched upon. The sudden need…
For with Thor, The Fantastic Four and Spider-Man still here They knew they'd be safe in the day and sleep content at night But among the sewers, underground, and keeping out sight Was the last surviving villain, grinding teeth with rage Tha…
It was a lovely summers day When he took his stick and walked To the sleepy little hamlet Of which the locals talked He strolled and took the sights No signage could he see It should only be mile How much longer could it be? And then the s…
There's a girl in my dream And she commands invisibility Oh how she flaunts and teases And taunts As she moves through a crowd Unseen But with a presence felt She lays a morselled trail To let me know where she's been She plays a game But…
. ________ /R. I. P. \ / \ /Here doth lie \ | the colour blue | | Green and red | | and …
I elementally elucidated for your edification. It was flash diction.
I thought I could run faster than Usain Bolt. But it was just dash fiction...
Gangsters, guns, buggery, boxers, a gold watch, zingy dialogue and Ezekiel 25:17. Flash Pulp Fiction...
I've got my mac on. And nothing else. I've done it fifteen times this morning! Flash addiction...
Iron Man got rusty. Thor turned out gay. Captain America done for tax evasion. Hulk got smashed. Avengers Disassemble...
Big old boat sets sail. Hits a big old iceberg. s i n k s
The door creaked open... It had rusty hinges... I oiled them... And... The door closed again, quietly...
Red wine spilt. It never came out.
Beginning. Middle. End...
Abusers, you should know I've a place for you to go You'll be suited and booted And then executed I'm calling it Saville Row...
The galaxy between us Means I tend a black hole heart But if we're not together At least we'll never have to part This planet we inhabit Is just too big and wide Its oceans and its seas Are formed from tears we've cried This dark event…
Worst time he'd ever had The proverbial bad penny Cursed since it was struck The man was lost, such tiny cost With small fortune he was stuck Sadly, he expired And fell upon the floor The penny rolled away Gleaming innocence once more He…
A beautiful blue rock Floating free in outer space New and freshly formed Filled with harmony and grace In the beginning all was well Organisms got along Then came the human race And things started to go wrong First there was the apeman Had…
L earn life upon both sides... ...or learn to live no more
|\ /| | \_____/ | | \ / | | • • | |____/\___ | | | …
The Fantasti-Car has settled in the space left by Wayne Towers HarleyQuinn and Loki have noticed this with interest They're spoiling for a fight but this one could be a real test It could just be a brawl but Reed knows better than that He k…
How, by definition Does it feel to be alive Is it something that we do Or is it that for which we strive? I've heard it said, 'Live Your Life' For you only get the one Elucidate my friend Come and show me how it's done Some may do it slowly…
Especially for @naaviie Left the house early today My shed - forgot to lock it And that's the reason that I have A dragon in my pocket I know it's not too common I know it's not the norm But every time that he exhales He keeps my fingers …
I just like this one. These are our final moments I would have liked to stay You laid too many tripwires That just got in the way It's like a mental minefield Too painful to traverse Be careful where to step Just in case the pain gets w…
I've been drinking bleach for Bieber! Jesus, did it hurt My tonsils have dissolved And I've sicked all down my shirt I don't even like him But I saw it in my feed I'll just follow blindly I've very little brain indeed I'll admit that I am c…
A personal favourite. Tea on the doorstep You say it's a date No need to dress up Don't mind if you're late Nothing too fancy Don't care for smart Just need a kettle You and your heart And there we can sit See what we'll see Talk into the…
Until there's no more Pack up your suitcase And deadbolt the door The green and the blue Now brown and black There's nothing to do And there's no way back Pull out the plug Drain all the seas Turn down the wind 'Til it's barely a breeze Ta…
Thor had swung his hammer but it wasn't any good His evil brother Loki was now in the neighbourhood Spider-Man had tried but he'd had to swing away His alter ego Peter had exams throughout the day What the thunder god required was a hero b…
E lse miss your true soulmate...
If you 'Cut for Bieber' Please excuse my biting pen For it feels you're missing something And that's the letter 'N'
Ebbs for thEre are threE...
#acrostic Soulmates, loverS Old, and young toO Uphill for yoU Loveless fooL Make your claiM And with full orchestrA Take empty hearT Enter love, to set you freE
An oldie, with a new title and new lines, dusted off and posted especially for @burrahobbit Sherlock Holmes had decided to play Much to Watson's obvious dismay 'Holmes, you really should be solving this riddle Instead of scratching at that…
What a cracking start to the #acrostic challenge! Loads of great entries, all of a fantastic standard. Well done to everybody who took part. Special mentions first, and I have a few... @naaviie - for putting the word elsewhere @eddie12309…
Down in darkest Gotham web head's cleaning up alright But he studies by the day and he just patrols the night Spidey needs some help to wipe away the sunlit crime He'd do it between classes but he just can't find the time For freshly out of…
Everywhere I look there is a little plastic pot She says it's for recycling but I know it is not She's eaten all the yoghurt and it's now dishwasher clean But its final resting place is a place best kept unseen Don't get me wrong, I'll put …
With the Batman bested, it seems Gotham's in deep trouble Arkham's overrun, Wayne Towers reduced to rubble Bullseye, a new villain, has arrived to take his aim The city's in his crosshairs, things will never be the same Harley's still aroun…
Get a life you say? I've got one of those And I live it each day On the app that I chose You all know me I give advice Hopefully useful Nearly always nice I try to help out It's what I do I'd have been happy With a 'no thank you' You got…
L earning's the key E ndlessly N ew day brings G ladder tidings E ach challenge we face S trengthens the place...
Morning ladies and gennelmen... I've been threatening you with it for a while, and now, may I present... The Acrostic Challenge! Simple enough stuff, use each letter of the word supplied to begin the first word of each line of your piece. D…
It seems I've survived... Monday morning, up yo'ass My tea has arrived!
Oh wondrous Monday morning How I wonder what you'll hold I wonder what I'll find And how much more there's to be told The first thing that I see Is an oil spill on the floor I wonder how long it'll be Before I walk back out the door I wonde…
Hello you. It's New Year's Day, so Happy New Year. Just a quick note to let you know what's coming up in 2012. Well, you'll remain married. All year, which is good. And work? It'll be ok, but nothing will really change. It'll pay your way…
If I were to post a quote It's a safe and honest bet It'd be something wot I wrote And not stolen from the net...
I think four line cutting posts Should be left upon the shelf That's just my point of view I'm just expressing myself...
If there was a speed record for getting across town, I would have broken it. Whoever it was behind the trashing of my apartment clearly wanted me here, and, parking noisily outside Lou's, I didn't intend to disappoint them. I turned off t…
There's a face off going on, near the spire of Wayne Towers Supercostumed superpsychos, neither one with superpowers And while the jester and the Batman just waste each others time Down on Gothams streets there's another wave of crime Harle…
Enough of costumed villainy, it's time to go old school I'm the mercenary and it's Gotham I shall rule I have my share of brains, Batman understands of course But he needs to realise I can best him with brute force I hear the city whining a…
It looks like the 'yay's have it! Thanks to everybody who left a yay in the comments and to all those kind enough to repost. I'll be starting up the #acrostic challenge on Monday. Thanks again everyone.
The Joker and the Batman Thought it would be a ruse To see what their lives might be like In each others shoes It looked like fun, what they had done Through Gotham's neon nights But Joker couldn't get with wearing pants outside his tights.…
Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue. I'd been there all day, sometimes standing, sometimes walking. Always getting wet. Huge tear shaped drops reflected everything in their bulbous bodies before splashing down on to the car roofs li…
And when I'm around something's always afoot You'll hear me giggling a mile away When I think of a plan to lead Batty astray But I don't think that I can beat Bats on my own Some like minded villains have appeared on my phone Lets take a lo…
As some of you know already, I've been toying with the idea of an acrostic challenge. Now that we've laid the Household to rest (gawd bless 'er) I didn't want to just stride in with a new challenge, I thought I'd use this post to say how I …
Because I'm missing a leg I am labelled disabled I'm just differently enabled I'm aware that you stare But I can go anywhere Forget the graces and airs I'm just slower with stairs And if you think that I'd sink Because my balance is on the …
Citizens of Gotham, I stand upon the roof This city needs some help, watch the skies to see the proof A brightly costumed villainess has been spotted recently Is she on her way to Arkham to set the others free? Citizens she'll fool you with…
Remote controls are everywhere And not just for TV Used to make do with just one Now there's at least three They used to be so simple For me to operate Just trying to change the channel Leaves me in a state Pick up the remote Whilst layin…
First day back and my mood is black Hard to take heart when your car won't start Started ok then I got halfway Stopped off for fuel now it don't want to play Two weeks downtime but the thing worked fine Now I'm in need and it's a pain indee…
I tried to take it all in. The trashing of the apartment, the vision of my wife at the end of the replay. It was too much. I stepped on the cigarette, shaking my head and trying to clear my thoughts. What in the hell was going on? The day h…
Once upon a Wednesday, back in 1952 An old lady had died, and her body turned quite blue Her boiler had packed up, and with no money for repair Her fragile heart succumbed to the chill within the air She lay there for a day and no-one notic…
In backstreet burnt out London there's a racket going on But there's a network of protectors you can place your faith upon See the shady fella, with his face obscured by smoke We all know his name, he's an ordinary bloke A slippery one at b…
There were tantrums and tears At this bash for New Years Plenty of booze And tempers to lose And it was the kids Whose night hit the skids Party hosted by their mother But they left for another Small fights ensued As they started to brood T…
I was going to post a quote But there wasn't any need There's already far too many Clogging up my feed An instalment of my story A nice fat juicy chunk But I couldn't concentrate Because I got a little drunk How about something funny Perha…
I put the disc back in its pouch and returned it to my coat pocket. I lit another cigarette, needing the relief the smoke gave, and sat heavily on the sofa, replaying in my mind what the disc had just shown me. What it had shown me was thi…
H ogmanay's upon us A new year is on its way P arty time for many P eace I hope will stay Y esterdays are gone N ew futures for us all E ach destiny comes true W hen love and life stand tall Y ears may come and go E ach ol…
'Where?' 'Just through there, sir.' As I put my badge back into my coat I looked up and could see where the young patrolman was pointing. I nodded my acknowledgement and walked on. It was raining as usual but I ignored it and soon I was sta…
For I'm just a normal bloke It'd hate to breathe clean air Then watch it all go up in smoke Have I the will to cut the drinking The wine, the spirits, and the beer It'd find it pretty easy But what a miserable new year Have I the will to sh…
I think he's hibernating Because it's been so mild He's sleeping off the winter Somewhere in the wild He showed up for a while All blue and frosty heart To dazzle with his coolness And impress with icy art Then he disappeared As if he didn'…
Fallen angel, make no sound As you walk upon the ground No need for words, none do we seek Silently your message speak Spread your song for all to hear Everyone will shed a tear Then repaired, fly through the rain Back to heaven from whenc…
'Fellow, I've not come to save Rather to see how man behaves It comes to this, they'd kill a king They're capable, then, of anything' The cursed man died that very day And the angel moved upon her way Through the years the green and blue Y…
Q uick! Write something down U ndermine the writers O nly for the days crown T eams of post-by-nighters E verything I see R elays a simple truth S trength in numbers, unlike me D one for hearts, though there's no proof A nd …
Little Johnny's playing All around the house Loud as a battalion Quiet as a mouse In his room with Lego Building knobbly towers So much joy, this Danish toy Will keep there for hours He's got all the Action Men He's got Dinky cars He has g…
O h, did you want some turkey? V oices trailed away E verybody realised I'd R eally thrown the thing away...
But when your timer's large The sand runs so slow Tradition dictates Upon this day But I was living on leftovers anyway...
I'm abstaining today, but I just wanted to leave you with the words to my favourite xmas song and just say Merry Christmas to all the lovely people on Opuss. Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on Our t…
What on Earth is happening? Another lesson for you to learn Let's hope this latest gunman As he took aim, had grace to burn Kids, now firefighters Is it ever going to end? Christmas is now broken And it can never mend I suppose he'll blame …
The Queen in 3d? Is it necessary? Just a little gimmick By Sky TV Shades to see 3d Queenie In my living room Sitting next to me I wonder if she Plays C. O. D. Does she hang with the kids Wirelessly Is it to be By royal decree Satellite for …
C an you believe it? H ere we go again R eally close to Christmas I t's goodwill to all men S leigh bells in the distance T elling us it's near M idnight mass this evening A ll becomes quite clear S o with just one day to go E ve…
T hree T imes pas T H ere I Have a wisH R eality's an intRudeR E ntering E very nichE E nding drEams for mE...
She's gotten soaking wet And the crowds got on her tits As she sips upon her latte She knows it's just round one She's got bags to carry And they weigh a bloody ton But soon enough she's got them home Time to do some wrapping Come on Fath…
D on't stare at me, I'm only disabled I 'm just like you just not quite so enabled S pecial people are just born this way A re we so different in the cold light of day? B asically I don't work as well L esser beings would be going thr…
Yes my friends, it's true I had to do some shopping And I met him in the loo 'I didn't know you came here' 'Where did you think I'd go? No reindeer fuel at Lidl I hate queueing in Tesco In fact the shops are empty Has there been a panic …
Once upon a time (Ok, 36 years ago) There was an Xmas baby Who became a bloke you know You'll recognise his writing 'Cos he always makes you laugh Especially the time He burnt his arsehole in the bath He loves to write a limerick They're a…
. ________ /R. I. P. \ / \ / Here doth lie \ | The Mayan race | | Fortune tellers | | E…
Fancy creating all that fear! It's twelve past eleven and we're still here Your fortune telling wasn't all that hot That's why we're still around and you are not
I t's soaking wet N o sign of a snowflake 'T is not worth a bet E very Christmas R ally your hope W ill it be snowing? A nd the answer is nope... R esigned to our winter M erry Christmas to all E ven though it won't snow R eally have a sn…
Bloody silly Mayans And their apocalypse They must have all been smoking Substances that give you trips I took it all on board Built a bunker underground To keep me safe from Earth's destruction Fire and brimstone all around I stocked it t…
I have a friend in Egypt And it seems we're in dispute About the sound of a heartbreak Can it be heard or is it mute? Is it tempered on the Thames Or is it noisy on the Nile No matter what the sound It's not a thing to make you smile Did…
An early Xmas present! He won't be here tomorrow I'll wave him off tonight And feel no pang of sorrow It's just a quiet life A bit of solitude I seek But he's been a royal pain All. Bloody. Week. Last day at work tomorrow And I'll be h…
What's the sound of heartbreak? Is it quiet or is it loud? Does your percussionist vacate When no further love's allowed? Is it like the final whistle That signifies the game is done Is it the rattle of an engine That upon empty used to ru…
T hough you've really had enough, there's always room for more U ndo your belt and trousers so your gut rests on the floor R eally all you want is some booze to drown the flavour K indly throw the thing away. Turkey sarnie? Do me a f…
How can I help you today? Assault rifles? Yessiree! They're on special offer Buy one get one free! They're flying off the shelves And ideal for home defence But that's not why you want one When will you all see sense? You claim the constit…
Here I stand upon the sand Holding my guardian angel's hand I don't know her name but I'm sure she knows mine And I'm glad she's come down here for a time I can feel cool water around my feet What a beautiful place for two people to meet T…
Who'd ever know We'd come this far Our footsteps seemed Encased in tar Each with a wound And fresh laid scar It seemed forbidden They tried to bar Together, equal, on a par Stronger now, nothing can mar Hear these words Know what you are M…
Tomorrow, won't you wait for me? Show me things I need to see Or are you just another day With nothing really new to say To know tomorrow, to have a notion Of a future constantly in motion Would be cheating at the game we play When there's…
The powers that be Can go away Been taken for A fool today The only reason That I'll stay Is that your money Paves my way Expect too much For what you pay That's just how You like to play But you won't win I'm glad to say Thus ends A reall…
When I was younger I had the chance To visit the South of France For me at seventeen Europe was unseen So with my first big pay advance... I think I'll leave out the coach trip And the girl in my lap -ahem- 'akip' A private delight As we d…
To write a classic Christmas song? I listen to the oldies They've been around so long 'Now That's What I Call Christmas' Is re-released each year Brand new Crimbo wrapping But the same old songs, I fear Singers long retired or dead God bles…
And a beginning's the end As you see, chapter one.
They'd built a man, no flesh, no bone Cast him into our world, alone Seeking answers none could give What is my purpose? Why do I live? His confusion and his anger grew Wasn't he a man like me and you? He turned on us, freed from his cage A…
WARNING: Toilet humour ahoy... Yesterday she asked of me Where to go for dinner? How about the carvery? A cheap and cheerful winner So off we set with good intent To sate our hunger's need The smell of it was heaven sent I was overcome by …
Went out and proved I ain't no slacker Pulled myself a Christmas cracker I could feel my knees a-knocking A sexy glimpse of Christmas stocking Took her home to get to see Just what she had wrapped up for me Pressies galore, a lucky boy I g…
K ept fresh until it's found E ach and every morning S nowflakes start to disappear T hey go without a warning O r a by your leave I fear R eally they go nowhere E very one goes to the store where, instead of melting, they live for evermo…
A is for advent, the time of year B is for bells and boxes of beer C for the carols of mangers and stables D for drinking yourself under the table E for the excitement Christmas brings F is for FIVE GOLD RINGS... G for the goose that you ma…
You're feeling jolly Tinsel, tree And mistletoe Mask a heart As cold as snow Through the tears Relief is sought From the note The grief it brought Decorate To hide the pains Of a heart now bound In paper chains
Captain Scarlet and Captain Black Were having a quick fag out the back When along came Captain Blue Said, 'Hello duckies, how are you?' They shared a hug and had a 'mwah' The campest puppetry by far Blue then took his trousers down And they…
please ring for me...
And it wasn't there Yesterday It flowered this morning Until now, unseen It's multicoloured With hints of green It's like a tattoo But a shapeless mess I've got one of those This don't hurt any less A splatter of colour At the top of my a…
Looking for Xmas pressies online? Not sure where to get 'em from? Purse strings as tight as a chickens arse? Welcome to Scroogle.com! For the discerning tightwad We've perfumes at less than half price They're packaged to look like the real …
Have you ever known a feeling true Do you just drift in shades of blue Give it all up for something new Do you have the strength to see it through An empty promise is holding you... Is that true? Do you know e…
Just been called a 'responsible person', though I'm not sure what that means Coming from the powers that be it won't amount to a hill of beans If you're saying I do a good job, that's what I set out to do But if you're talking torqueing nut…
I can still remember The winter suns ray Lighting your face On that Christmas Day I took your coat Knew something was wrong You nervously smiled Said you couldn't stay long Exchanging gifts As tradition dictates We didn't have any We'd lef…
My my! It's pretty chilly The frost is thick and hard The vista from my doorway Looks just like a Christmas card Unseasonable weather? Is it off the scale, the page? The weathermen will tell you To prepare for an ice age A time of wind and…
I t's lonely and bored S easonally forgotten T ragically ignored L overs are found E nding their fright T easingly dangled O n a Silent Night E nd its boredom K indly remember I t'll be available S ometime in December S exy long snogs E …
The time has come, the walrus said.... Yup, it's results time. Not many pieces to choose from, maybe the words were a lil' bit tricky, but hey, that's what makes it a challenge, no? Right, to business... In 3rd place, @sjw with 'Hidden'…
There's this bloke on Opuss who'll make you laugh Just don't ask what he did in the bath He writes in his garden where he keeps a bug And he loved the 90's. What a mug... He'd be the PM if he had his way It'd be a Pigs Ear, I'm sorry to say…
Ladies and gents, a quick reminder for the #10wordchallenge. Anyone thinking of entering should shake a leg, because I'll be announcing at around 3pm today. Here are the words again; 1. Ring 2. Glass 3. Pot 4. Chart 5. Predict 6. Bag 7. …
There's a sliver of the moon Hanging in the dark A mile wide night sky papercut Bleeds black and leaves a mark We call it a crescent It's a hammock for a star When it's feeling weary Of whizzing, shooting near and far I wonder what would …
. ___ /• . •\ \_^_/ >----- /====\ / . \ | . | \_____/ -----< …
Ok here we go! Thanks to @burrahobbit for choosing my piece as the winner. So the challenge is to use the ten words I've selected in any way and any order you like, story, poem, whatever. Here's the list... 1. Ring 2. Glass 3. Pot 4. Ch…
Deep in the dark It must have gone three For the telly's turned off Automatically Three would be fine Four'd be alright I hate waking up Halfway through the night I can hear the thing ticking I daren't look though It may tell me somethin…
All of the Christmas tree decs Knew that the fairy would cry When she came out of her box To view Yuletide from up on high She was the piece de resistance It was the same for many years All the presents and tree decorations Got soaked in f…
Only when the time is right And deep inside the darkest night When the temperature is low Does he come out to say hello He's only small and very slim Blue in colour, spindly limbed And when it's cold enough to freeze He'll cast his spell o…
Don't want to be caught napping She is dressed In silky best And says she needs unwrapping Feel your way With fingerplay A white Christmas is here Definitely hot Poor Santa's not He only comes once a year...
And said, 'Hey, I'm pregnant! Wouldn't you know... But I don't know who the father is' Immaculate conception? You're taking the piss But they'd been here before and he loved Mary so Even if she was the dirtiest ho So he picked up the phone,…
'I'll protect you from the hooded claw Keep the vampires from your door...' I've been filling up my phone With so many tunes, it's started to groan 80's stuff, 12 inches, extended I wish that format had never ended 'I believe, I believe, …
What's the point in having a brain if I'm not allowed to use it? Why let me form a plan, then pull rank and just abuse it? What's the point of being 'in charge' when you clearly do not trust They say it's good to talk, so there's no need to…
It is one thing to be strong. It is quite another to know just how strong you need to be...
A true story. Mickey was a randy git I knew from my old pub If a girl walked in the door his hands would join and start to rub He knew he was good looking and his head would sometimes swell His hair was 80's highlights, he had a Pontiac a…
She couldn't resist the pull, the lure As she pulled on her dancing shoes A brassy bossanova cure To soothe the midnight blues A window of opportunity, to adore To look upon her and admire She danced to own and burn the floor To set the thi…
Whiskercat, whiskercat, where have you been? I went over to Opuss to check out the scene Whiskercat, whiskercat, what did you find? I pissed people off and got a piece of their mind Whiskercat, whiskercat, what did you do? I wrote pieces of…
Oh! You've brought some hate Well done mate It's not a nice flavour So do us a favour Cram it back up yo'ass Try showing some class And leave it on the shelf Lest it be turned on yourself...
. _________ / R. I. P. \ / \ /Here doth lie \ | the #household | | Mother to many | …
And you'll see what's falling, as white as a dove A beautiful scene, pure crisp and bright Winter wonderland and a Christmas delight It's heavy and thick, the proper stuff Snow at Christmas? Can't get enough Yes, it's snowing in Essex today…
Ok folks here we go. I said I'd announce when I had enough pieces; I have, so I shall. Here goes... In 3rd place is Pat Dolan's piece Of a boy who likes climbing trees You set the pace But I'm afraid it's 3rd place So it's a bronze for P…
Opussians, I have a question for you Tell me what you think we should do Do you think the #household should carry on Or would it be better if it were gone? Judging it used to be a maddening chore Nowadays it's just a saddening bore! Only tw…
Do you know the shade between wrong and right Do you cleanse your soul at least once a night Do you see the beauty that lives within Do you know a heart that is free from sin Do you live a lifetime every day Do you feel the price is too muc…
I thought I'd take the car For a journey into town Gently pressed the pedal And now I'm upside down It wasn't a crash per se More a theatrical roll Only three wheels on the tarmac I was bound to lose control My motor's not that fast Wouldn'…
And he couldn't abort So now he is covered in plaster But he had a point to prove Though he could barely move He again tried the jump Came to earth with a bump And had to have a leg removed He said, 'Every dog has its day I'll try it a di…
Yup, it's still with us! Thanks to @carolsgregory for choosing my piece as her winner. Right then... Limerick time people! As many in a piece as you like, or just the one, I don't mind. You need a word, and considering the fights I've b…
Couldn't reach to turn off the light So she placed an ad for a guy Who stood about 6' high She didn't hang about She kicked the dwarves out Then a handsome stranger rode by Of course, she took him in And he looked at her with a grin Said…
My gift is only small but it'll mean so much To those who are hard at it, and cursed to work as such It's for when you need it most, when your body's tired and achin' And it'll make you smile unless I'm very much mistaken It's not just for…
I told you I'd been searching for an age old stocking filler The search has been exhausting, in fact it's been a killer But right now I'm so excited, I've had to wear a muzzle The search is at an end, leelee's gone and found his puzzle! The…
It didn't need a plug Or any batteries at all I'd woken in the morning (Santa was my mum) I'd usually join the others But this thing kept me on my bum It contained, I think, twelve pieces Blue, yellow, black and red The shapes began with C+…
I think it's all there On my Christmas list Can't think of anything I may have missed Peace and love For all mankind Easy to give But so hard to find And while we're at it An end to war Like the song says What's it good for? A snowy whit…
Every first of every twelfth We brave the Chelmsford cold I'd like to say we toast your health But we can't, if truth be told It's a day like any other But it's spent among the graves I come to support your mother As she cries the tears she…
Right you lovely people, time to announce. I'm a little early bit I'm watching Heat on Film4, so I don't care! Ok as tradition dictates... In 3rd, with My Rainbow Walls, is @sarahgamal In 2nd, with Colours For Our Night, is @sjw Sorry …
Morning each! Flagons of ale for @glen for choosing my piece as his winner. Either that or a Spurs season ticket, whichever is less valuable... Alrighty then, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to scribe a piece containing...…
Someone's been in my wardrobe And found me rubber suit I suppose she found it funny To play a prank so cute She's only gone and nicked it I really don't know why I know I said I hosed it But that was just a lie I forgot to clean it last tim…
What a lovely afternoon The sun low in the sky Trees coloured aflame As wispy clouds float gently by The tide has long departed Mud flats are revealed Waders pick for food Before the river bed's concealed The freshest crispy air Is a cool…
I have a 'friend' on Facebook who I very rarely see His information overload is way too much for me He seems to post each minute of each hour of each day I suppose it's just what happens when you don't come out to play And it's always total…
Looks like it'll be one of those days When I actually have to earn my pay Always the way, nightshift in the room You no pay attention, machine go BOOM No point grassing or giving up names But you get paid more to play video games Get that f…
Here's an age old recipe you may or may not know Not always very healthy but it may just help you grow Take a new born child and marinate with care Careful not to overcook, just be sure he knows you're there Season him with schooling, add a…
Lately when you write It makes me stop and think The things you're telling us Must be written in blue ink Do not get me wrong I love to read your art Your gifted way with words Would melt a granite heart Let me, for this moment Take you to …
The owl and the pussycat went to sea In a knackered old wooden boat They hadn't sailed more than a yard offshore When sea water splashed her fur coat 'All I wanted', she complained to the owl 'Was to catch me a fish for my dinner Now I'm so…
Bugle boy, bugle boy Won't you blow your horn? We've had the pleasure of a comment And of course some softcore porn Bugle boy, bugle boy We're all sharing the same feeling It must be hard to post When suspended from the ceiling Bugle boy, b…
Meet me at the station Make sure you are alone You shall know me by my shade And the smell of my cologne There we'll share a secret Perhaps a christian name Nothing else is needed In your sordid little game We've been here before We know e…
I wasn't looking for somewhere to WRITE It had been the longest time Since I put pen to paper And wrote a song, let alone a RHYME But trawling through the app store In amongst the 'featured' part It seemed to speak directly To my dormant wr…
Evening all! Time to announce... And in time honoured reverse order tradition - In 3rd place, @Burrfoot with Morning Ritual In 2nd place, @liberty with her war against the snooze button, Alarms But there can be only one, and that one sh…
Dreading mornings light and its bleep-bleep-bleep I wake before I should and I stumble to the loo I hope I'm only dreaming and it's really half past two I hopelessly attempt to recreate my sleepy state But all too soon it's bleep-bleep-blee…
Sorry I'm late people, the alarm clock...you know.... Hey there's an idea. Ok you have limited time, until 10pm tonight, to enter the household. And with that in mind, the word shall be... ALARM CLOCK Ok there it is, write what you will,…
It's kismet and it's karma and it's meant to be this way Our last breath, the eternal kiss, filled with love and lust The shockwave then took over and returned us to stardust...
It's all very well thanking Opuss On this, its first birthday And it would be rude not to Where else is there for our wordplay? But this one's for all at Seamonster The guys we rarely see Working hard behind the scenes To keep your Opuss fr…
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Alone Shouldn't moan You only complain When I'm there So why should I care Space In this place You wanted more Room to breathe Why should I leave Sound None to be found I keep my company While you're loud Within the crowd Bare Nothing ther…
There's only one light That's cursed by the night And it goes by the name Of the flickerflame Yellow and red Sometimes orange instead It looks out for you When you're tucked up in bed There are I wonder why's When a flickerflame dies Pant…
I was stood, frozen, facing the old ornate mirror, and too scared to open my eyes. It was quite dark in the room, but there'd been enough light for me to see the thing do its work, and even with my eyes closed in a vain attempt to block it…
There's a million micro drummers Playing rhythms in my head They've been there since I woke And they're staining my mood red Pills for paradiddles Make me feel like trash Every little movement's Like a giant cymbal crash They're making me …
I'll be glad when this week's over Glad when this one's done I'll be glad to see it's half past three And the weekend has begun I'm glad I'm in employment I couldn't do without But sometimes weeks like this one Make me want to scream and s…
To the tune of Away In A Manger... Away with a stranger In a big hotel bed At the works party You were out of your head She's blonde and she's bubbly And she's only eighteen But she had the best jubblies That you'd ever seen She was up f…
'Come with me', he said, 'and I'll take you to a place Where fear and pain and loneliness can gently be replaced You may well be on your knees, but I will help you stand All you have to do is come with me. Just take my hand. ' Death came p…
A truce a peace Some sweet release The blood on their hands Will drip dry And drain through the sands Of this ancient land Terror and fear Are the rulers here This time eight days Next time a year A temporary end to violence A strange and u…
I'm standing in a queue Stretching out in front of me She wants a skinny latte I only want some tea Been here for an age And I've only moved an inch From his charm offensive The barista doesn't flinch Good morning, can I help you? Can I tak…
BBTV45*+1 Wednesday 21 November 2012 Our evening listings 6.00 THE NEWS Interesting fact based program. Sport for the men at the end. Followed by National Weather 6.27 Regional Weather 6.28 Weather for your town 6.30 Weather for your…
'Juan Sheet', my arse...
How long before we hear the words 'Our smallest iPad yet' ? Now we have the Mini, there'll be a Micro, you can bet Coming soon, the NanoPad™, wear it on your wrist Sexy sleek and tiny. And it's Apple. Get the gist? To buy the latest iThing …
While you've been at play Reading stuff And writing sonnets all day Guess how I've whiled my day away? An awful job, yes, with Bob But this time it's not his fault It was our bi-annual honer assault! A honer leaves a surface so fine Oh but …
No less, no more Nothing fancy, no fuss Just a small post My 1000th Opuss.
Everything just stopped when the showman came to town No need for advertising, people flocked from miles around A charmer and magician, he knew a spell or two And if you crossed his palm he would sing a song for you He rolled up to a hamlet…
To what's not there A binding symbol Once shining and new A cold golden fragment Of me and you Where once it made me Stand so tall Feelings have faded There's none at all But I keep it safe If truth be told Doesn't mean much It's just old g…
Wanna write you a sonnet but I don't know where to start Too used to laughing at the things in my heart Every time I try I just doodle off the page I just annoy myself with a jealous fit of rage The pen sits in my hand but I'm afraid that'…
I've definitely seen Some septic green And other colours, quite unique What's gone down that bowl From my mouth and the other hole Is certainly not funny It's certainly runny And is really taking its toll Laid up for the day Wishing it w…
He'd heard of such a place His journey had been long Effort etched upon his face He'd grown sick within himself And too accustomed to the pain The race from which he came Truly deserved the lightning's rain He'd packed the smallest bag Fill…
Norwich. Known for nothing. Norwich. Where the mustard's made. Norwich. Not exactly legends. But today you made the grade United. Home of heroes. United. Theatre of dreams. United. What you weren't. You were pretty shit it seems Ok it…
@TheCodsPollocks There's a fella I know called Jim Must be feeling full to the brim 3 - 1 away? Great result today So I've written this ditty for him So who is it next time? Newcastle? You won't get a rhyme It'll be barmy Not to beat the…
It's a funny kind of day with the missus not around A birthday treat from work and she's gone to paint the town Not that I'm complaining for everybody needs some space But it will be strange for hours with only me about the place So what is…
Mr. HingAling Did you bring a thing To win a fair maids hand You don't need to sing Or a flashy ring To help her understand Your words ting and zing That's not everything Just listen to your peers You may be the king But she's the queen of…
To try to have the human touch Is a tricky thing indeed To try to help your fellow man Deep within his hour of need To ignore a hurtful taunt Is the hardest thing to do To think they're only human Just the same as me and you To try to unde…
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I've done a questionable thing You're not the only one my son, repentance earns your wings But Father you don't understand, not sure you heard me right That is why you're here my son, to confess your sin…
I don't know who wrote this, or where it came from. It was handed to me at work, I found it funny and thought I'd share. Enjoy... Once again this year, I've had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes. Please keep in your…
A misty morning has broken Can't see too much at all Streetlights turn the damp Into lampshades as it falls A dawn devoid of colour Predominantly grey Shadows black and blurred Are the order of the day Everything looks spooky A supernatural…
The luscious Ruby Dazzler was a stripper of repute And she spent her evenings dressed in her birthday suit She really was a beauty, best of 'em by a mile Ruby Dazzler took the stage wearing nothing but her smile Then life dealt her a wild c…
The last thing you need when you're ill Is relief in a Bob shaped pill I don't hate his guts But he's driving me nuts If only he'd keep his tongue still He talks about nothing but fishing And work. Which leaves me wishing That he'd leave …
() Light a candle | | Lift the gloom | | Place one inside | | Every room Pictures form In dancing flame Light, it's nature () …
Someday it'll be alright He'll be gone by morning's sight Removed and bleached by heavens light The day is sanitised and bright For shadow people there's only night...
Evening all... Results time, and five great pieces to choose from, thus rendering me unable to hand the competition over randomly. Dammit... Ok, to business... In 3rd place @Klaire with 'Dangerous Cake'. You made me want the cake... In …
WARNING: Not overly pleasant... Last night it was chips (I'd finished the others' too) So it came as no surprise That today I needed the loo I wasn't really desperate But I knew I had to go It wasn't for a stand up It was for, well...you …
Thank you, @liberty Seems I've won this time around I've got to pick a colour And that colour shall be BROWN... Story, poem, limerick Whatever you want to write But get 'em in quite sharpish By 10pm tonight Don't forget to tag it #colour An…
I'm a terrorist by proxy 'Cos it seems my taxes pay For rabble rousing preachers And their extended stay I work from dawn 'til dusk As quiet as a mouse I don't even earn enough For a five bedroomed house I'm feeling quite hard done by I'm f…
WARNING: Rude words. As if you couldn't tell... Bollocks to you Qatada Just pack a bag and leave No-one's gonna miss you Nobody's gonna grieve You've had a decent run But we've had enough of it You and your free lunches Paid for with benef…
As you trudge along the high street In your dog-eared Santa hat What you need's a super shop That'll sell you this and that Loads of bags from different stores And resentment on your face Why isn't there a shop That sells everything in one…
I wonder what's in store When we get home tonight She's already said I ain't cooking, right? Fair enough by me I like a takeaway But what's it gonna be? On this your special day How about a ruby? I'd have that in a trice But you've not go…
Morning all. DCI Spanx here, and I'm afraid I have another case of severe FFP (fashion faux pas) to report. An anonymous tip has led me to to Essex today, where it appears the most heinous crime had finally been reported. Here goes, but …
The next day in November needs a different kind of flower We've been remembering all weekend, not just the eleventh hour The number's closely guarded, and not to give too much away She'll be getting many golden cards at work throughout the …
Mummy what's that flower for? Mummy no-one's talking any more Mummy that man looks really sad Mummy has something happened, something bad? Mummy that man wiped his eyes Mummy you said daddies never cry Mummy let's get out of here Mummy is d…
Today is just like any other But not for me and my ghostly brothers Today we'll all look down on you And feel remembrance proud and true At our lofty barracks we'll dress in fine And hear your silence one more time Sad we had to die in war …
Inspired by The Road To Somewhere by @misslittleDHP The roads don't come with signposts The streets aren't paved with gold The shops aren't always open Despite what we've been told Remember roads aren't endless Try a new one if you dare Th…
Different writes for different days Early morning hangover haze A wonderful night went thru to morning Birthdays should come with a government warning Drunk a lot but didn't get slaughtered We had gotten properly watered And I don't rememb…
Ever tried to make the bed around a stubborn cat? He ain't gonna move because he's lazy and he's fat Resplendent and recumbent sprawled across your brand new quilt I'd wear protective clothing, lest your blood be spilt He'll jump up and ta…
I'm driving fast my speed's obscene Seventyeightyninety...more Nintetyeightonehundredandfour Streetlights yellow like the sun Whip and blur until they're one The road is true the road is straight Time then to accelerate... Wind rips wildly …
When you want to speak but you're too afraid When you can't understand the game they played When you haven't even done it wrong And the feeling stays around too long When it's all for nothing, gone to waste And sweetness leaves the sourest…
But I found myself by moonlight's side The faintest light by which to ride And of course there's no way back At night the crimson trail turns black A lonesome place without a soul A place where you will lose control A lack of life, a lack o…
Are you frustrated at everyday life? Bored with your job? Fed up with your boss? Need to sound off without any comeback? Ronco proudly presents... BOB-O-MATIC! Each new Bob™ is guaranteed to make you want to vent as soon as you open the …
Bob's been to the dentist His mouth's all swollen up Let's watch him drink his tea From a styrofoam cup...
She says she's feeling old but that's a load of bull You can't possibly be old with a life that is this full If we all act our age instead of what's in our head There wouldn't be any fun and we may as well be dead She's got two step (kinda)…
There was a little penguin Whose dream was to fly All the other birds do it Tell me, why can't I? He employed several methods He tried catapults and slings All he got for his efforts Were tired, aching wings His best friend came along And s…
On a night in November for sixty-odd years An old man would come and order two beers He'd only drink one, left the other alone Then he'd quietly leave and make his way home The barman was watching, he was new to the place But he could clear…
Following a wee chat with @eddie12309 Marital bliss or an iThat or iThis There's an app for that Conjugal rites by an iPad's lights Sure there's an app for that Want to write on your iThing tonight? There's definitely an app for that A ga…
Feeling a little bit rough today I'm not ill often, I have to say A cough and a splutter, a lovely sore throat Mouth feels all furry like it's wearing a coat Teeth seem covered in a film-like sheen And what I'm ejecting's a nice shade of gr…
Don't judge me Won't budge me A life to live don't begrudge me Do I shock thee? Enough to mock me Feel me free me unlock me Care for me Be there for me Carry out a running repair on me Don't deny me Stand by me You'll never know unless y…
Connie the conman thought it'd be funny To try and print some counterfeit money It'd make his retirement ever so sunny The ink was still wet and the Queen all runny He went to the bank to pay it all in Coolly and calmly he strolled within F…
. i am not sure if you're aware but I like to try this and that. this one's not so good Please keep it under youR …
I felt it go in. A strange sensation. Not painful, in fact it seemed to just glide in with no effort at all, but it was accompanied by the slightest sting. I felt it more as I took it back out. A small trickle of blood fell over the side …
Morning all! 3 entrants this time, all great limericks, thank you all. But, as a Spanish Scotsman once said, there can be only one... So in time honoured tradition... In 3rd place with '3 Quick Limericks' is @patdolan83 In 2nd place wi…
Misty morning footfalls are all that I can find A sign that you still tend to the garden in my mind The longest dew washed grass seems to part if you are near But now and again that dew will spring forth as single tear My feet are soaking …
The needle makes its hole Searing, burns the soul Lay back, just forget It's not quite here as yet Brain and body mush Here...comes...the...rush...
All that'll be left is a carpet of ash Following the biggest lightning flash Though our skin is as thick as an elephant's hide If you're reading this, it means we have died So, Dear Future, we've crashed and burned I'd love to see if our le…
It was a three wheelin' trike Five hundred horsepower Made onlookers go ROWR! And on Dickie's skid lid a spike Silver Lady was her name From her arse there issued forth flame If you had the bottle To give her full throttle She'd make all …
Thank you Sienna for choosing mine as your winning piece. So.... Let's hear what you've got to say about... SILVER Tag 'em #colour and me in the comments please. Oh one more thing, make 'em limericks please! I'll announce at around 10am t…
The weekend's just so different When they are around Naturally attention shifts To the extended family he's found I'm kinda getting used to All the racket, feet-unfriendly toys All the screaming and the tantrums Baby boys will be baby boys …
Smell it in the air A wheel and a rocket It's cold, so prepare Hands stuffed in your pocket Light the fuse, stand back The sky, starlit and black Is suddenly red and green A dazzle is seen Smoke drifts to where Fresh air had been A sulphur…
Played some cards last night And for once it turned out alright This morning I'm grinning With thirty quid winnings Did we all get a share? Well, not quite Our host, though on the gambling scene Turned out to be a bit green Betting too muc…
@glen I think you'll like this one We've gone and beat the gunners, son! No finer sight, I'm sure you'll agree Than Wenger flapping uncontrollably Grinning madly, just can't stop And it's happy days as we go top So we've done our bit, now i…
Super glue will do When you want to stick things fast But it's semi permanence And not really made to last How about some Special Brew? Now there's a thing of power But only if you want To lose your senses by the hour If you really need it…
Deal Bet Stakes Set Deal Brag It's in The bag Deal Win Rake It in Deal Lose More Booze! Deal Again Win When? Deal Bold Brag Fold Deal The cards Be on Your guard Deal I think I need A drink Yes I've won Not this time My son...
Footprints left upon the sand Where once you gently held my hand As Ooooo the ( ) sea \…
A true story... Cannot quite take in the sight That greeted me today The cat was banshee howling Out you go I say! That wasn't what he wanted It was too early to think He didn't want food either Perhaps he needs a drink Opened up the bath…
In the black all I see Dreams and false reality Into white garish light With no escape in sight In the red in the end There'll be no cash to spend Out of the blue surprise surprise! A sad cascade of lies Rub of the green cheat to win A holl…
Hear me speak when I'm allowed I am black I have roots And they're stronger than your boots I may be black but you're the fool When you kept me out of school I am black and I am good You hid your hate behind a hood I am black you don't care…
There's catherine wheels and rockets To light the night so black Seems someone's lit the fuse And it's time to stand well back A tiny indiscretion At least that's what he thought As cheap as knock off bangers In the firework box he bought …
When your mate gets out a photo Black & white wallet shot When you say 'What's that, a prawn?' Then you realise it's not When he tells you it's his baby And it's due sometime in May It's the sweetest little shellfish And it's a happy happ…
Open up the daytime Let's see what's in store Seriously chilly And puddles on the floor Intermittent wipers Try their best to stave the rain It's a sheet of liquid bubble wrap That pops time and again Water in my arches A kerbside tidal wav…
Just like to send thanks to @MelchiorJ13 for a fantastic #halloweenparty and for taking the time out to create a month's worth of ideas to inspire us all. I know a lot of you have dipped into his list and have found many a post as a result…
don't ask you will not understand now the liver just a sliver they'll find the rest dumped in a river next a bone from your pelvic zone a piece of you to call my own like a flood here comes your blood splashing spilling in the mud fingers t…
Yes that's what they call me But it's really only a living We all do something for money Just wish they'd be more forgiving The only thing I was ever good at Not much at school but not thick I'm in control of the path of my soul And now I …
Have you ever walked down the street And heard that little 'meow' Did you think ooo how exciting Or secretly think oh not now Then you realise it wasn't you And that you are not alone Look around in expectance And nobody's checking their p…
I'm at the point of sleep Yet I resist A grey mist Descends As my day ends The last cup of tea Circulates Inside of me Voices on the TV Swirl inside my head I can hear my bed Calling Oh I'm falling Into inky black No going back I hear yo…
@sjw @OdinsFist Picks phone up. Dials. 'Just phoning to tell you We're running late I know you said 7ish I'm really sorry mate It's a real dilemma I know, it's happened before Yes I'm ready Have been since half four We'll be quick as we …
Alice sits alone Gently weeping, on the floor The Cheshire Cat has gotten fat And doesn't smile any more The caterpillar seems To have emptied out his bong This Queen of Hearts has fits and starts When she's off the stuff too long Tweedled…
@Tiia From the other side, a companion for 'Does my bum look big in this?' Hair, jeans, shoes and a shirt Done while you're choosing a skirt 'Are you ready?' 'No I'm not' She's foundationing a tiny spot 'How about this one? How about tha…
'Twas a stormy night Lit by lightning's light When old man Black was killed They found him there At the foot of the stairs And saw his blood had been spilled Six suspects named And each of them blamed For the murder of their friend Hmm... L…
T he stage is set, it's ready A nd it's time to rock again T he Strolling Bones have been here ages I n fact, since 1810 O h, but I see you didn't realise N othing's quite normal here T here's no-one else invited O nly you and your worst f…
. _______ / R I P \ / \ /Here doth lie \ | Ernie Sellers | | Greatest of all | | Fortune tellers| | His f…
This is from The Addams Family. Not a quote, more a scene, with one of many gems from the brilliant Christina Ricci. Pugsley and Wednesday are selling lemonade outside the motel the family have been forced to live in... Girl Scout: Is th…
The island's morning colours Are green and gold and red Each a little signal Saying go back home to bed White obscures my sight I gently make my way Blinded by the headlight As the black sky turns to grey Roundabout has a moat Potholes fil…
I'm always reading and hearing the blues I don't really know what they are I know it's a colour and they write sad songs And I'll play them upon my guitar To apply a bright hue to your misery Does an injustice to the shade When it describes…
Clash of the titans Race for the top To lose today My mood will drop But this evening I wear a grin That's what happens When Utd win!
Don't fear, join us Nation impeached By a plague unleashed If there's strife In your life Come, be undead With us instead Like a needle we'll inject A thing that will infect Flesh will rot Die you will not Even if shot An apocalyptic lot Su…
Friday at nine And it's band time Small local place Where they're in yer face It would seem The barman's not keen He's a serial whiner In A minor Good whining key None finer We start We sing To everything Axeman making it cry Make it weep…
How to learn How not to burn Is not to fall When you call You disease me And release me But it costs It's not for free Play with fire A tripwire Underline The danger sign I'll take notice When you're mine Make mistakes Do what it takes He…
W hat is it you'll see? I f you chance a secret glance N eeding clarity D o feelings abstain? O r will old wounds reopen W indows to your pain?
As Hallowe'en approaches, one thing I know for sure This year I won't electrify the handle of my door I promise to join in and not pretend that I am out And I won't insult kids costumes if their parents aren't about I promise there'll be sw…
I summon thee demon, appear I say! I have the power within my hand To spread your terror throughout the land The Nail, Devil, Desolate One Come from the dark to blacken the sun The book is open. But what's this I see? For demons turn to pa…
I think you all know Bob He must seem like an old friend But if you knew him like I do You'd be at your wits end Imagine, if you will The deepest baritone Now imagine what it sounds like When he whinges whines and moans Our Bob is mutton …
Like if you like Don't if you don't The simplest of choices You will or you won't Poems or stories Or something to sing A host of one-liners If climbing's your thing Personally I like Pieces that rhyme Crafted, created Invested with time I…
I hope it's worth the price I paid My soul, the princely sum Be afraid. Be very afraid And with this grimoire unlocked The victory so much sweeter They'll wish they hadn't knocked I'll have those Trick or Treaters!
@sjw Don't think you can threaten me with Bob I deal with him every day in my job! But I'm not here to tease, I apologise Truly sincerely I tell you no lies But it seems to me when a spider appears There's no need for irrational fears You'…
Right from the start I believed in your heart We were hardly apart It seems time won't tell If a rebellious swell Brings dreaded farewell All is lost, I am sure Cannot be like before I can't give any more It's a cold, empty bed When the col…
WARNING: Contains one use of the word 'fuck.' Oh. Make that two... Make me sing Make me scream Make me dare Make me dream Make it good Make it bad Make it the best I've ever had Lift me up Shoot me down Make me happy Make me frown Tell a …
Walk on shells tonight Can't do right tonight It's so absurd There's barely a word Being said Two curled fists tonight Cursed your name alright There was no need To make those thoughts bleed In your head We always knew We're not perfect …
I'm going to a party And I'll dress accordingly It being Hallowe'en Hate to disappoint, you see My costume is authentic Passed down throughout the years It represents a legend And it crystallises fears The cape, the cowl, the accent It's al…
In the midst of the mist There are fuzzy felt shapes Juicy green carpets Battleship landscapes Each watery wave Distorts anew My petrol coloured Point of view Gossamer tripwires Spun through the night Collecting the damp In the half daylig…
A visit from new customers Really is a pain Strolling around like deities Never to be seen again Trussed up in Lecter boiler suit Gets me hot real fast With PPE all over me Can't wait 'til this one's passed I guess they think that Aston Mar…
She'd have to finish soon Else her strength would start to ebb Sitting proudly in the centre Of her freshly finished home Took the weight from her feet, all eight To wait for lunch to come It wasn't food that came along It was a little boy…
Excuse my excitement, I have to say The postman's been around today And in among a load of things Usual rubbish the postie brings Was something in some bubble wrap For goodness sake what is this crap Opened it up to take a look Oh my goodne…
Stay Stay with me tonight Make it all alright Stay Make me strong Maybe not forever or for too long Stay Make me whole Jump start my soul All I need is you Chase away the blue Stay, make it feel new Stay Won't take much Just a gentle touc…
They get paid more Christ knows what for Responsibilities shirked While we're overworked They're free to roam 'Til it's time to go home In the same place we stay Every. Bloody. Day. All I can see Is you leaving it to me There's ash on the…
A shoe, whose owner'd been slain See, another fairy tale lass Had shoes that were made out of glass The lovely Cinderella Said goodnight to her fella Went home on her own, the dumbass... He was ready to take the next life And laying in w…
Go down to the churchyard Give it half a chance You may see the skeletons Doing a little dance They come up to the surface Through a system of holes But they don't dig 'em on their own They share them with the moles The dance is never done …
The night is young The street is dark Here is where I make my mark Check my make up In the glass My skirt's too short Just hides my ass Try to get A man's attention Just for half an hour's affection There goes Dave He sees me But he's with…
Breathe deep a gathering gloom Sunlight's leaving every room Bleeding through the nooks and cracks To be replaced by inky blacks The purple dusk has gone to ground For night to wrap its ams around Cold hearted orb has come to call Without i…
For when it's dark and cool Is when you'll be meeting a ghoul A horrible old creep Yellow eyes sunken deep And blackened lips covered in drool A little bit later on When your bravery has all gone A vampire appears And increases your fears …
Dear Dave Who is Keyser Soze? leelee101
Dear Dave I need your help! Can you please furnish me with tonight's winning lotto numbers, I'd be ever so grateful. leelee101
Late at night on Hallowe'en I sought advice from owls Wisest birds there's ever been I was looking for the party I had received my invite But with no address included I'd been searching half the night Owls, will you not help me I'm already…
How to know a vampire Is the lesson of the day You won't need your crucifix So let's throw that away Garlic, Holy Water They won't be doing much You'll find out for yourself If you surrender to his touch He may look a little dated Wears the…
Seems my television ain't just telly anymore Whatever happened to having good old 1,2,3 & 4 Remember trying to tune a 28" cathode ray? Not far from rocket science and it took all bloody day I can still recall getting up to change the channe…
There's a party going on Starting at midnight It's a ball for Hallowe'en Here's your cordial invite I think you know the dress code It'll need a spooky touch Cobwebs and a splash of blood A little, not too much Music from The Strolling Bone…
Inspired by @sleepydragon's 'Auschwitz' Torn from their men A husband or child Screaming their losses Eyes wide and wild Weathered and withered In black and white stripes Given a star One for each of their type Branded by monsters Number f…
That's never seen Toys, not electronic Educate kids And vinyl returns Before hitting the skids The tide turns in favour Of the desperate folk They all win lifes lotto And are no longer broke There's love and sunshine A soulmate for all So I…
I'm afraid that I must Leave you in my dust For I do not heed The limits on speed I don't really care If you're even there Check out my curves As I cause you to swerve It's a joy and a perk Of driving a Merc Just look at me go! Past your F…
Make sure you're prepared As I commune with the dead Close your eyes tight As out of the gloom Malevolent spirits Come into the room Don't say a word Don't try to see They'll talk to you But they'll do it through me Try to keep secrets I h…
Dear DaveDave16 I find that I have to work. This is a massive inconvenience to everything. Help. leelee101
Ok it's a little early. But never mind. Only two entries, from Pat and Eddie...Pat and Eddie...sounds like a Victoria Wood sitcom... I digress. Who to choose? Loved the bells, but as a Scottish Spaniard once said, 'There can be only one..…
Being Hallowe'en I thought I'd get myself a lass One I didn't need to drug with a modicum of class No candidate came forth so I checked within my feed And I scoured all of Opussia for the body parts I'd need I started with the basics, I sta…
Sharp as knives, blunt as bricks Use 'em well to get some kicks Make you laugh, make you cry Lay you low or get you high Used each day without a thought Seriously or just for sport Really good for mood enhancing Used by lovers for romancing…
There's a blank space replacing your face You sold your story well You kept a pace, ahead of the race Let's see where now you dwell Your methods base, barely a trace Since the chiming of the bell You've no true grace, take your rightful pla…
Thank you @eddie12309 for choosing 'Roam' as your winner. Many challenges going on at the moment so appropriate or not as it may be, the new phrase will be 'Death Knell' So choose your words carefully and pack 'em into an 8 line piece, tag…
Come closer child, don't be scared Though I'm green faced and raven haired Bony fingers, pointy hat I'm sure that you can see past that You come upon a special night At twelve my sisters will take flight But before that I must teach you To …
The doorstep is cold And so is the tea For it's been a while Since you sat with me Seems we've not spoken For some length of time So I thought I would add To a certain rhyme I've had a few highs I know you've had lows Let's boil up a kettle…
They strung me high up in the sky Depressing, for I never could fly If I cut my cords to try and learn I'll fall to ground, to crash and burn Ever since the fateful day I asked for wings, none came my way Up here with us, your resting place…
Where today shall my mind roam? The lights are on but no-one's home Off to the place of soft delight Meticulously crafted to read at night Maybe urban, gritty and real Or a catalogue of things I feel Hot and spicy to raise the roof Spew for…
He'll smash all the walls I've built A jealous demon coloured green He has powers yet unseen There's a couple on my shoulder For when I'm shy or feeling bolder One is red, one has halo Which to heed I never know Demons occupy my head When I…
Today really isn't going well We've entered the realm of 'what the hell' Nobody actually seems to know How to get the thing to go! Trying this and trying that Pull a rabbit from my hat Can't get out of this mess they made But never mind, I'…
Nothing is running Production's not stunning Repairs taking ages So I've cleaned all my gauges A bit of a mess I expected no less I wasn't away long But everything's gone wrong! There's a Polish man Doing all he can He knows his stuff Does…
From October heat To cold hands and feet From 90 all day To barely a ray From theme park To gloomy and dark From holiday To now you must pay! Back to the grind I don't really mind Back to the job Oh yes...and Bob... Back from the sun But i…
This one's slightly different For it's designed to scare How about an aperitif A little something to drink In keeping with the theme A Bloody Mary I should think Starting with the starters A slice of pumpkin pie It simply is to die for Why …
Once you've passed your setting sun When at last you're ready A different world awaits The headstones have the guest list With so many different fates The obligatory yew tree Hangs and lends its shade Yes you're in the graveyard With the st…
Down among the dead A place I sometimes go Even though I'm only visiting And there's no-one here I know I come here for the solitude And peace I gain herein To listen to the voices Carried softly by the wind They tell me of their stories Ta…
It's really just a number Or is it something more? Is it really that unlucky To have it on your door Is it really all that bad To have one more than twelve Is there really something in it Depends how far you delve Is it really hocus pocus T…
The party's up and running But what's that bloody row? The dusty stage, once empty Has a band upon it now They're not the regular sort They play blacks instead of blues They can't even play 'live' They are dead, if you need clues Their name…
I'm never on my own And they're never quiet In fact they make a row So I'll keep the closet closed And keep 'em quiet for now...
Red is for angry I am leaving you see Have to say I'm green All the arrivals I've seen But I'm not too down Because I am brown Soon be near you I'll be back, not black And not too blue
I'm down and dirty I ain't got no class I thirst for it I want it now I don't care where I don't care how I want your blood I want to feast I am a monster I am a beast I need to drink I need your life I use my teeth I don't need a knife I…
Who? What? Why? How? Where to Look now? Left, right Up, down They're all Over town They're far They're near Everywhere I fear In the dark In the light By the day By the night All my demons Not quite dead Or is it All in my head?
Curse my competitive nature It was only a water slide Over in less than 8 seconds Quite a rapid ride I'm afraid that wasn't all To be the quickest that had rid Did I post the fastest time? Of course I bloody did...
Folk say I'm mad I think that's quite sad But I'm grinning from ear to ear My cell's coloured red and blue And there's enough room for you So come through the door Take your leave from the floor And swing from my chandelier too
Stay with the old? Try something new If you were here Would we take a chance Wait for the rain Then go and dance If you were here Would we shun the rest Ignore what they say And hope for the best If you were here Would you let it go Would …
Three blue men Bald blue men See how they drum Hear how they thrum They're making percussion on plastic pipes A fantastic explosion of sound and light Mostly in colour some black and white These three blue men These three guys Ever a surpr…
Expensive hair-do's Cackling hags With designer bags To cross their gate Brings an awful fate For their home cooking Ain't that great To the shopping centre For their supplies With knock off shades Wrapped round their eyes An eye of newt? …
1939 Hotel Hollywood A deco masterpiece Home to bad and good 12 storeys of decadence A star in its own right Now in disrepair What happened on that night? A wild and stormy night A star had come to stay An elevator ride Lightning was at pl…
I was lucky. I'd managed to pull the nose up slightly so the infernal thing skimmed along the street before crashing into and up the steps of the cathedral. I knew it wasn't ready, but he'd forced my hand, and I'd had to use it. Don't thi…
Nature's lightshow's come to town An electric sky is all around The darkest tempest, the fattest rain Clouds are plugged into the main A sudden flash has come my way Makes night brighter than the day Forks reach down and touch the earth …
There's a bahama breeze Tickling the trees A mojito or two For me and you Steel drums playing Palms are swaying All this tonight By candlelight Island feeling flows And later...who knows...
Oh ok so there's storms today Not fussed at all, I'm off to the mall The size of a state, and the shopping's great And I cannot berate the exchange rate It'll be quiet and cool with the kids in school It's rather fantastic though I fear for…
Uncle Walt does Hallowe'en The likes of which I've never seen Mickey pumpkins everywhere And sure, the magic's in the air But something doesn't seem quite right As I walked along Maine St. last night Mickey, Donald, Goofy - check It rained …
It's the ghost of you That I have seen It's everywhere That I have been What is it That I should do It occupies A space for two Should I say Goodbye to all Just because You've come to call Fill the me shaped Hole you bring Call a halt …
Welcome to a place of Death Be sure you've breathed your final breath A netherworld you'll never know A darkened realm where you will go When you find your time is done Just underneath the setting sun Feel a chill upon your bones Know then,…
Just got back from Epcot Entertaining it was not Sell your eco message to me While using so much electricity The 'countries' were a joke A succession of BBQ's run by some bloke Michael Jackson from 1986 High time the 3d got a fix At least t…
My trip has turned a different page An 80's legend takes the stage No more painted face, glasses instead And a Napoleon hat upon his head But the braided jacket of the Hussars Has returned from the time he was a star Lots of B-sides and e…
And his jacket doesn't fit Sleeps under cardboard blankets But that's his choice isn't it? Maybe not, because Tom's wife Had driven him half mad And to drive along her tollroad She took everything he had But she left Tom his finest And he …
Now it's all too real You've made the call And you've taken the fall They say 'thanks' They don't care at all Just like the season Leaves fall for a reason Maybe you'd learn more If you looked at the floor And saw the footprints Leading o…
I'm on the 10th floor I can see all Of Florida and more A sprawling vista in the light The brightest neon show at night Taxi bikes hustle Amid the bustle Politeness, 'You're Welcome' Everywhere, and then some It may be the tourist trail Bu…
When I lay my head On any other bed And try to hit the sack Goodness me my back Awake for half the night Trying to win a fight Stave away the pain But it'll be back again And oh look! Bloody hell She's nicked the quilt as well So back's ma…
. ___________ * * * * * * * * * * ___________ * * * * * * * * * ___________ * * * * * * * * * *___________ ____________________ ____________________ ____________________ ____________________ Ok that's the last wind…
Won't miss the English weather The wind and rain and such I'm up for fun in the stateside sun Can't wait to feel its touch Won't miss the daily grind No I won't miss the job One thing I'm looking forward to Is two weeks without Bob Won't mi…
They're not sure when And they're not sure how You'll need your factor one million Panic buying starts now Make sure your table's big enough For the family to hide Assume the crash position It'll be a bumpy ride Stock up on tinned food And …
. onedayto goonedayto goonedaytogo onedayto gooneday togo one …
Could you spare a dime? I don't remember eatin' For the longest time I told him that I didn't But today he was in luck I hadn't any change But I could spare a buck He wasn't asking for my wallet This drifter's in a spot He needs it more tha…
Will you guide me Be beside me When it's too much With a gentle touch Will you show The way to go Believe in me Don't be leaving me We have the stuff We're strong enough I'll break our fall If they come to call They've nothing left to throw…
It's one of those days Monday and its ways Bob's on fine form But that's just the norm Nothing I try To make the day go by Is working, my friends Can't wait 'til it ends Everything's bust And covered in rust It's all such a pain To top it a…
It's my friend, Mr. Grey Said Mr. Blue Sky Dropping off rain As he rolls on by You'll have to accept That autumn is here And you won't see much From me I fear Grey said, I'm afraid Mr. Blue Sky is right I'll be here all day And I'm in for …
I've had a bit too much Of booze and food and such Now I find I am consigned To Monday morning's touch Hope it don't last long Just feel oh so wrong My body's saying For Sunday you're paying I'm gonna have to be strong It's all coming ba…
It's time to go Time is fleeting So stop your bleating All I ask is a minute The quilt, with me in it Instead of the cold And the same old, same old First thing in the morning I should heed your warning As you chime and blare I curse and s…
Just got back from dinner I've had quite a lot to drink Bloody great main Cheesecake dessert Wonder if it's affected my poetry skills.....
Done all my jobs Now I am hungry So we're all off To the carvery I'll be on the beer Not out of my head Then home for a film And some afternoon zzzz's
And you're there throughout the day I want to tell you something And this seems the proper way Hope you're jumping with excitement Just had to drop you a line To wish you Happy Birthday @eddie12309 ☕☕☕
He'd laugh and say 'That was a beauty!' One day a tomato went down This one caused more than a frown With hands on hips He farted out pips There were injuries all over town After eating a banana so yellow The smell wasn't overly mellow He…
. A dew drop's natures little tear Where the morning's cried I fear But they're dried by half past ten To make …
Won't you walk these roads with me I'll share with you the things I see The price is high for nothing's free Cost your soul accordingly There'll be some trash along the way That won't be tidied up today No-one to tell not much to say Emotio…
i'll take my time when i write a rhyme i'll meander and flow and just let it all go only then when it's right be it day be it night i will then share with those that care i may now be ramblin' i …
Quiet. Not a word Nothing Can be heard Silence Surrounds No voices No sounds Maybe I think We've run out of ink Perhaps You will Return With new quill I won't push Until t…
There's a girl here today In a hi-viz jacket Ear plugs in To protect from the racket Clipboard? Check And a power suit You wear it well But I don't give a hoot Earplugs to me Are miserable things Can't even hear When my drills start to si…
#nature Sunrise new tips his hat to you Strikes a light to replace the night A chilly start shows sunlit art The cold gives way to a sunny day Autumn smiles will light for miles But twilights tune is called too soon Colours run with the se…
Pounce like a cat! Go climb a tree! Dance 'til you drop! And buzz like a bee! The whole world would Be a happier place If we did things like this With a s e on our face m l …
S ly Mr. Parker's probably seen O utwardly excused as odd D eep inside you're just a nosey sod
. i've only got six days to go just thought I would let you know what on earth …
Bloody hell! Can't wait 'til this one ends Looking at each other with a nervous grin At about this time stagefright sets in Curtain pulls back, our nerves are on show Ah what the hell! Get on stage, let's go! Opening chords and it's all go…
What's left to feel What's left to deal What is there for me here What is left is what I fear I have always known I fear to be alone I always liked flying I always fancied trying I'm about to take flight I am fearless tonight
Wasn't marvellous at all Stand back when Marvin comes to play Close shaves the order of the day On his final performance inside the big top Marvin shot skywards, and didn't stop Of Marvin, the circus is bereft His moustache the only thing t…
Talk to her Make her whole Just reach out to Soothe her soul It's all she'll need And ever ask Surely not Too hard a task
you're in charge I don't give two hoots but you're gonna have egg on your face cos I'm going to laugh when you trip on th at …
It's never necessary A life less ordinary Born with a jealous gene Green Suits you well My queen Words from a darkened heart Like a tiny poisoned dart Find their mark With unerring art And green My erstwhile favourite hue Now turned to bl…
That match. com A move that would seal his fate After spending long hours online He thought any of these would be fine There was one girl that cooked And another that looked Like a fella called Frankenstein There was one that was into cat…
To ignite our lovers' game We were blinded by desire Was it ordained from up above That we should meet Soulmates, something rare and sweet Blindly, we fell deep in love Upon each other we greedily fed Days and weeks passed by Abused the s…
That's what we are Beneath the skin games That don't get us far We take it to limits That no-one dare go It's all sugar coated And no-one must know Loving and hating Just become the same Take a hell of a hosepipe To put out our flame I won…
Right, pens down, it's time to choose a winner. And what a task I had. I asked for as much LOSS as you could pack into 12 lines or less and boy, you didn't disappoint! Loads of entries, and all of 'em quality, so no fighting, this is how I …
I'll be home in time for tea On my Chopper, ride for miles Get filthy dirty, biggest smiles No iThis or that for pointless talking Social networking done while walking A few years on, it's not the same All everybody wants is fame Grown up t…
Well, that really was unexpected. Thanks @ckahn for choosing my piece. Ok, what to choose.... I know. 12 lines or less (yes again) pack as much LOSS as you can into your piece. You have until 10pm tonight, after which I shall pick and an…
Down on the surface everyone's dead The end of days, my computer said Safe in my rocket, destination moon Termination is due, it's all over soon Got a ringside ticket to watch the show Remains to be seen which way it'll go First a few firew…
We are 96 strong We are dead, we did no wrong Gone these 23 years Now your chance to stem those tears The fight to clear our name Is won, a beautiful game A message is set in stone You'll Never Walk Alone For the 96 Hillsborough victims
Maybe he'd been around too long Perhaps his tales just weren't that strong He wasn't really the giving up type Did he think he couldn't match the hype Did he think the pieces that he wrote Were better burnt or cast afloat Could he disappear…
The night's about I've closed it out It's better in I have no doubt A place, my own My comfort zone TV, iPad Mobile phone There's only me And cup of tea Nice and quiet Nocturnally Shadows loom Around the room Darkness has me In its womb W…
Can't hear a sound Oh, what's this That I have found Your car keys That'll do me And your wallet Your money I try each night To get it right Rather you didn't Put up a fight Just give it here I'm on my way But no, you chose To die today Ca…
I know you can't love me I know you know pain But I'll take your forgiveness Before I'm gone again I know you don't know me But I think I know you For you are my blood And you're made like me too All I need is a word To say you might care J…
And now I've a rumbly tummy The noise coming from my pants Is like a herd of elephants Don't get too near You'll choke, I fear Or be lost in a methane trance Oh what's a fella to do? Think I'd best visit the loo The smell's getting stron…
At least that's what the wife says I put it down to getting old But it's not just that, or so I'm told Like when I caught a bus Oh my goodness, what a fuss! I may have missed my stop Only one or two...no need to strop! But she came and took…
You won't escape me Tall and flapping Upturned collar Can't be bought With pound or dollar I'll be there Thru darkest night I may well come In broad daylight To ignore me Is a game of fools Where I can bend Or break the rules I can be noi…
Ok folks here we go! Not many entries, my fault because I didn't give too much time, sorry about that. But the entries were all great, and definitely captured irritation. Ok..... In 3rd place, @glen with his return to all things green, Ju…
A rumble. Soft at first but growing louder, and quickly too. I turn. I see it. Wave upon wave of pristine ghostly white snow sliding toward me. I try to run, but I lose my footing on the slippery snowy ground. The inexorable advance of m…
My irritation's growing When Robert shows his face He stomps about and screams and shouts He thinks he owns the place! My irritation's showing For this irritant savant But annoyingly, frustratingly He does the things I can't Irritation isn'…
Woo hoo! A genuinely unexpected win, thanks @wolfie for reading the news! Right then, here we go.., In 10 or 12 lines, or less, insert maximum IRRITATION into your Opuss. You may include the word if you so wish. Now, it's my Mums birthday…
. waves are born far out at sea waves will sail you home to me but if the waves are rough and high, I guess I'll have to wave goodbye...
Inspired by @misslittleDHP's 'Doug' I sometimes get to thinking Of those I've left behind I feel the best place for them Is a recess in my mind A faded pack of polaroids The ghosts of girlfriends past They never did develop They just weren…
Things happened I couldn't believe Went up to get our next drink Someone had spiked 'em I think Singer off his face Bassist smashing the place The evening had started to sink Guitarist was sick on the floor And was 'escorted' to the door …
We're the Daily Euphoric! We've got the news! Blockbuster headlines to stave off those blues England win World Cup despite penalty misses! No more money, trade made in kisses! Free lottery! With guaranteed wins! Dustmen to clean and polish …
Let's take us To a place Where there's no need To race Your grace, your face A tender touch Is all we need It's never too much We flow, we're freed We embrace Let's lay back As the evening Turns to black You and I And the night sky Whirlin…
Life is like a picture frame Fill it up and sign your name But if the …
Don't spill it! It'll burn your hand Consistency of super glue Leave it alone if I were you Why not stick to 4.3 There's no need for such A.B.V. Comes in tins of gold and white Drunk by drunks most every night Only so much you can stand Ju…
I'm sure you remember I know that you know Now I'm much bigger D'ya still wanna go? I could easily take you Put you flat on your ass Give me some credit I do have some class I may have grown older But I'm wiser too Seems I was always Much …
An eye that's blacked A bag that's packed Mummy dear Don't leave me here But you are gone This life goes on Daddy is drinking Says what he's thinking Promises he won't please daddy don't...
At most. Write it Then post.
Avenge me, won't you Now I'm gone Keep alight What brightly shone You came to steal And take from me You never worked You expect it for free You've extinguished All my lights And now you claim Your human rights? As you're walking Free fr…
The price you pay as a sculptor's nude In essence you are very old Your touch will leave sensations cold Rough hewn rock to womans form You make cold hearts forever warm Lady Grey, so statuesque Your beauty could be arabesque I wonder who …
It's been eleven years you know I watched events unfold Thru a TV shop window No sound but so stark Images, pictures Scored my heart, burned their mark How could it have felt With your world on fire As the towers melt Some may try to unders…
Tap it, unwrap it See what you get An ocean of words That's uncharted as yet Write it, don't fight it See what you find Complex or simple It's all in your mind See it and free it A wave of emotion Some happy some sad But all born of devotio…
Sorry it's a bit late, but here we go.... Lots of lovely entries for this one. In 3rd place, with Snowflake Shop, is @naaviie In 2nd place, and this was a hard decision, with Snow, is @wolfie And your winner, with Ice Mistress, is @ckahn …
But it'll be a minute mess Yes it's pretty short Not very long at all This minute poem's minute It's really very small
'Will you sign my album please, John?' He signed it, and was gone. But the young man stuck around, for here was where Lennon could be found. In his pocket a gun, a shiny little one, but it would do, good for a shot or two. So he'd wait For…
It wasn't the weather That'd laid him low Just look at the table There's a trace of snow...
Use a line? Or something new You had your friend What's a guy to do? You said it took a while But in the end my crooked smile Was the thing that won you over And not my sense of style! I still remember you How it was when we were two That…
Ok, a bit surprised, but my thanks to @AWriterGirl for choosing my song as the winner. So, let's see.... Not overly easy for everybody to write songs, so let's just have an 8 line piece, with the key word being Snow. Ok good people of Op…
I'm mellow The sun is high Yellow And hot. Sober I'm not! But what a spot. Out on the boat Breezy No need for a coat Easy Food and drink Good company I think I may stay a while The sun's sinking slightly I smile The skipper tells tales M…
Please don't follow me You won't like where I go But if you still insist Some things you need to know The road is never lit Nothing can be seen You can't see too far forward And you can't see where you've been A trail that leads to nowhere …
MORE they shouted. MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!
And you'll also find a mess Occasionally a mood or two But mainly happiness Here you'll find some rabbits And many moggies too But I only have one pussycat Do the rest belong to you? Home has got three bedrooms And a bloody big TV An extens…
Won't you show Your chosen path With a ghostly glow Light the river A silver vein Until the daylight Makes it blue again Hung in darkness A velvet frame Change the colours 'Til they're the same Illuminate The passers by As you move across …
(Sunday morning) She can't stand the rain He stayed out all night And she's feeling the pain (Sunday morning) She says to herself Should I forgive Or be left on the shelf (Sunday morning) Should I wait for his call Or should I just say L…
Not long ago, I'd try to hide You've shown me what I had inside A second chance at shared romance That grew from just the barest glance The solid trust, where once was rust A winning hand that can't be bust Unbelievable to think My ground w…
Last night a kid with just one leg Did extraordinary things He's named after a bird And for ten seconds, he had wings With special blade for lower limb He set the track alight I'm sure the celebrations Lasted deep into the night And it wasn…
For it's all year long Must get to sorting This sneezing and snorting A cure to be seeking To stop eyes from leaking But today it seems I'm destined to stream Try to hold it at bay But I'll be breathless all day
'Would you like to dance?' I'm expecting 'No chance' But you're still standing there Thought you'd walk on You haven't gone anywhere The music is slow Lights are low Time to take your hand, and go Out onto the floor Nothing else Matters any…
Got home yesterday and the kids had run amok Christ are you still here? Can't help looking at the clock I think I'm showing symptoms. And if the truth be told I'm gonna have to face it, yes I think I'm getting old Everything's a racket, as …
Strong as I am I am but a ghost Strong as I am To those who love me most Strong as I am I see pictures of the dead Strong as I am With you inside my head Strong as I am I need to know the way Strong as I am You're thinking every day Strong …
If I gently take your hand As we walk beside the sea Natural graceful beauty Will you stay a while with me Here we'll watch an ocean Stirring softly with the sand We really could be anywhere But I'm in wonderland
I'd had my first girlfriend She was a little delight I had my first fight I won it alright When I reached the age of twenty I had girlfriends, I had plenty It all seemed elementary Love took centre stage I got myself engaged A decade in a …
A little note for Johnny You've made a move that's bold Shacked up with the Sherpas In the freezing bloody cold You're on a journey, Johnny But keep this note in mind There's a pretty little thing That you have left behind We think she's a …
Vera Hose has got a mate Her name is Sweary Mary She's clothed in rags and carrier bags And her chin is red and hairy She shuffles daily down the street And if you pass her by She'll shout Gawd bless ya, Guv'nor Then Go forth and multiply H…
Joyous yet painful Respectful, disdainful Fabulous, dirty Flighty and flirty Usually forceful Thoughtful, remorseful Leaves you walking on air Or it can cause despair Blows hot and cold If you're young or you're old When it comes, you'll kn…
He'd scour the morning post For the next invite He knew the other luvvies A shining social star No clever conversation Just mwah and mwah and mwah He wore the finest clothes And expensive jewellery too He swam in circles high above The like…
Ladies, there's something you do And I've noticed it a lot You don't do it when it's cold But you do it when it's hot You're rolling up your sleeve And with a gathering pace Your hand flaps up and down And it's waving at your face! I'm not …
WARNING : RUDE! Probably not for young'uns... The clue is in the title... When your mind is blank And not thinking of much You're not even feeling That randy as such You can try to avoid it As hard as you like But that's when the Random er…
A single indiscretion's brought me To my fate You gave all and everything How did I repay With a swollen raw affection Someone else's way Intravenous poison coursing Through my veins Left a mark that won't come out The filthiest of stains M…
Cut back the grass Until there's no more Pack up your suitcase And deadbolt your door The green and blue Now brown and black There's nothing to do And there's no way back Pull out the plug Drain all the seas Turn down the wind 'Til it's bar…
W hy are you so blue? O vercast to all but you N othing like the sun D ownpour on everyone E verytime I try R eaching for the sky M alice comes along E verything I do is wrong N ever can you see T hat wondering is free so don't even try it…
Jalapeño chicken pasta You have made my heart beat faster You're meant to be my little lunch Jesus, what a monster munch! You all know I like the spice But I can't tell if this is nice Only just got past the burning Now for water I am yearn…
It's all been thrown at us We've got through with little fuss It's been a test, for sure Tragedy has beaten on our door Lessons we have learned Fingers crossed, but also burned Not always that great But we've been forged by fate We may not …
I wonder how I didn't see What was deep in your heart I take it that you're happy With the other man I wonder what he reckons To your staunch no marriage plan Don't worry, yes I'm happy And I've never looked back I could never win When th…
You make me laugh You make me smile You talk to me a little while You really are A loving friend My best to you I'll always send Some days when I'm feeling low There is a place where I can go I see your face And yet I feel It's a crying sh…
Night rolls in, the grandest stage The blackest scene from darkest page All is quiet, all is still A cloak that blankets all at will Coolness breathes its tender way A sightless temporary stay No stars tonight, just sheet of night Stretched…
Afternoon done end of the sun Time for evenings magic to be spun The blue of the day has gone away Claret and purple are holding sway Warm and swollen the start of the night Shadows are swirling inside the half light The coolness of dark w…
It's nothing time just for a while The empty space you fill with a smile So float along Let it go It'll be done Before you know I choose the changing fading light And the onrushing maroon twilight...
What's all that about? An older word for brunch Have a bigger breakfast To see you through 'til lunch And what will you have Cup of tea? Slice of cake? Fail to see the point For all the difference it makes No need getting flustered Or all i…
Sun is up, it's the sky Morning's twinkle in my eye Spot of breakfast, cup of tea Now let's see what I can see Pretty messy from last night Comes into view with dawns light Quickly sweep the kitchen floor There'll be other jobs, of that I'…
Of where it's been The morning walkers Exercise All the others Will soon arise That blessed sleep Try for more When morning's Knocking at your door
To the tune of Monty Python's The Galaxy Song If you can handle life Its tribulations and its strife I guess you are a better man than me If you can take the pain And the stresses and the strain You are well equipped, it's plain to see If …
#passionpool™ As I went out walking, a girlie came my way A shock of bright pink hair, quite garish I must say She wasn't very pretty, she weren't exactly fit But Jesus bloody Christ she had awesome tits I could see the nips so I made a m…
Your birthday? Today? Fifty, you say? Don't worry, it's only a number Why not seal the deal Get drunk, have a meal Then finish by dancing the rumba It seems to me That reaching fifty Is a source of terror and dread While the number is real …
The Passion Pool™ is open And it will be every night Admission here is free With every saucy piece you write There's beer and wine aplenty It's more fun than a prom @RichWithey makes the bubbles Just don't ask where from... @misslittleDHP D…
Just like to take the time to send a big thank you to @GeorginaMay for her wonderful creation. I know many Opussians have taken inspiration from the fantastic list of words she chose, myself included, and many brilliant pieces have been pos…
I bought you flowers. They're in the bin Since when was 'happy' a mortal sin What about 'nice', and where is your smile? Haven't seen them around here for a while Perhaps it's the sex. Perhaps it's not What once was cool is now not so hot T…
Oh look! Here's somebody That I ain't seen for a while Oh yes, it's the treesnail His return has made me smile Hello Mr. Treesnail I did politely say Just say something nice for once And I'll be on my way He looked at me and sighed For he w…
Attack! Attack! Attack! Was all you ever did But you couldn't take it back In fact you ran and hid Your claws were at their sharpest When you dug them into me I kept telling you to leave it But you wouldn't let it be Every day, a fresher pa…
You can't help but grin Your iPhone goes 'meow' Something for you within So you open up your Opuss Can't contain your glee The heart's gone up by one Someone's liking me! And while you're there, a repost The icing on the cake Makes the effo…
I wanna be inspired By the things that I can't see What you have on show And the bits you keep from me Inspire me with the places Where the sun don't usually shine For it is my intention To make inspiration mine So get 'em out! Let 'em loo…
O ver time, you'll start to learn R eality is where you burn S o from my surface, stay away unless you want the truth today...
So tell me lies! Don't give me proof Mirror You have shown me, old As you stare, lifeless Black and cold Mirror, fragile Yet so strong You held me captive For so long For in reflections Deepest glare I know there is Nobody there Mirror Your…
They've all had their injections They all should be immune But for the eighth arrival Deaths spectre calls the tune The bastard of diseases A vicious, nasty thing Time, then, for the final jab To end her suffering Now stands an empty pen H…
Destiny's course begun His single room, desolate tomb Was heading for the sun Calmness them took over As his rocket hurled through space And nebulae passed softly He'd accept his fate with grace One last shot at redemption His computer was…
This, the first and last time The best you'll get from me Get ready for the verdict A choice for you, from me I knew you had it in you I knew full well you could I knew that you played games Turns out you're pretty good But you're up agains…
The 'Bowl', or style of walking Applies to everyone Matching 'bowling' to its owner Can be a lot of fun My favourite is the 'fruit bowl' Not too hard to spot Demonstrated by the wee man Trying to be something he's not Arms three feet from t…
Inspired by Kim's T.A.R.D.I.S. bag...that's Time And Relative Dimensions In Suede... 'My phone is ringing honey Can you see who it is?' What? Go in your handbag? Not my idea of bliss I cast my glance upon it Black leather yawning wide The…
That hereditary thing over which I've no control Not ready to admit that I'm ready for the knackers But I take so many pills, I'm sounding like maracas Another weekends excess has left me feeling zapped The current household challenge could…
The bad boy's a winner There's no use denying You could disagree But I reckon you're lying And the last four years Have been ever more naughty Believe you me Life begins at forty...
That'll sting your ass In the toilet you will take root I think it deserves a mention That all your good intentions Will go down the pan As quick as they can No use in having pretensions It cannot be the given way To exist on just 'five …
It's filled with colour and gadgets and things Chock full of the brim with what happy brings There's a dark corner Reserved for the sad With space for the good And some for the bad Plenty of rabbits And plenty of cats There's even a witch…
I'm off to the zoo So I won't be around But a piece of disturbing News I have found The zoo's in North Essex And having said that So's a loose lion An escapee big cat! Now I am not one To kick up a fuss And I don't want loose lions Attacki…
I'm standing at these crossroads So please don't make me wait Your head is filled with lies And your heart is fuelled by flame Don't think that I can't see The truth behind your game It's really rather strange I could have helped you out Bu…
# household I own a giant fish tank And sometimes, just for a prank I invite loads of women To do naked swimming But first they must walk the plank But, before they do I tell them to go to the loo I tell you I've seen The water turn green…
'You dirty bastard! Now get out of my pub, before I bloody well throw you out!' The door to the Ten Bells swung open, and Inspector Frederick Abberline suddenly found himself in the cold, wet air of the East End of London, in October, 1888.…
Oh the untold dangers Of a room that is full of strangers I drink, to place the steel Against this terror that I feel Surely it can't be too hard Chip at my shell, take a shard Ah! Somebody I know! You're already talking though... I'll lead…
I don't mind when you're out And you give me a shout To come and get you and your mate You left me alone At home on my own It was downtime, in fact it was great So don't have a go If I don't wanna know And I just wanna sit and be cool I wor…
To the tune of The Sound of Silence Is it a death or gangland dare That's brought this evenings wailing blare Has there been a fatal accident Do the cops know where that stolen car went Has the corner convenience store Been robbed again By…
You wouldn't dare Now that I'm gone You really don't care But you seem to forget You're not too strong Better watch out For before long If you carry on dancing You may not see The one to be buried Is you. Not me...
Afternoon everybody! Time for the username challenge results. Not too many entrants this time, but everyone met the criteria with style and with lovely pieces. So, without further ado... In 3rd place, @Burrfoot with, erm, Burrfoot In 2nd …
I'm afraid that's what we are And there's no escape We come from near and far We have come for payment You owe the night time's debt Your member's fee is due And your existence under threat You'll need to let us in When we come for you We'…
Dream all day and all of the night Dream of dreams I've had Some dreams are nice and make me smile Other dreams are bad I dream of fantastic creatures Of lilting lyrics too But the bestest dreams I ever dream Are the dreams I dream of you..…
What's in a name? Not much you see Mine's pretty simple People call me LeeLee A little bit naughty I've got enough sauce Late night ketchup? Par for the course With me, what you see Is just what you get Just talk to me That's your best bet…
Evening all! Firstly my thanks to @eddie12309 for choosing 'Gloom' as her winner. Secondly my thanks to her son, the dirty toothed Alex, for choosing 'fish...' as his winner. Ok here we go...What's in a name? Not much, you may think, but…
Ah...Bank Holiday! You know what's coming...that's right! Raining, all the way...
Alex! Get upstairs! And clean those grimy teeth Your mother's told us all And it's just beyond belief They're yellow and they're dirty There's bits of cakes and things The tooth fairy will go on strike With the work that your mouth brings T…
He'd had a little card game Just the night before She'd pleaded with him not to He just laughed and slammed the door He was never violent He never raised a hand But drunken, loud and mouthy So she couldn't make a stand He told her he was wi…
Roll up! Roll up! The funfair's here No need to push it's here all year! Take three darts, score under twenty You missed! But there are prizes plenty Raffle ticket number 101 Well done! You've won a goldfish son! Next up is the coconut shy…
Breathe deep a gathering gloom Sunlight's leaving every room Bleeding thru the nooks and cracks To be replaced by inky blacks The purple dusk has gone to ground For Night to wrap its arms around Cold hearted orb has come to call Without you…
'The Breathe Easy Club', they called it. Probably the worst named club ever, considering those who were members suffered from lung diseases of all kinds in various stages of development. And one of those members was my mother in law, Iris, …
He'd wash in the kitchen sink He used the Brillos Between his toes And then he started to think What could he use on his back? When it's really dirty and black He could use bleach If he could reach Maybe he should wear a mac For that woul…
He's my movie hero He doesn't inspire as such But he is my favourite actor I just love his films so much His voice is kinda shouty Never stopped me being a fan And he was always there When my love for film began Whether he be on a cruise s…
@Irrational_Kimmi, I couldn't resist... W omen, you're always moaning O n and on, in between droning M en just want peace E ver seeking release N o chance of that when she's phoning...
You're well and truly missing Your rage has brought you here Won't you look a little closer When you've wiped away that tear You're striking out at something But you don't know what or why You feel if you make contact Your fears may pass yo…
I know it's not the same But save some cash, it's free Son, I know you mean well But I'll turn down your request I don't want to be a burden She's still here, I think it's best And later, in my bedroom Just before I slept Dad, you can neve…
3 months later... Welcome to...The Place! Yes, it was now mine. Couldn't really think that anything else would be right, except the only name I ever called it. Turns out that Lloyd had given his solicitor a letter, just after he fell in wi…
It was body armour. With the word 'POLICE' emblazoned squarely across her chest. Everything started to go in slow motion as I tried to take it all in. Was this really the same girl I had tea with the other day? You know, the same lovely, g…
I heard rumours, are they true? Second hand news about me and you You followed your dreams, caused me pain I'm never going back again But please don't stop, go your own way Free as a songbird, seize the day I will stay bound by the chain Yo…
Countless others, and we haven't relented Man has fought all his life Be it sharp stick or sharper knife Now our weapons and panic Are all automatic Can we end the trouble and strife? I think I have a solution A multi-missiled ablution T…
Is it a little secret? Or does everybody know I search, and when I've found you That's where I want to go It seems you came from nowhere Charged to light my way With starlight's flashing beacons And sunlights healing ray Take me from th…
How do you know when a spell's been cast? Do you feel it in your heart And to know when it's been lifted Does it hurt when we're apart Is it magic you're performing? Maybe you don't need a trick You won't find anything up my sleeve Take a l…
@oushie12 thank you day So many of you inspire And thrill me with your writes The lovers of the day And the dwellers of the nights How then, can I choose Who probably means the most With all the support and comments And your fantastic post…
Bollocks. It's ten past nine. She's late. She's not coming. Those were all the thoughts running through my head as I sat on my perch in Lloyd's place. It was getting a little busy, a steady flow of customers were coming in and out, and Ll…
It's kept so still and cold like ice You peel it, daily, slice by slice Heartbreaks come and aches are felt Still there's time for yours to melt My heart's frozen just the same Let me be a little flame There's no need to start a fire When a…
Haven't been this hot for weeks Sweat dribbling between my cheeks Seems I'm moist from head to toe From hair on head to Well, you know... Won't you give a bucket of ice Or a long cold drink, that'd be nice Been cleaning up and digging out T…
She'd watched us all forever And couldn't quite work out Although a natural emotion What hate was all about Fighting led to bloodshed And bloodshed ushered death Should she impart her wisdom? Why would she waste her breath But starchild saw…
It's time to go And meet the girl Who's spun me round Put me in a whirl New shirt best shoes I'm feeling good Will she be late? As if she would Been looking forward To this all day The rendezvous Just minutes away She told me she's A journ…
I'd taken myself home. I was a little annoyed with Lloyd, but he'd taken the time to explain that she was looking for me, just didn't have much time. He was the next best thing, and it was just unfortunate that she had to go just as I'd re…
How to proceed, how to play? The situation seems wrong Feelings astray She came in, gliding Slowly we showed No need for hiding Love? No, not yet It's not a sure bet It's all in the book Open to all Take a look I saw her, she saw me But now…
20-8-12 Just a quick entry, said I'd write it all down so I will. Hand hurts, but it's not too bad, bandaged it up. Look like the mummy... Finished helping Lloyd with the deliveries, actually did most of it on my own. He can be a pain som…
It'll teach you how to grow Your very own pocket rainbow The formula for heartbreak glue Love potion, and how to brew How to bottle sunshines rays To illuminate the darkest days The way to converse with a ghost Successfully, unlike most To …
20-8-12 Well it's been a while! Thought I'd start to write a kind of diary, something I haven't done in a while. A few things have been happening lately, thought it best to jot 'em down in a diary or book. Lloyd's place has taken off nice…
Boot sale success Just to let you know A movie collection The star of the show A pound a pop Look at 'em go! Now they're all gone I feel a bit low At the end of the day It was quite a thrill To make back some money It helps with the bills B…
For the path's not always smooth Expect some hills and highways As you try to find your groove Can a path be chosen? Is it best left to fate? You know it's gonna come Do you want to sit and wait? Oh the Book has many chapters Make sure y…
Is she? Could she? Are we? Should we? She came in the place Her beautiful face And yes it was tea She'd ordered for me Long dark hair We smiled We started to share It was days ago When I realised I wanted to know But she hadn't been back I…
'Bollocks.' Not normally the first words I would use to greet my friend Lloyd, but that's what came out. He'd been a good friend of mine since the dinosaurs, and he worked at the place that I happened to frequent. I'd go there to read a bit…
Forget this...
A boot sale today To pay my way All of my stuff Hope there's enough Be back soon This afternoon I'll be quite pink I think 'Cos it's gonna be hot But it matters not Oh, the things we do For money. And you?
Something about the way she moves She glides She grooves Floating her way Through the day No classic beauty As such But a cutey And when it was my turn No words They were for the birds I felt a burn A yearn Then she's gone As quickly as sh…
A perfect day A getaway Bright and warm Time to play Stroll by shore Why ask for more Leaving stresses At your door Floating by Like a butterfly Watch the rush And wonder why Because it's fun Out in the sun Make the most Until day's done
There's no place to put your loot When you're wearing your birthday suit I hide mine Where the sun don't shine But that makes me walk like a coot Therefore I think the best call Is not to take any at all You don't need cash When performing…
An old tom cat, I don't slink I sit and I take paws to think Built for comfort, not for speed Pads and pencil all I need Been known to tell a little tail Full of love and rarely stale Used up many of my nine Apart from that I'm feline fine …
Now then, Kim, not being smug Mine would have to come in a mug Lots of ice, nice and cold Extra fruity (or so I'm told) At least three shots, filled to the top And then I'll drink 'em 'til I drop! Stirred up with my writers pen OMG! I'm blu…
All very well when you're in there When you're done it ain't so great It's like a bloody bomb site Oh the culinary debris! Wouldn't mind if you were catering But there's only you and me Baked potato potholes Utensils far and wide An overflo…
Can't clot won't heal It should hurt it should bleed I just don't feel the need Bloated bullet past sleeping sentry No jagged hole just silent entry A hunters selection With a cruel, cool predilection My unguarded chalice Your drag me down…
Something really ominous Is hanging in the air Something evil's lurking To give us all a scare A supernatural feeling A ghost in the machine A cold and dread sensation The worst there's ever been The Book of Revelations Says avoid it if you…
Eyelids heavy in the gloom Lights off, can't see across the room Eyes the windows to my mind Seeking rest, and soon they'll find Ice clinks gently in my glass The drink has knocked me on my ass Working day so long and hot My doorstep is the…
'Lizardspike', to me and you Way back when the dragons ruled Flapping wings and fire drooled They multiplied and scorched the earth But they themselves had given birth To a spore, their sad demise They carried it inside their eyes And when…
Doesn't work drag on... When all you want to say is - Landlord! A flagon!
I'm watching the robots Doing their thing Some made of metal Some made of skin Transporting parts From this place to that Metal ones orange Skinny ones fat Perpetual motion Must be a chore Buy more of the orange Show skinny the door Workfor…
Ladies, your mood will turn black You may feel the need to attack And what is the reason The Premier League season Oh yes girls, the footie is back! But gents, while you are delighted The girlies are not that excited Don't forget, it's a …
N ight time will summon the dragons to play...
Left the house early today My shed - forgot to lock it And that's the reason that I have A dragon in my pocket I know it's not too common I know it's not the norm But every time that he exhales He keeps my fingers warm Only seven inches lo…
It seems the treesnail's gone! Now don't be pointing fingers Don't put the blame on me Although I threatened him with flight I honestly let him be Oh, snail! My inspiration For an Opuss or two What on earth will I do now I think I will mi…
Would you ever bring the rain To cool me Or would you set alight my pain To fool me Could you quench the fire Inside me Or would you fan your own desire Deride me Would you stand so tall Be behind me Or would I stumble and fall When you bli…
Lay me down Let me rest You are here And I am blessed Calm my fear Soothe my brow You know your way And you know how To think it all Comes down to this A single moment A single kiss Thru the night Before we sleep Let's make something For us…
Where they'd held many grand balls Lived Princess Aurora Be a sin to ignore her But she refused any suitors calls One day the silly court jester Thought well, she's only gonna fester He had some neck But he thought, what the heck He climbe…
S ome people will burn... U nless you are protected N ever will you learn!
All week long the sun's been out Tricky, with no shade about And what is this that I can see? The leafsnail! Back upon the tree Like a cat, must have nine lives Seems he's escaped the Frenchmans knives Last time we spoke he was so rude I'm …
I'll be safe, I will select A mental barrier to erect Somebody has said hello! About as far as I can go My conscience speaks, I know it's right Just relax, they do not bite Ineptitude has left me shy So damn tough to just say 'hi' You know …
Of Major Sir Montgomery-Smythe An army man, with a savings plan Since 1945 The family were in attendance Drunken son and fragrant wife She always smelt of roses Though she'd cheated all her life A daughter there by videolink For she lived i…
You passed so bloody early It's difficult to tell Where this writing comes from I'm sure you wrote as well I was only young So the memories fade with age Scarcely any stories They might take up a page Grandad played the banjo So the music c…
Today I'm pretty pleased I'd be a fool to say I'm not But it's you guys that have helped me Occupy this lofty spot See, without you I am nothing I would be nowhere All these words, still written But just hanging in the air I may be the auth…
She wriggles to the rhythm Softly moves her feet Swaying to a rumba And a bossanova beat A picture of her boy Clutched tightly to her chest No dancing competition But a dangerous protest 'Ellas danzan solas' But she's not the only one Dan…
I'm not finished Not quite yet Will you come Will you not Get wet with me It's still hot...
It turns into a cloudy day Hazy in so many ways The weekends dreams laid low by wine Truths and falsehoods intertwine I fall into monotony The boredom's here, I'm all at sea Turn my thoughts to something new Try to throw a wish at you You'l…
#augustwriteaday N ever ever give up E ven if it seems E very path leads to the D enial of your dreams
Ever felt the pain? Pounding on your back Body blue and black And soaking from the strain Have you had enough? Can you find a fresh idea Or is that your fear To think is just too tough Will you bring something new That is all I ask Not too …
It's dangerous, forbidden But I don't really care This candlelight's your clothing Nothing but your skin Hand upon the door knob But you never step within So won't you turn the handle Complete my happiness The next piece of the dream Is any…
Take down all the bunting The Olympic Games are done Nothing left to aim for No distances to run Faster, higher, stronger Legends you have made A lasting golden memory That hopefully won't fade Congratulations heroes You've really made your…
You have rocked us!!!
This is glue. Strong stuff It'll keep things stuck For long enough There's no need To hold on tight Glue will hold you Day and night This glue's so good At keeping you You couldn't leave If you wanted to So much time Has come and passed W…
Sad, isn't it? Knowing you know How low the blow Used your wiles Your pretty smile The charm, the grace Your lovely face Body, your mind For me to find Internally lined With black, unkind Hopes, fears Months, years Drowning In tears So be…
Past Pandora's Box Underneath the golden fleece Next to last nights moonbeams That I keep inside a jar Beside the box of stardust That I brought back from afar There sits a little object A decorated box It doesn't have a lid So it has no ne…
@acorns @augustwriteaday My name is Death I'll come for you When you least Expect me to In your car On the train Bright sunlight Or driving rain In the day Or in the night I'll come to make Your soul take flight May be silent May be loud…
Olympic Games in Essex This should be some fun It's mountain biking time In the lovely summer sun Hadleigh Farm's the place For everyone to be I couldn't be any closer Just down the road to me I'm sure in will be great And there's fun ther…
The groom's been on the Guinness Half the bloody night But she's my drinking partner So that is quite alright The bride, in fact, looks lovely In her wedding dress Everyone is happy Wouldn't expect any less Two very different families Tw…
His name was Cookie Hawkins Opussia's porno star He'd done everything But he didn't go THAT far He wore outrageous outfits When he was on the job Luminous green marigolds Silver bells around his nob Then one day, a loincloth Came from the w…
This is some oppressive heat I swear I've got two swollen feet There isn't even any breeze No chance this nasty warmth will ease But it's summer, I hear you say Fine if you're at home all day Not so good when stuck at work Oppression drives…
#augustwriteaday M emories O f T he H eart E ver R emembered
They'd had a crafty look And found the perfect scenery For their live action Jungle Book Just then a sudden noise Blimey, what was that? It wasn't any doggie And it sure weren't any cat Then there stood a figure With a straggly beard Weari…
#a.c.m.c. Run an ice cube Down my back It'll melt and dribble Down my crack Drop an ice cube In my pants I'll bolt like a herd of elephants
Oh look, there's the treesnail Sitting on a leaf Too hot upon the tree trunk So he's crawled off underneath It must be really awful To roast inside your shell L'escargot en flambé Must be a living hell So I took a closer look At the leav…
#a.c.m.c. You came to spend the evening Dinner, wine and maybe more Temperature is rising As I softly bolt the door So polish off your vino Let's make yours a loving cup The whoopee cushion's ready Let's just leave the washing up...
I'm going to a wedding And I'm gonna let it slip The bride and groom are women In a civil partnership The 'groom' will wear a wedding dress So, in fact, will the bride I couldn't give a monkeys What counts is what's inside I'll be escorti…
But he surely couldn't lose Then, at last, he saw it Amid some dusty tomes Black and blue and splintered Bereft of happy home Wanderer tried to lift it But he couldn't take the strain Of a heart that had been littered By falsehoods aches an…
#a.c.m.c. They called him Lightning Bolt But never to his face A serious misnomer He lost every single race The reason for his failure His relationship with beer But he ran for Team GB So at least the crowd could cheer!
It's quiet as the grave Two souls communicating By means of radio waves Both a little lonely Forging friendship deep Wish upon a star Before they go to sleep Maybe something special Probably just friends Providing late night comfort To a h…
It's down to my shoulders Oh Mullet Kintyre Scissors avoided At least back and front Will this bad haircut Leave my clippers blunt Looks like a shag pile Please set it on fire I long to be rid of my Mullet Kintyre Mullet Kintyre No hair…
Where to start? Thanks to everybody who entered, you've made the judging an absolute hoot. It's been a hot old day down here in sunny Essex, and it's been well and truly reflected in some of the limericks! Some more so than others... So, h…
I agree with Miss Titanium Tits This randiness enthrals When I'm reading stuff like this There's a tightness in my balls Unfortunately stuck at work So it's beyond my power I'm standing to attention Where the hell is that cold shower!
Sienna, a girl that we know Got so hot she started to glow She's down on her knees Will she please or just tease @sjw, we're ready to blow! Three guys in the neighbourhood Had gone and gotten wood We're starting to wheeze So, Sienna, pleas…
For @eddie12309 You told us you are feeling grey Summer's like that anyway This feeling you can't understand We're here to lend a helping hand If the kids just will not stop If this greyness will not drop Nothing you need down at the shop …
By day it's on the sofa Sitting with the others But by night it's on the floor Occupied by lovers Five foot square, trimmed with mohair Built for fun and games Things can get quite hot enough No need to fan the flames Laid on my whoopee cus…
So then, girls, its come to this But I'm not here to take the piss Rather to congratulate Your verbal volleys were so great What a way to pass the time Slinging cheese and pies in rhyme I will remind you though, you lost But our victory cam…
And leave you all aglow...
Ha ha what a blunder! 'Put it back mate' I heard him say I thought 'That's rather odd' What a cheeky little sod! Don't give me all that What? A talking cat? Get back to the land of nod So now I'm off to bed With this episode in my head I…
Ok folks here we go again! Thanks to Caroline for choosing my effort as the winner, mightily chuffed I have to say! Right, to the task. I want limericks from you please. Yes, again! Because they're funny! However many in a piece that you l…
Oh well done, D, Nic's not happy You've made her hero pants all crappy She won't want to side with you When she hears her knickers smell of poo Mince pies you say? I don't think so Begone @VikingHorn, go Dan go! Daring D, a dodgy game You …
These are our final moments I would have liked to stay You laid too many tripwires That just got in the way It's like a mental minefield Too painful to traverse Be careful where to step Just in case the pain gets worse A guarded, barbed …
For @shazydee @chy I'm the knickerninja Of that you can be sure I will root out secrets In your underwear drawer Ah, a peachy camisole Pretty and so lacy Underneath, some photographs Ooo! They're pretty racy... Yes the knickerninj…
Now it's time to use some force I've told you all once, twice, thrice You all know me, I don't play nice Winning fair would be a pleasure But drastic times, so drastic measures So the next part of our evil plan Involves @VikingHorn, yes you…
You're in the zone Hear the gun Start your run Pounding feet Your heartbeat Feeling good You knew you could Will you win? It's all within...
Ah! The breakfast roll... Sausage! Bacon! And an egg! That should fill a hole... Or Damned cholesterol...
Ok folks, I've got new legs I walk like I've been laying eggs But not to worry, there's no fuss 'Cos one of them's a blunderbuss And it'll shoot out pies and cheese Brings super heroes to their knees I can't wait for your red faces You kno…
But there's a special object that I also keep in there I've kept it very secret, so no-one else can see It's private and it's personal, a certain DVD Footage shot in darkness, in the dead of night At first it seemed so wrong, but now it's o…
Hmm.. What does this do? Well, I knew that I could write But I never knew how much And with thanks to Opuss I found my poet's touch Now I find I'm writing Every single day I think it's really changed me I think I've found my way A beautifu…
I'm used to being legless For I drink too much wine I'm balanced on a skateboard And I move around just fine The evil king's escaped So watch out girls, we're back I may be three feet shorter But we can still attack! No resting on your lau…
So ladies, you've got Jack And you think you've won You really must be joking One last thing to be done My evil shirted sidekick I'm prepared to sacrifice I told you I play dirty Here it is, and it ain't nice I've planted several hair bombs…
And when the cupboard's open I have to guard it from the mice They climb here and there They climb everywhere They fool about and catch me out Then nest in my bedhair The simplest thing, perhaps Is to lay a load of traps I'll catch the b…
I have a mask, a thin disguise I wear it when falsehood applies You'll never know if it is me The mask is all that you can see I could be here or am I there I'm absolutely everywhere I'll wear my mask to lay you low Who am I? You'll never k…
'Bright eyed and bushy tailed?' Oh dear ladies, seems you've failed! While BedHairLee has fought the fight New info has come to light Notorious Nic has gone on strike And Daring D's off on a hike! This can only mean one thing Victory! Hear …
When will this mornings battle begin? A bit of an impasse, it could be draw Come on heroes, wat'cha waitin' for? To let you know there's a Viking lord Who'll be watching to make sure it's all above board As The Final Cornflict reaches its e…
Holiday goes quick, doesn't it? Back to work, it's already shit Nothing is running Wish I was still sunning I really wish I wasn't here First day back I always fear What a load of crap At least I've got this app! I hope writing's what I'll …
We haven't missed a trick Good morning and god bless Haha! We've made a mess Here, have a pie BOOM blown sky high! We're wicked and we don't rest Hermans had no effect We are winners elect I have a ploy What a naughty boy It's the method…
The D-Mobile in pieces The price that's paid so steep Evil ones awake But the girlies are asleep Jack has got his cheese Leelee's got bedhair Hero pants are washed Hanging ready in their lair Battle will be joined To rage throughout the day…
I'll be back at work With Bob and Mark Driving me berserk I've had a lovely week away Such decadence! I now must pay But it isn't all that bad There's time for writing to be had So good people I'll see you then With a post now and again Las…
A funny smell I didn't know I said 'Mum, that's not too nice' 'Ah,' she said. 'That's dad's Old Spice' Of all the scents he could have bought Something better he should have sought Advertised in a dreamy whirl With surfer, sea and lovely g…
I gently tease and touch you...there... How d'you think I get bedhair?
It's a ticking but I needn't fear Oh Nic, you threw out bombs with glee But you're dealing with BedHairLee While you weren't looking, I lobbed it far It ended up under your car! There ain't gonna be much legroom What's that noise? Tick...ti…
I know it's a super car But now you've gone too far! So I've brought arrows and slings To damage your clip-on wings! I've got Hermans in my hair I think I'll leave 'em there When I've finished this attack I'll need a little snack I think y…
Daring D you won't get far I buggered the gears in your car There's nothing worse Than stuck in first So slow, like driving thru tar! With BedHair under my hat I could walk quicker than that Here, have some cheese I can hear your engine wh…
Ha! No match for my bedhair Here D have your knickers back They disappeared right up my crack Give 'em a wash if I were you Oh my god they smell of poo! I would use some softener too Now you know what Jerome went through! Psssssssss.... Wh…
Who's that at the door? Adopting a heroic stance? Seeking squirrel retribution In their shiny hero pants? Ha! Dynamic Duo Ready for funny stares? I've swiped your hero knickers Good job you wear two pairs... Back to the D-Den ladies Quickl…
Don't need super weapons Don't really need some cheese I got plenty stuff To bring 'em to their knees I'm BedHairyLee Good Evening. Time for sleaze Dynamic Duo? Hero Pants? My goodness, ladies. Pur-lease... I told you I fight dirty I'm st…
So you're looking for a sidekick But there's nobody about And without a list of applicants You've given me a shout I'll introduce myself In just a little while In the meantime, why don't you check out My crooked winning smile I hear a hole …
Run, don't look back Take up the slack That lovely sunny blue Is turning pretty black Run, look what you've done Stage managed to stun You killed it Everybody and everyone Run, but what a show! Bask in the afterglow Of your machinations Rea…
Over to the mirror Open bleary eyes Expecting total mess What a nice surprise It stood at 4' 8" Shocking to the core Now it's fairly tidy Only 2' 4" People pay good money To have bedhair like mine But I couldn't see in front of me Most of …
We're never there for long But that is all we need To make the sweetest music In a deeper lust indeed You know just what to do You always know your role But all too soon you leave Through that you-sized hole Climb in again tonight You know …
He'd put on a pout And spend the whole day feeling crappy
Can't be fun It's hard enough Just being one But if that's how You want to play I'll just move Out of the way It's all for you What you've sought Now there's Food for thought
I am watching the women's beach volleyball. In 3d... Just thought I'd mention it
It's getting old No more warmth It's all too cold It isn't there I've lost the fight Yes it's time Exit, stage right...
RiddleMeThat...answer M achinations A riadne made Z ealously guarded E ndlessly played
Here I am at the vets This should be a crack 4 of my giant rabbits Oh my bloody back Yes you may well laugh But what you cannot see Worldwide bunny domination Should they ever get free Gotta be mindful Of a new found rabbit state Just be b…
In the morning mirror Goodness what a fright Sticking out at angles I've got bed hair alright Last night is was short and smooth Now it's 4' 8" Never knew I had so much Jesus, what a state And it's gonna take a while To get it flattened dow…
He stepped up to the gallows Just before the noose pulled tight And the hood upon his head Blocked out all the light A million random thoughts Electrified his brain If he had another chance Would he do the same again Well yes, of course h…
TV's on but I'm not watching Bitten alive, skin is blotching! But it's peaceful, all is at rest This time of day is the very best Nothing to do, no need to worry The world's asleep, so I won't hurry A random piece like this, you'll find Is …
You'd be here with me Staring at the stars And sipping at our tea The barriers between us Would not be in our way Your cushion's on the doorstep But you're not here today I lean back on my elbows Allow myself a smile Your tea is long sinc…
An old one, for @MelchiorJ13 Beyond the sea and far away A small fantastic land Idyllic, peaceful, beautiful For those with words at hand It's name is Opussia And it's a secret world you see Words are the admission price And speech is alwa…
Hoped the market wouldn't crash Hmm... May have been a bit rash I watched it turn to trash Nothing left of my stash Now I'm broke... At least I had a bash!
@Irrational_Kimmi, you know Has one or two things to show So she gave us a flash And quick as a dash Something had started to grow!
The greatest riddle, borne on the breeze Hear it whisper through the trees Someone is coming, a legend indeed Approaches Opussia on a jet black steed A writer of tales, epic in length Has descended from his tower of strength And armed with…
This one's for @sara_lou Thanks for the morning brew But your good friend LeeLee Doesn't drink coffee A nice cuppa tea. Sugars; two! So thank you @sara_lou Better when it's tea for two As I've just woken up The offer of a cup Will help me …
You seek an answer you cannot find When nearly all the roads are blind Many paths and corridors A torturous journey lies in store You may think you've found your way It'll happen often as you play You may require to blaze your trail Else fo…
Green unpleasant septic isle Let your people down in style The pain that unemployment brings Heartache waiting in the wings Empty buildings never used Privilege has been abused Build us up and knock us down Shops don't open in this town Loc…
It's been this way too long Wonder what I've done wrong Suppose we'll talk soon Before the next blue moon...
What am I known for? Who the hell knows I don't know myself As it goes It ain't for my looks I know that much And my biting sarcasm Is no gentle touch I'm not very fit No follower of fashion But I suppose I'm quite full Of love and of pas…
Sure there wouldn't be another I took you as my only lover Things were fine for a little while Felt so good to see your smile But it didn't take long For things to go wrong Seems that there was more than one That you had seen for extra fun …
It's not quite here as yet Brain and body mush Here..comes..the..rush...
There's no rush Take things slow No-one else Needs to know A slow burn By the night By the flickering Candlelight All to win All to gain Nothing to lose No pain Place your trust And hush You will see There's no rush...
Ok so I've brought it forward a bit, please forgive, I am a bit busy. Plenty of good haikus in reply to this one, including a couple of strong late entries... But there can be only one winner, and that winner is @eddie12309 with Blood Lust…
When your heart's on fire Green painted jealousy The ugliest of faces You'll find this lovely shade In the unlikeliest of places Blue can be so rude! But can also take you down Depression and anxiety If this colour's splashed around Yellow…
I know it's getting on I know it's rather late It seems that my mate @Mundy Changed her name to @Mandamate See, a little while back She told us of the games That her friends and family Would play with her name So instead of just Amanda …
And then said 'Howzat!'
Amongst other things...
Won't be posting any more Battery is dead...
What's at the end of Larswards Path I bet it's not very nice It's dimly lit and leads nowhere Ooo I wouldn't look twice The locals won't go near it They take the long way around For Larswards Path seems to be the place For badness to be fo…
Evening all. Thanks Jack for picking mine. Ok folks this time around I'll have a haiku please with the word 'bat' in it! You've got 'til 6 o'clock pm tomorrow, when I shall announce a winner. Off you go then!
Week off work's alright Work harder here than at work! I shall sleep tonight...
A fella called @Barknbite Thought it just couldn't be right Chocolate and cheese? Oh, pur-lease! A mixture like that's not polite He had negatively replied Even though he hadn't tried The choccy Philly That sounded so silly I'm not having …
Hey, where's the Household Challenge? The grand Opuss daily competition instigated by Daring D? If memory serves, its flame was last entrusted to @madhatter. Just a gentle nudge...
Why am I awake It's only half past five Worked hard yesterday Barely felt alive I thought it may have been Just a toilet break Oh land of Nod, please take me back My sanity's at stake I can hear the sounds of morning The birds, the rain (ag…
Seems that you are gone I could feel it on the air I reached for you this morning You were no longer there Likely you are gone Did you even come home I was tired, asleep And wouldn't have known Seems you've really gone Having never told the…
I've had it on bread And I've had it on toast I'm having it while You're reading this post I've done extensive research And I know it's silly But I'm really enjoying This new choccy Philly
Thankful for my cuppa tea! I'm ready, my bed is calling me Maybe I'll make it wait awhile While I read some stuff that makes me smile...
That it isn't all for show All I know's this Ignorance is bliss Best just go with the flow...
From staying to going From learning to knowing From shyness to growing From darkness to glowing From writing to flowing
#flow if you decide to flow swim against the tide life can be a tough ride
#flow There was a strange man called Joe Who could only say yes or no But he was undecided And was rightly derided So now Joe just goes with the flow
To keep your socks. Nor is it a place To keep a fox Or your grandfather clocks Or any amount Of igneous rocks. A jewellery box Is for wedding rings And bracelets And necklaces and things. You'll also find A length of string And a thre…
Kim's mate, Sid Was a 5 legged spider At first, there was fear Now love is inside her What a lovely thing To just come back And say 'I'm off now, Kim You're the best in the pack You didn't dust me Or Hoover me up And for your kindness You …
Dear diary Well Luke actually came by today. And what a mess that boy leaves! I mean, no sooner had he turned up, he's jumping all around the place swinging his natty new green lightsabre about! He did do a good job on it though,…
Dear diary, Luke didn't show up. Again. Really thought he'd come around to the idea of having a father. That's gratitude for you I suppose. I mean, one minute you're just a farmboy working all the hours for your uncle, the next h…
There's someone that I know I'd like a closer look I've opened up a bit You read me like a book No need to make it heavy Let's just keep it light Cool during the day Hot throughout the night No-one else is here Nobody is around Let's keep i…
The day is over all too soon Let's sit awhile by light of moon Late night whispers of cloud float by Beauty captured in your eye Try to catch a falling star The sweetest thing I know by far To watch the planets turn anew And sit and share i…
At a garden party Lots of people here I don't really know them Paralysed by social fear They're all really friendly And I'm drinking their beer BBQ is roaring What am I doing here There's more people to come Hope they pass me by Please lea…
Seems a little strange When things get rearranged Feather has dropped New kitten on top Time then, for a change There's just one thing to do Congrats from me to you Enjoy your time Keep up the rhyme That's all - I'm off for a brew!
Another oldie... Night time falling, everything blue Can't stop feeling I should be with you Try to be strong, haven't the might Everything's wrong and baby that ain't right Suppressed emotions, can't seem to say I'd give you devotion, but…
This is an early one that seems to tick 3 tags, so here goes... Love, for me, is many things The way the blackest blackbird sings The freshest air, the frosty dawn The brightness of a sunny morn Chasing shadows in the rain Fantastic creatu…
#red Oh poppy red, keep a memory true For those who fought for me and you Rows of white crosses, remembrance stands For all of the dead, from all of the lands
So please don't let this slip A rose by any other name Is surely a tulip
Only hours to go Starts later today A massive celebration Will get underway It's gonna be fantastic It's gonna be so great It will be legendary And I can hardly wait It's gonna cost a packet Of that you can be sure I don't really care It's…
Sitting at the traffic lights I vaguely looked across And I am glad I did For it would have been my loss In that fleeting moment A lovely thing to see This pretty looking girl Was staring back at me It seemed to last forever Our eyes, it se…
Then here's what I would do I'd turn red wine to water Just to spend some time with you
One thing's certain, @rracmada Your iPhone is red hot!
I may well soon be gushing...
And the wine that's in my glass Red, your sexy underwear And my handprint on your ass...
All. Bloody. Day...
Red will tell you when to stop And the shade of a blood drop If you adopt a hero's stance It's the colour of your hero pants
Red is lovely Red is grand Red is the colour Of @mort's hand...
Just grows and grows. And grows...
Down among the dead A place I sometimes go Even though I'm only visiting And there's no-one here I know I come here for the solitude And peace I gain herein To listen to the voices Carried softly by the wind They tell me of their stories Ta…
It is nearly done! This extra week of working... Then fun in the sun! What is that you say? The rain will come back next week! And it's here to stay? grrr...
Coolness and the stillness Blessed relief for now Will soon be replaced By the sweat upon my brow I take a little time Before I have to start And wonder why I didn't say What I knew was in my heart Oh the sun has risen I wish it were still …
One's from Northern Ireland The other one's a vet And if you suspect fowl play They are your best bet You'll find 'em in the D-Den Just like Caped Crusaders Clearing up the chicken shit In hero pants and waders D of course wears red And Ni…
oh my god he's here again the guy who says i caused him pain he really is a needy one i thought he understood he said he would i only wanted some fun couldn't we do this on the phone? not here, not now, i'm on my own i thought he was up for…
I know a Miss who was on the piss Quaffing loads of cider Headhurty surely in the post With all that booze inside her Me, I'm fine, I drank my wine Then washed it down with tea I didn't need the headhurt For today I'm a busy bee Can you pee…
I opened up Pandora's box Easily, it had no locks Bent my head to look inside Made my eyeballs open wide Nothing but a photograph Surely someone's had a laugh And under picture, there was written 'By Pandora's bug you have been bitten You'…
It's pretty much An epitaph A hymn for love For you and me And a love That cannot be A timeless shot Your pretty face Beautiful Filled with grace A feeling, I am Tinted blue All I ever want Is you This photograph I'll keep with me The fine…
Dear Miss Brown I understand you're on the sauce, just like I am. I'd like to ask, how's it going? For I seem to be to-ing and fro-ing. One more glass should be enough, or waking up, I fear, could be quite tough. I would just ad…
Leelee's on the vino Oh dear oh dear oh dear He's much worse on that stuff Than he is on tea or beer Better take it easy If I possibly can But there's still a bottle in my fridge To drink it is my plan! Think I'll try to save some I'll h…
There's a fella at my place It seems he's always late And to be short handed Just leaves us in a state In he strolls this morning And in a voice so loud Announced to all and sundry That he wished to be called Cloud Now I'm not really bother…
As things are getting hotter It may get all too much I know a place to cool I'll surrender to its touch Blue beauteous waterfall Existing in my mind You are there with me And I'm sure we'll find There's only you and me That's a sure fire be…
Tuesday, please go fast! Even though it's still early Forever you last...
Lying together Side by side Both of them Enjoy the ride Gentle flirt Little tease Shouldn't really Don't stop please Surely it is Just good fun They say Make hay In the sun But all it ever does Is rain So quickly! Let us play again...
But you don't know what or how Create a master work? Or throw out a piece or two Depends on how you're feeling And what you want to do Here I am at three o'clock Because I'm wide awake It's probably due to heat And the medicine I take So …
Darkness falling Madness calling Or am I already there The magic of the night Tells me Something's in the air The poet's pencil Fever twitched Fuelled by lust and drink These twin devils Responsible For what I feel and think The clock won'…
I'm Jake the peg And my extra 'leg' Measures 4' 4" Rests upon the floor The girlies scream Not every ladies dream But if it doesn't fit You can skip with it...
Not my usual Monday I'm on a different job But bully's special bonus is That there's no Mark or Bob I may not keep up as well But, by god, I'll try I may post in the evenings Leelee, nightdweller? Oh my! As you can see from this one I just…
#household A truth to be accepted And not to be denied All the information You needed was supplied A lovers choice is made And deep inside you know Instead of trying to keep it You should really let it go With your heavy hammerheart You …
#nightdwellers Night, no light A creature With a dripping bite Shadows cover Me and you My lover Inky blue Turns to black Emotions lurk A chance to attack People pass Away they go Say nothing But they know Me and you Will ignore their ca…
i follow you i'm always there i'm attracted by the scent you wear the clothes that make you look so pretty some colour in this soulless city your hair that bounces when you walk the way you smile the way you talk don't turn around you'll ne…
Sunday morning, I have survived Why on earth was I up at half past five I drunk some but didn't get too pissed Yet here comes pain with its bastard kiss Personally I blame the ale Bought in haste for 'twas on sale A slow and easy day in sto…
I'm going to a party A 50th birthday do No it's not for me So not another word from you! There'll be many friends And it seems a fair excuse To celebrate a birthday with Some alcohol abuse I may do drunken posts What the hell! What the heck…
There's a yellow thing Hanging in the sky I don't know what it is I won't even wonder why It looks fairly familiar Think it's been there before But it's normally quite cloudy So I really can't be sure My mood is so much better When it is ar…
Not home 'til late at night You had earned the overtime And your schedule getting tight But there's a subtle truth In what you did the hours for And I could smell the cheap cologne When you came in thru the door To confront was not my styl…
This ain't no test It ain't no drill You know the hole You're going to fill So come on Bob Show that crack @Delilah, Jerome's not Coming back! I lined it up The perfect shot Heard him say 'It's brown and hot' But all that's left His bush…
I'll warm you if you're cold Together watch the shadows move Upon a field of gold Sit with me, say nothing Let lovers tale be told As evening turns to twilight A wonderland unfolds This field of gold's our secret A place for us to go And he…
Stare into the mirror Nothing's changed at all Exactly one year on Since I heard a happy call My Facebook is alive for once But I don't really care Mostly friends I rarely see And they're never really there Work is only brief today When it'…
Out on the porch you are swingin' Your daddy comes thru the back door You don't hear the telephone ringin' Your momma won't be back no more Your daddy, he got the message You jump down and run off to hide Darlin' you know what's a comin' Wh…
Ok then, people, it's time To see who did what with a rhyme A limerick prescribed The judge was then bribed But no matter, all entries were prime! Ok here we go, a big thank u to everyone who had a go. You kept me laughing deep into the ni…
Someone new to have a go at! This fella's name is Mark And as operators go Well, he's not the brightest spark He's the new boy on the line But he's not new to the place You can tell he's not the ticket By the confusion on his face He's bagg…
Oh little snail upon the tree We've been here before I've told you time and time again You're safer on the floor Oh little snail, you daredevil What are you doing there You look lifeless, motionless Suspended in mid-air The little snail the…
I may well be getting old A little past my prime But I kick against the pricks And I do it all the time I get a little achy And my body feels the pace But I've got my rebel's spirit You can see it on my face I still possess the spark It yea…
Sitting at the roadside What's this that I can see A preacher dressed in black And he's beckoning to me He said, 'Son, you've had a life And now it's time to pay I have come here to collect And the price is due today A lifetime's misdemeano…
I use teabags made in China Because there are none finer But Indian tea Just as good for me I drink it when I'm in a diner Then there's the teabag from Wales Which needs a boost to its sales It's colour, you see And its ferocity Are why …
Ok, thank you, Nic for choosing my effort(s) as your winner! So with no further ado, the new household word is - Teabag But I'm moving the goalposts slightly, your entries must be in the form of a limerick! You can have as many in your …
Oh ladies, won't you raise the roof It's time for you to tell the truth Please let out your secret plan What is it that makes up your man? Brave and fearless, nerves of steel A romantic, not afraid to feel Bad boy, leather, studs and jeans …
If I gently take your hand As we walk beside the sea You and your graceful beauty Will you stay a while with me Here we'll watch an ocean Stirring softly with the sand We really could be anywhere But I'm in wonderland
'Transform any garden! Turn night time into day! Come and get your Light Bulb Only available today' So of course, I bought one For I wanted something new To freshen up the garden And brighten up the view I waited 'til the evening Had given …
Oh no! The kitchen lightbulb's gone Darkness reigns where brightness shone How am I supposed to cook When I can't see the recipe book Ah, but us lads have a trick It's over to the Man Drawer™, quick! Here is where you'll find it all From b…
Will someone please donate me an ear trumpet, either so that Bob can use it to hear me properly, or so that I can ram it up his arse. I promise to clean it. Thank you
Don't worry, Mister mister We all understand You've got all the money We're sure you've got it planned They'll be glad to leave on Friday The damned that you select With no motivation What the hell did you expect You won't be there in perso…
How dare you, Mister Man! Shuffle off, and leave no poets plan You left me with your will Pere Ubu walks down Lime St. still Oh how you made me feel Bomb commercials, a batmobile How could you ever know Of your inspire or where I'd go Certa…
Not bad, this Tuesday All seems to be going fine Normally Bluesday...
Someone's opened my trinket box Don't know how It has many locks A box of secrets A box of tricks Lit by ornate candlesticks Inside there's all sorts of things A jar of starlight Some angel wings A love letter Billet doux Sent by me Return…
It's the best selling ornament in London What it really is no-one can be sure You cannot hang it up, but it'll stop a door Does anybody know what it's useful for But it's the best selling ornament in London It isn't really short and it isn'…
Small wonder the mood's not bright I look at the sky And it's grey. In July! I reckon it's in for the night Everyone's wearing a frown From here to the far end of town No need for a hat When it's raining like that Sideways, instead of stra…
If you are happy Content with it all I'll put down the phone And not wait for your call If you decide It isn't for you You know where I am And you know what to do If it's too much to lose If it's worth something yet Then don't think of me A…
Each day he'd scan the papers For a crossword he'd not done His missus on the other hand Just wanted a bit of fun So one boring evening (They were all just the same) She ripped up his newspaper Played him at his own game 'Here's a little p…
Drunken skinny dipper Swimming on her back Couldn't see the shadow Lurking, waiting to attack 'Twas on Amity Island Thirty seven years ago The mayor was in denial The townsfolk didn't know 'Close the beaches!' said the chief A New Yorker ca…
Monday, new Tuesday! The blessed weekend night shift Nothing wants to play...
# household The buffet at the christening Contained something, there's no doubt For I am holed up in the throne room Trying to work it out Maybe 'twas the prawn ring Defrosted once or twice I only had a couple And they tasted rather nice H…
The place is a tip Nearly time to go Naff conversation With folk I don't know Kids running riot That's nothing new Spilling your drink All over you At the end of the day It's time well spent At least all the cupcakes went A family occasion…
Not too much from me today A double christening Loads of friends and cupcakes A special happening Doesn't seem that long ago Since these young mums were kids They grow up all too quickly Look what they went and did! One thing I am sure of I…
Why am I even up At this early time And what makes it worse Is I'm writing it in rhyme! Stayed up pretty late Flirtation with the night Bypassed Rich and Wolfie On my journey to the light Lay upon my bed This part makes me weep Although I'm…
For now I'll keep your picture Precious piece of art Look on your eyes as windows Thru them, I see your heart
I gave her the name 'Roxy' All pinky, shrivelled down A breath of air was needed To make her lose that frown She's a blonde haired beauty And it is my true belief She's been sent by mail order Expressly for my relief She's cuddly and inflat…
It's for the best Shut it away From falsehood's face In cardboard box The safest place
The postman called on mummy With letters he had brought Her PJ's were too sexy And her nightie was too short Mummy said to postie You look a little trippy Is it getting warm Or is it just a little...nippy?
You make me laugh You make me smile You talk to me a little while You really are A loving friend My best to you I'll always send Some days when I'm feeling low There is a place where I can go I see your face And yet I feel It's a crying s…
I looked around my garden Something wasn't right And then by God! I saw it 'Twas a pixie, or a sprite I thought my clomping footsteps Would have frightened it away It must be wearing earplugs 'Cos it stuck around to play So with interest, I…
That dread uneasy feeling A whisper in the wind Don't tell me that a sinner Has returned, and that she's sinned? Tales around a camp fire And that's where they belong Let's hope and pray that on this day Inspector Burrfoot's wrong Two lette…
Right, I'm off to Natalie's Cup of tea? One sugar please Things to see and tales to tell Hope there's custard creams as well Maybe not too nice a day Let's poetry it all away Tree climbing, know what I mean? Hope that doorstep's nice and c…
The stillness of morning With cool summer breeze A gossamer highway Connecting the trees Flowers are resting A fresh coat of dew Reflections that would have Been better with you A walk on the seafront Raining or not Quick, take a picture! A…
Love is like a bumble bee You'll never really know what it was that stung you... Until it begins to hurt...
E very time you're around T o tell me it's alright Inspired by @sjw and her closet.
As it's also known, the loo The place to perform etiquette For gents, ladies, not you Say, for instance, there's four traps Or urinals as they're known (This ain't for you if you need to poo You'd best move to the throne) You're in there o…
At blank page he'll sit and stare The poets outfit he will wear A tortured soul in so much pain The women's favour, try to gain That closet narc's on show again Tears on tap that flow like rain Shuns the day, embraces night Throws up a hand…
Here's a morning story Of two worlds in which I live One I share with you guys And the other with a div Pulled into the car park Thought I'd share the news Maybe it'd be pleasant To get a workmates views So I told him the whole story He jus…
Ladies and gentlemen, a few weeks back, and at the continual behest of Mrs. Leelee, I entered one of my pieces in a national poetry competition. I thought, ok, why not? Got a letter today, explaining that the quality this year was better …
My favourite one's A blonde haired girl Head to toe In tennis white Can't see her face She's fit alright The selling point A touch of class The 'cheeky' part - Can see her ass! Lads will agree They'll understand How much I'd love To be that…
Let her down easy Your damnedest choice Soothe her With gentle voice Let her down slowly Remembering What once stood Was everything To let her down Hard to take The fairest heart Will break Let her down softly A passion play Then quietly …
Won't find it on a wall Or covering holes in doors Not readily available Nor hidden in plain sight Contains many images Some darkened and some light Sweet snapshots that depict The way things ought to be And yes there are some pictures Tha…
We open at a wedding At Don Vito's place His youngest son arrives Puts a smile upon his face A war hero, young Michael With Kay, his bride-to-be She doesn't know what's coming If she joins his family Where the hell is Sonny? Don Vito's elde…
I'd never known Since I was a lad Methane gas That smelt so bad We moved her body Poor old soul Noticed that She'd burnt a hole I remember it To this day Needed new carpet Anyway...
A massive ship Seven souls in space Set down upon A desolate place They found a craft Not at it's best A space jockey With hole in chest In they went On tired legs Found a cargo bay Full of eggs They should have left Nosey buggers Those egg…
Bluesday strikes again! Instead of being simple Work is just a pain!
How do you feel now it's done A stunning tale Of setting sun Played like a fiddle A catch me out riddle Strumming on heartstrings Is a wicked thing Elaborate charade? They'd have given their aid Don't think of us cruel Or emotional fools Fe…
Though you are miles away You were here today Lovely little chat About this and that What you like to write Is fine, all day, all night Here's where you'll find me On your doorstep, drinking tea
He isn't very tall You really would be lucky If you noticed him at all Likes to eat his dinner From the drivers seat His bed is in the ashtray (it isn't very neat) He takes himself for walkies Round and round the roof And when he wants back…
You've looked into the mirror Your jaw has dropped, agape You say yours has a heffalump Well mine contains an ape! Bags under your eyes? I got suitcases under mine Half an hour of grooming 'Cos my hair's so bloody fine Need a mini pick axe …
In a wondrous wintry setting The Hotel Overlook Closes for the winter So there's no need to book Take your pick of rooms They'll all be empty Except for 237 Contains a mad lady The kitchen is enormous Every type of knife And outside there i…
Monday; a slow start. At least it isn't Tuesday... That would break my heart!
Tea on the doorstep You say it's a date No need to dress up Don't mind if you're late Nothing too fancy Don't care for smart Just need a kettle You and your heart And there we can sit See what we'll see Talk into the night 'Til morning may…
I watched the tennis in 3d Murray served straight at me That dour old Scot Gave it his lot I'm afraid I spilled my tea 3d and HD sweat Realistic you can bet Murray on his ass From a backhand pass And a rally at the net All too soon it wa…
Final's on, Swiss v Scot Andy is the best we got Rallier v baseline lunger Face has been caught by a plunger What a miserable git! Crack a smile, son, be uplit! We've had enough of sourpuss pain Every time it bloody rains! But even so, goo…
I live by a lake And a bet I'd stake It'll turn into a sea With all this rain, for goodness sake See I don't really wish To share my garden with the fish Another thing that I don't want Every step to be a squish Why is it every summer Turn…
The greengrocer gave A little seed for free And from the little seed Grew a mug tree It's in a little pot On the patio Growing mugs for tea And coffee, don't you know Some of them are coloured And some mugs are plain And they get full up W…
You can keep your red room fantasies Your sexual designs You can keep your 50 shades For on Opuss, we have Heinz...
50 shades of grey? More like 50 shades of green For hubbies will get jealous Of a rival that's unseen All those whips and chains Of which you fantasise Is that really what you want Across your milky thighs? With your nose stuck in your Ki…
And on it, they had lots of fun! They made their family But the comfort and the thrill of it Soon turned to novelty For when she took the kids out Upon this marital bed Was where he had his mistress She found out, her heart bled Maybe she s…
I love your way I must confess Even when Things are a mess I love it when You get words wrong You do it to nearly Every song You're soft Like melted butter Most times You're a nutter! You are a lot Like your dad A thing that doesn't Make …
You called me All night Until it bled Daylight I listened once Maybe twice Things you said Not nice You stick around Even though You say You'll go I hear Your voice Mock me Your choice Is it all Really wrong? Gone on Too long You spit U…
Rain all day today... That's just bloody typical - Torch is down our way!
I wish I had a crane To visit Auntie Jane She lives on the top floor And that really is a pain She had a trampoline That she gave to Sister Jean She has to hold her habit To keep her bits unseen They're friends with Old Ma Mary Whose legs …
Too hot to write Too hot to fight Too hot to sleep Every night I long for a sign As long as it's fine A long, cool breeze will Blow down the line Breeze, move the vane Breeze, calm heat's pain Is tennis still on? Ah yes, cooling rain...
Sitting in your bedroom Just staring at the clock Waiting for the phone call Telling you it's time to rock Silver dress hangs ready As you pop another pill You know it's pretty early But you get off on the thrill TV's showing nothing That y…
Pull your curtain Let me see The love you say You have for me Say it's good Say it's fine But you seem To draw a line We've been together For too long For me to simply play along To know that we are not that strong For you just to forget ou…
'Thank you nurse I'm on my way!' Nothing else Matters today Running thru The corridors Must telephone The in-laws! Why the urgency You say? She has given Birth today There she is! She is well So's the thing That made her swell Takes a st…
Yesterday at work There weren't a pen in sight So off I went to get one Thinking it would last the night The nib's now dry and crusty Only fit for the bin You may as well have snapped it All that wasted ink therein And who do you think it w…
My parents came around For to have their tea The 4th day of July Is their anniversary We sat around and chatted As we always do Their recent holiday and What my sister's been up to Then we served the dinner Sausages and mash! We like to kee…
Working day over... Parents anniversary... Thursday hangover...
A party is underway And it'll go on all day 300th post More than most Well done @iPuss I say Boozing and dancing galore Shake your booty! Get on the floor Show us your class Be shakin' that ass If not, it's back out the door! So congrats …
Far away in outer space Sits a little man In a little spaceship Drawing up a little plan He watches all the planets And stars that pass him by But one place in particular Has really caught his eye A multicoloured orb Painted blue and green…
The Mona Lisa - is she beautiful? I don't think she's all that But I can't help but wonder What on earth she's smiling at Maybe something she's done Or she's gonna do You can't see past her waist Is she sitting on the loo? Is she thinking o…
See the fella at the bus stop In the pouring rain Banned from driving, likes a drink May have to catch a train Getting soaked with no umbrella Was driving him berserk He only had himself to blame If he's late for work It all seemed like a g…
I want to know What I feel Is falsehood's game Or is it real I want to tell To scream and shout What it's like When you're about I want you To hold me tight Reassure me That it's alright I want you To lift my mood Allow me to be Slightly r…
Rain on my glasses Tut! What a pain Looks like I'll have To wipe 'em again With rain on my glasses I can't see clear If anyone's bothered To come anywhere near Rain on my glasses Reminds me to cry Even if I'm not sure For whom or for why …
The saddest sight you'll ever see A derelict in Battersea Hey there Mr. Councilman Don't you have a building plan? A bunch of flats, or maybe not You can't just let it stand and rot! How about a sporting hall Or at least a shopping mall An …
Underneath the railway bridge Early morning fog Sits a lonely homeless man And his faithful dog Stands up tall and stretches 'Rover' does the same Another hurtful round Of the begging/busking game Picks up his guitar He can't play all that…
mirror, won't you tell me fair see nothing when at you I stare mirror, what is it that's wrong perhaps I've been around too long mirror, all that I can see sad face staring back at me mirror, with your glassy eye all seeing pane, no need t…
Here's a little story Of a man whose time is short The disease that is his nemesis And the battle that's being fought The regular hard worker He never took a pill Mr. C had something for him And it wouldn't be a thrill Healthy, but a smoker…
Ok folks here we go. Tough choices, don't you know But as I am the official recorder Here's the results, in reverse order... In third, the sweet childhood recollection, 'Oven Glove' by @iPuss In second, the the sexy 'Oven Gloves' by @naav…
Another bold claim Desired early fame Getting harder In Jakarta Kills like murder Never obscene Pretty queen Rarely seen The upward view Will X-ray Yonder zoo
He woke up early morning And made two cups of tea Poured out bowls of corn flakes 'One for you and one for me' And then by chance he saw it From the corner of his eye Brightly coloured, strapped and locked Her suitcase, standing by And the…
Remote controls are everywhere And not just for TV Used to make do with just one Now there's at least three They used to be so simple For me to operate Just trying to change the channel Leaves me in a state Pick up the remote Whilst lying o…
Ok lads, the footie's finished Wipe away that tear Back to normal telly Back to the soaps I fear Put away the BBQ Won't need it for a while Football widows everywhere Have on their biggest smile Girly films and rom-coms The order of the day…
The princess woke this morning With the first rays of light She couldn't put her finger on it But something weren't quite right Princess had a feeling Something had been re-arranged But she couldn't really see it Was she, in fact, deranged?…
Unbelievable! I mean, poo... Never mind. Kim, thank you, thank you Kim. Ok folks here we go your new household challenge word(s)... OVEN GLOVES Get 'em in sharpish, I'll announce the winner as close to 5pm as I can tomorrow. Good luck…
Out to pry, you're quiet
WARNING: NOT NICE... Come with me, and ruminate On how our poo can variate Start with the bomber if we can Big brown nuggets down the pan Or how about some diarrhoea Slopping, slipping from your rear This one will not make you sing 'Cos d…
Hall is full. Expectant faces. The crowd are taking their places Enter. Stage right. But what is this? Stagefright? Just a moment, I've earned my shot We've practised, and we are hot! We know our moves We know our songs Nearly ready Won'…
What I feel Can't be right Yet I feel it Every night Only known you For a while You're sexy And you make me smile It's black and white Clear to see We are treading Carefully For there is Too much to lose Not an option Not one I'd choose Bu…
Oh I think This game of dare Isn't going Anywhere So why don't we Up the stakes And watch the risks The other takes Is it love? Or is it lust That pushes you To break the trust Because when all Is said and done It's surely just A bit of …
You said you'd leave your heart In a place where I could find The only little piece That you would leave behind I never saw it coming It was you who'd played away But it didn't stop me searching Every single day Never really together Rarely…
It wasn't meant to be this way To fall for someone new Especially as his marriage Showed no sign of falling thru But every time he saw her All reason ran away He kinda got to thinking He must have her, now, today! But then the realisation …
What if one night the moon weren't there Would I even stop to stare What if all the stars fell down And fell as shards upon the ground What if mountains crack and crumble Lightning fused with ne'er a rumble What if I then broke your heart …
Life is good Life is grand But it can deal A dodgy hand I can read The words you write Close to giving Up your fight I know I'm not Qualified For my life's not Too tough a ride But I've had A share of pain Tears have fallen Like rain Give…
A hymn for lost love Something that once was so strong Sent from up above
Didn't know your name Seen a photograph Pretty, personality And you made me laugh In a different lifetime You could be the girl for me But in current situation What a shame that cannot be
Sitting at the bar I've had too much by far Me and beer Are friends, I fear Think I'll leave the car I've shown little class Kick me out on my ass I'll go, it's true If you want me to Until then, barman, one more glass...
Our @misslittleDHP Was sending hugs quite freely But with arms not so strong She wouldn't last long At the Opuss convention you see Then a girl from North California Said, 'Listen Kim, I warn ya If you can't give a hug You'll look like a m…
The sneezes that were in the post arrived this afternoon I swear I'd still be sneezing if I lived upon the moon I think I'll take up residence inside a little bubble For with no doors those pesky spores would give me no more trouble Oh to p…
Coolness as I close my eyes Freshness comes as a surprise Welcome break from stifling heat Take the weight from aching feet Afternoon will just roll on At least the bloody headache's gone At least for now some brief respite A chance to feel…
Eyes of ice Heart of fire A quiet man With warm desire Won't you come To take control I'll welcome you Into my soul An illicit trust A body strong Could be so good Although it's wrong So run those fingers Thru my hair Melt me, cool me If y…
It can't Go on Officially gone Games You played Your bed You made Hardest Call lose it all Love Eroded Trust Corroded like rust ©leelee101
Another thirteen hour day This working life's a bore I know I need the money But sometimes I need more Another day with sinus blocked Just cannot get clear The sneezing, then, is in the post All day long I fear Another day with aching back …
Oh my god here's Bob Half six, spouting already Won't you shut your gob...
The choice for you May be hard so true Our lifetimes or chances With all those sly glances I cannot compete With people you meet But I know we are right And by tonight When you've decided In me confided Just to hear you say It's you and …
So we've tackled leaky teapots And yes, my sofa too The best one from the Ministry I've saved 'til last for you The Ministry are everywhere And for this, forever smug For they've been sticking Polo® mints On to half assed mugs Oh yes, the t…
My sofa is no good for me Ultra paradoxically It seats four people, so stretch out Room for all, without a doubt It's leather, black and super cool But to take a seat you'd be a fool For if you sit upon this chair That's when it's got you, …
How many times have you commented And found yourself feeling demented At the close proximity Of 'send' and 'backspace' iPhone keys Try to send a comment to An author, but only halfway thru You'll find the wordage has been sent With half the…
Shiny teapot, short and stout Water in, tea comes out In a single, steady flow? Not this fella don't you know Silver coloured, you've seen the one Surface hotter than the sun And when time comes for tea to pour You'll not get what you barga…
Must admit to getting worried To where have all Opussians scurried? Everybody's copyrighting S'pose it's better than infighting Fewer posts thru day and night Seems like we're all scared to write Has plagiarism stopped you dead The fear of …
Cloudy grey sky? Check. A sense of foreboding? Check. Then it's Tuesday. Heck.
Hey my darlin', just a note In fact, the last thing I ever wrote Honey when you became my wife Never been so proud in all my life A simple country boy, wild and free You did the honour of marryin' me For worse or better, just the same Unti…
You played a game I knew your name Everything different Yet still the same I let you back When I was slack Unprepared For your attack I took your lies Your alibis But now it's time For our goodbyes You took my best Just take the rest Befor…
We sat on the edge Of the beach that night Sand in our shoes By the firelight Throb of the carnival All around The lap of the waves The only sound Cool, gentle breeze Plays with your hair We could have been ...anywhere... In the firelight's…
Here's what happened to me The last time I visited 'V' Getting in was a joke Got close to sunstroke But I soldiered on, you see I'd won a VIP pass Somewhere nice to park my ass With a decent cash bar I didn't go very far But Paloma Faith? …
Can you feel it in the air? A kind of magic everywhere Anticipation all around Something good is coming down The path ahead for miles and miles Will be lit up with joyous smiles Colours vibrant there to see Enthusing all with energy Everyb…
So England are out... Never mind, Wimbledon's next! Final, there's no doubt...
It's 0 - 0. Me nerves are shot. What more have England got? I think I'll have A quick cold shower Cannot stand Another half hour! Come on En-ger-land!
Don't want to play teacher Or try to be preacher LDG is Aleisha Be careful, she'll fleece ya On Saturday I said She was inside your head With a pro avatar And eyes glowing red Oh AG, why did you come back You knew we would see you and launc…
Right folks, here's the score Gonna be a 1 - 1 draw We'll go out, you see By the odd penalty I wouldn't expect any more I know what I'll get for this A 'yah', a 'boo' and a hiss En-ger-land, be strong Come on, prove me wrong It's only 5 ki…
We still Hold hands When we Are walking Soft silence Just As good As talking When we Are in Or out They see The love we Share For you For me Sexual A deep lust All the time Greatest trust Tenderly Secretly Lovingly Intimacy
Ever fallen in love? Ever known the pain Ever felt the hurt When it goes away again When love comes along Try to treat it right Try not to do it wrong For it is worth the fight
Watch for her The one with the eyes As she draws you in With those midnight sighs Watch for her When you're there she'll moan Think you know her You won't be alone Watch for her As she stares unblinking You'll never know Just what she's t…
Loss, I think, is not always so bad You can't lose something you never had Weight loss, then, is a good thing Dropping a dress size makes girls sing And on Sunday, when Italy lose Beers and cheers, no time for boos A loss of memory is bad. …
My heart's a thing I can't explain When it embraces Joy and pain My heart is young It catches fire But keeps me safe From harm's desire My heart is old But still so strong Keeps me here Where I belong And yet my heart Will stay so true My h…
Don't look for me I am not there But I'm floating On the air I'm whisper, rumour Deja Vu And while it's false It's also true I'm the ghost In your machine Sometimes dirty Sometimes clean The feeling that There's something wrong? That's one …
Thursday, straight from Hell Today, though, I'm pleased to tell It's all going well!
Some years ago, and down the line Met a woman, and she was fine Relationship shiny and new We did the things that couples do Staying in, going out Whirlwind, of that I had no doubt She was still married, but I could see This girl was the on…
A stranger came With breaking heart Another had Torn it apart Can you help Find a way To mend my broken heart Today I listened hard I listened true What more Could a stranger do Unsure what The future'd be Some fears, tears Uncertainty My…
I've heard of a cake called Herman Origin unknown, could be German On this, you can bank He's the size of a tank Not a Panzer, but maybe a Sherman And if Herman decides to blow There's nowhere to hide or to go Northern Ireland beware! The…
Born and raised in Essex And I'm still living there Just under 5' 8" , blue eyes And I possess brown hair Right, that's it, that's all you get Oh, I see, you want some more? Ok let's dig and try to find What it is you're looking for Didn't …
So, Apple are stinking turds What a bunch of nasty words! There's no need to get demented For Apple have gone and invented Thumb extensions, six inches long To help you when you're going wrong Slip these on, and you will find Tip-tapping's …
You know my name It's all you got You don't know me I'm all you're not I know your game I watch you play Easy to see Simple to say I know your style Take me on I'll make it clear Just be gon…
What I see in front of me Bank of wild flowers, a busy bee A gently twisting tidal bore And loads of fag ends on the floor Trees that give their precious shade Some worker ants out on parade A stork that's drifting on the wind And a load o…
Have you ever had one of those days? When nothing is going your way A bad time at work Driving you berserk Leaves you wondering if crime would pay Do you find yourself thinking, 'that's it! I'm off, had enough of this shit' A complete lac…
Why not take a trip today To a place that's not so far away Riches you'll no longer need Here is where your soul is freed Unpolluted atmosphere No more anger, no more fear Colours sparkle, blue and green Brighter than you've ever seen A pl…
So England got through Quarter finals? It's Italy. Please try to score two...
If you weren't here I'd play for bands And gig in European lands If you weren't here I'd stay out late Getting loaded In a state If you weren't here I'd be a mess Lose my job Hazard a guess If you weren't here Who'd drive me on When all my…
When I see you in the morning My mood just gets to sinking Go tell it to the tourists Is the thought that I am thinking You bore me with the things No-one really wants to know And when it comes to hometime I sincerely wish you'd go You sh…
As I opened Up my fridge I was bitten By a midge Saw him land Upon my arm Brushed him off Saw no harm But I've been scratching Now it's red Itch all day Even in bed And what is this! Alas, alack Another bite Upon my back It's in a place T…
@naaviie improv challenge What is this driftwood for? Sitting by my door This is not fiction Weren't made by friction Nor cut by a jigsaw It could be a mirror's frame Or hold letters just the same Think I'll release This gnarly piece In…
Wake up and turn on the day Reach out and switch off the moon Turn down the mid morning brightness My picture's fuzzy 'til noon I'm in the bathroom mirror God, I'm getting old! Please excuse the flabby bits All down to vertical hold Time …
Don't you cause us pain Now that you can, please play Wayne It's only Ukraine... Obligatory England matchday piece
Tuesday, bluesday Not a day I'd chooseday A bit of an abyss But with a hug and kiss And a lovely cuppa tea That's the way for me To start the working day Hug and kiss I say And write Tuesday away!
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is my longest day. God, I hate Tuesdays...
@misslittleDHP improv challenge Bare naked lady, thinks she's all alone Tenses up with wind when she's upon the phone Bare naked lady, also needs to pee Her toilet is congested so she goes against a tree
Put it in a poem, she said I chose a limerick instead A bully you say? You're wrong, Miss A Here's what I should have said Poppy, you lovely thing You make the men's hearts sing Ti Amo, I say All night and all day I sure hope this soaks u…
Hey diddle diddle The cat pissed and piddled Shot smack from a rusty spoon The little dog shat all over the cat 'Cos he had rabies, the loon
Ok, here's the adverts Now's the time for chatter Get on the phone, or have a moan Anything, it doesn't matter Ok, you've got three minutes That should be plenty time For you to say how was your day? Great. In fact, sublime Ok, the ads ar…
@eddie12309 Improvisation challenge Young Eddie had a notion To write pieces of ova-emotion But eggs really smell Do best not to dwell In case it caused a commotion All this piece really needs Is grass and some poppy seeds As this limeric…
As I lay here, 'au naturelle' Waiting for the morning bell Something's wrong, I'm not that old Tell you what, I'm bloody cold I look across, you're alright You've been tucked in half the night And on your face no sign of guilt Even though y…
It's quiet again today I know why, I have to say I unleashed my face Upon this place And it's scared 'em all away!
Night will fall Replace the day It's when the darkness Comes to play See the girls Dim lit street Trying hard To make ends meet See the boys Not yet men Waste their wages Drunk again Moving deeper Thru the night Nearby club A pointless fig…
Another milestone reached today 400 followers have come my way To all of you I now afford My sincere thanks for coming aboard Thanks to all 401 of you who have deemed my stuff worthy of your attention. And as always, thanks to everybody …
Awoke today at ten to five Body aching, barely alive Glance in the mirror, pain has begun Result of an afternoon in the sun Off to work, I'm sure I'll pay Excess of a drunken Fathers Day I'll try to cure my morning's ills With a concoction …
Post Daddy's Day blues Had a few too many beers Work? Not what I'd choose...
Hey I'm Sooperdooperman And I fly without wings I've got x-ray vision Among many other things My sooperdooper powers Set me apart from the rest The ability to fly Is what I like the best But I'm no normal hero In my suit of red and blue Fa…
It's Fathers/Mothers Day Time for a rest Had a few beers It's probably best Blokes wanna watch footie Mum won't let us play I reckon my friends It's still Mothers Day
Let me tell you about Fathers Day Just 'trimmed' the garden, my back will pay Then we're off to buy some lights So we can see the state of it by night After that we'll see my dad I'm sure he'll be ever so glad See my old man don't give a sh…
Happy Father's Day Take the family to lunch But make the kids pay!
There was a vampire called Ned Who wasn't always dead He came alive At half past five To paint his coffin red And then later at night Ned leaves behind the light He stalks the land Paint brush in hand Looking for necks to bite But his h…
So it's a little quiet And you're changing all your pics Another happy way To get some Opuss kicks They say that if it fits You should wear the cap I think I'll leave my pic alone My face'll crash the app!
Not so long ago When I was nearly done You appeared by magic And became the one You turned me around Showed me how to live And with expressive heart Give all I have to give Now every little thing That you say or do I look upon with awe Al…
Everybody knows a camel cannot play guitar Neither can he play a lute or even a sitar I know of a camel, thought he'd learn to play banjo There's only one thing stopping him, the curse of Cameltoe Instead of getting humpy, he booked himself…
The sun's been shining today The same down Poland way In this Jubilee year Give the nation some cheer Make the Swedes look like turnips I say! White shirts are all around The cross of St. George is abound We'll give it some welly In front …
Angel, Devil, which is best? A bona fide lover's test If he is the one for you You'll have your fights, all couples do If though, you decide to stray You may just throw it all away It probably isn't all that nice To have a stranger spout a…
My printer's mind is all its own I'm positive I'm not alone You're hooked up to my PC You should take commands from me Paper's straight, ink is full Yet you give me so much bull You're destined for the tip I fear When 'Printer Busy' is all …
This little post is just for fun For a competition has been run Not for trophy, not for cup A contest that's been hotting up Fantastic prize to give away And winner will be found today Chance to show which app is best With paw print logo up…
You used to have a name That I can't remember now I'm sure that in the future It'll all come back somehow You used to be so raucous You'd back me in my fight And in a quiet moment You'd read to me at night You used to leave me messages All …
Our Saviour has a new name And @crowncottage is to blame He smokes maple leaf 'Cos that his belief But he wears a beard just the same This has come to pass From an odd punctuation class This lovely chick Says she's as thick As a concrete r…
A loss is felt today Someone's been made to pay Don't ring any bells Just say your farewells And get back to the Opussian way There'll be some bumps and jerks But we're left with original works Copy/pasters have learned That fingers get bu…
Where to look Where to go Who to trust Who to know Like to write Words that rhyme And I do it All the time I've been here For a while Think I've found My own style Carry on Because I care Copy mine Don't you dare
Came around this morning, still feeling comatose For I like to sleep at night, as everybody knows Turning on the iPhone, saw a sight to make you weep Maybe I imagined it, eyes still full of sleep No, it seems it is the truth, two Opussians …
"I'm lovin' it"® your jingle says But that's not quite the truth 'Cos although I'm lovin' your Big Mac™ My cholesterol's thru the roof Which makes McNuggets™ obsolete Quarterpounders too Makes resisting quite a feat In fact it makes me blue…
The recipe For perfect rhyme I've searched for it Time after time Would it be A lilting song To light the dark And right the wrong Should it contain A lot of swearing Or is that Too overbearing Should the topic That you choose Be a gamble…
Listen, that's my mate Bob He's got an incredible gob With hands to his lips He could ward off ships But large mouths contain lots of flob Oh yes! Old Bob'll spit Each time he produces some wit Don't stand too near You'll be drenched, I fe…
Late at night, time for bed Oh to rest my weary head But what's that noisy ringing tone? It's the bloody telephone! What do they want? Who could it be? Don't they know it's bedtime for me? Sorry to be a dreadful bore But late night callers …
Late at night, about eleven Time for bed, oh what heaven Telephone began to glow A number that I didn't know Picked it up, a voice so meek Said listen John we need to speak But tired, ready for my slumber I told her you have the wrong numbe…
What a bloody day! All for little pay Temperature's dropped But rain has stopped Wish it would go away At least now I can write All day and maybe all night! Spend my time Making up rhyme Letting my words take flight But for now I will ju…
It's fairly slow today Everyone's been washed away By rain which is pouring Making Bluesday so boring Try a limerick like @PoppyA She's written one for Nic And hasn't missed a trick Nic can only play 30 minutes a day 'Cos she's knee deep …
Yesterday was Monday We called it Funday But I hate Tuesday So I call it Bluesday Weathermen warn It'll rain all morn Machines are bust So I've had to de-rust Thing I like most Ability to post Is hampered today Bigwigs at play I've hid in t…
...bzzz... ...crackle... is this thing even working? ...bzzz... ok think that's got it. Hunter, ident no. LL101. Can't be long, haven't got a proper fix on the others yet. Bastards dumped me here with nothing. Managed to get this voice re…
Opuss vs footie? Hmm it's tough to call Some of the Opuss girlies are being driven up the wall If you want us lads' attention, you only have to ask These iPhones do two things at once, yes, we can multitask So keep going ladies with the lov…
England 1 France 1 Bugger.
England 1 France 0 Hahaha!
We interrupt this edition of 'Funday' while several Opusseers bugger off to watch the footie...
This afternoon, 5 o'clock Getting ready for England to rock Could it be after all the tears First major title in 46 years? With half a team that's fit to play And the ex-manager of WBA England expects! Don't make me laugh I'm fully prepared…
This afternoon, 5 o'clock Getting ready for England to rock Could it be after all the tears First major title in 46 years? With half a team that's fit to play And the ex-manager of WBA England expects! Don't make me laugh I'm fully prepared…
What would I do With a photo of you? I'd lock it away In my wallet all day Then in secret place I could look at your face And for a while I'd wear a smile
At my back door this morning Sits a cat called Dave He's from a house just up the road But he doesn't misbehave Until it's time to put him out And he's underneath my table Then he'll play his chair leg games Try to grab him, I'm unable And …
Saw a sight Made me smile It was a bright red Crocodile Strangest thing I'd ever seen I thought they were Usually green Alright mate? No I ain't I've just been covered In red paint If you want My advice Don't wash it off You look quite n…
I told a fella it was wrong To come to work wearing a thong Walking had turned into farce With inch wide knick-knacks up his arse And when anal emission had departed To you and me, that's when he farted Beneath his trousers, undies sang Wi…
My mate Eddie is mild and meek Goes to football and then he'd streak Eddie had a plan you see To get his nob in full HD The referee would give a toot There'd be Ed in birthday suit But Eddie's problem, risible Appendage near invisible Eddie…
If you keep slurping energy drinks You're gonna have a problem methinks It's only small but it is this Your name will change from iPuss to iPiss! For iPuss x
There's a girl called @PoppyA Who likes to speak Spanish all day Espanyol so grand But on the other hand It's easier in English. Ole!
There was a man called Dan Who worked to a limerick plan A master of letters Nothing felt better Thanwhenhemanagedtosqueezeinasmanywordssyllablesparagraphsandphrasesintothelastlineashepossiblycan
Weekends come and weekends go Friday high Saturday low Leave but not forget the sadness Ready to embrace the gladness Back to what I like the most And that's the feeling when I post I know it has been done before And I don't want to be a bo…
Sunday morning at the vets Two hours in, ain't been seen yet Our 8th arrival needs injections To be immune from infections So far though, only mutts And guess what's aching? Yes my butt Hey Mr. Vet, it's not funny Ignoring those who've got…
(front) Opuss in Boots (back) We do panto too...
Ain't it odd Ain't it strange Just how quickly Life can change Make the most Of each day Before life gently Drifts away
Stage is set, take my seat Depend on me to keep the beat Room is full, lights are low Count 'em in, away we go Songs they know, songs they don't Some will dance and some won't But when push comes to shove You can't resist Addicted To Love H…
Front Opuss - it's only words... Back Yeah, write!
Opuss - Aaaallllllllwritey then!
Opuss - write on...
Opuss Fruits - Made to make you an author! (to the tune of the Opal Fruits ad) #t-shirt
Opuss - do it Write... #t-shirt
Front If Calsberg did apps... Back ...Opuss #t-shirt
Opuss - it's in the post... #t-shirt
Opuss - the Write stuff... #t-shirt
From Opussia With Love #t-shirt
just Opussin'... #t-shirt
All I need's a moment A little space for me Some chillout time inside my mind Where no-one else will be I'll sit there quite happy Just some solitude Is all I need before I feed On feelings that I've viewed I may return quite shortly Or may…
There's a man I know, he wears a hood Whose earholes indicate his mood A little guy, the Angry Midget® His ears, a rage forecasting widget Most times they're a fleshy hue But don't be fooled, because if you Make Angry Midget® most irate His…
Tonight's the night, how will it go? Will I be too fast or go too slow? A little nervous, a little shaky A little older, a little achy Hope my drumsticks do not break And no-one hears mistakes I make! For there'll be a couple, it's true Bec…
What's this I see? In front of my face It seems that I've Dropped down a place Therefore, I am no longer 'king' And that can only mean one thing Following me there was the Queen One of the best you've ever seen Short spell in purgatory se…
Won't you say How you feel If this just Isn't real Why do we Fly like birds If it's really Just words For when push Comes to shove I am there With a love You can keep For your own Or return Like a loan But if it's Not so true Then say s…
Ventriloquist has a dummy And he calls it Clive But he's not just a wooden bloke For at night he comes alive See, Clive is a rare talent And he finds it quite a farce That he's the one performing With a hand inside his arse Clive could go i…
Feedback from Guitarist's amp Singer looking Slightly camp Bassman's feet Made from lead What is he playing In his head Keyboard player Known from school Wiry hair Not so cool Drummer boy Yes that's me Lights in face Cannot see! Played our …
Rock star checked himself out Hair, teeth and famous pout Still playing live At age sixty five And suffering badly with gout Yet despite his advancing years And against his doctors fears He'd play to the crowd By Christ! They're loud Too m…
The luscious Ruby Dazzler Was a stripper of repute And she spent her evenings In her birthday suit She really was a beauty Best of 'em by a mile Ruby Dazzler took the stage Wearing nothing but a smile Then life dealt her a wild card In the …
Busker stood beneath the bridge Playing a mournful tune Didn't know where he'd sleep tonight But it'd be by light of moon He would play all thru the day Beside him stood his dog He thought there must be something more Than this all weather…
Early Wednesday morning The Queen was sitting down Reflecting on her reign And the bash in London town She was feeling poorly And really very tired Maybe there's a stand-in Lookalike that could be hired Maybe then Prince William He'd make a…
You don't like light You prefer the dark That is where You made your mark But that isn't All you do For I know You're soppy too You were there From the start When I began To ply my art And you helped Me on my way With the comments You wo…
My body seems to stall Without its wake up call I cannot see No bloody tea And that's no good at all A thing I really hate Is when the trolley's late Don't know about you I need a brew I really cannot wait O why can't she see What she's…
What is that? Daylight my friend Extended time Is at an end Body says It feels like Monday Head still reckons That it's Sunday It's what happens Can only guess With extra time That we all mess The only thing You will find Afraid it's back…
Tonight, a new arrival Another bloody rabbit I've told her time and time again It's turned into a habit Rescuing these waifs and strays And giving them a home Pens that reach up to the roof And let the bunnies roam I reckoned one or two of…
As he watched the Jubilee Upon his black and white TV He thought on what had passed before Starting when he fought a war As soldier, nation's hopes he carried Then in the 50's, young man married Lovely Liz became his wife To have, to hold, …
Late night London town Raining all around Friends had left him there He didn't care For seated in the dark The girl with the spark They'd been staring Pulses now raring A dance upon the floor Not needing words any more Relying on senses Aba…
Internet blues today I've been unable to play Electronic friend On which I depend Has been down nearly all day Haven't been able to post What I like doing the most I'm mad as a hatter My PC I'll batter I'm not giving up the ghost Hopefull…
West India Dock, pageant ends Boat is filling up with friends Some had been there from the start Dressing up to play their part Others drove and joined us late To make the atmosphere so great Drinking deep into the night And now I stand in …
Last week was really hot Soaking wet is what I got I reckon the old Queenie Should've moved her jubilee But I'm assuming that she forgot
Down in London for the day On a boat in the flotilla And on a vessel to my right The family of Camilla O what fun I'm gonna have With the Parker-Bowles today Look out for me upon TV When we get under way They won't know what's hit them W…
Had a bacon roll or two No surprise to you These were desperate buys I cannot disguise I just had to borrow their loo!
There's a fella on this train Wearing shorts, even in this rain He may be quite bold But his legs must be cold Or there's something wrong with his brain He's spilling over with fat Why would you dress like that When it's clearly, today Go…
They say the simple things Sometimes are the best So with stepson in attendance I put it to the test We invited him to dinner Asked him what he'd like He said steak and chips We joked, said on your bike But half an hour later Couple of glas…
Shopping with wife Trouble and strife Being too hard On my credit card I don't mind For I will find A little treat For my feet
Someone help I can't see What the hell Is wrong with me Party rocked Thru the night Still I'm awake At dawn's first light Should have slept Like the dead Instead of that I'm seeing red Start to feel Zombified Couldn't sleep If I tried
Floating softly on the breeze Falling gently from the trees Tiny things that make me sneeze And leave me, watering, on my knees O how I wish it were not so My nose is sore because I blow Spores are everywhere I go When I start sneezing you…
Oh well lunch break over Back to daily grind I look in nooks and crannies For any mischief I can find Searching for a victim A little prank to pull But it's a little tricky When the place is just half full So I'll get on with the work After…
Sherlock Holmes had decided to play Much to Dr. Watson's obvious dismay "Holmes, you really should be solving this riddle Instead of scratching away at that fiddle The police can't solve this conundrum So to you, for help, they come" The gr…
I can see within my mind A way for us to leave behind The stench decay and daily grind Come with me and stand on ledge Tiptoe gently to the edge Take the leap, a solemn pledge Then fly with arms outstretched like wings Away from all the w…
A is for Aleisha, my mistress and Queen Bee B can be for Bryan Heap, which leads us on to C C of course for Cinders, beauteous red haired muse D is for Delilah and her serial killer ruse E then is for Ell, and F is for Fly10 G therefore is …
I know a young lady With a double barrel name Pretty little thing Playing at love's game Seems from what I know She's destined to lose For the man she wanted Won't walk within her shoes I don't think she'll find peace Unless she lets him go…
If my eyes no longer see Beauty that's in front of me If my legs no longer run Shoot me with the starter's gun If it becomes too hard to breathe And my chest starts not to heave If my heart should start to break Then splinter it, for Heaven…
Moonlit star Be my guide In cool blue shadow I can hide No-one else Is here tonight You and me Your silver light Show the way Primal charm Keep me free And safe from harm When the day Plays its part You will shine Within my heart
The curtain twitcher was looking At next door's latest booking He got so worked up Dropped his teacup And started overcooking She wasn't exactly dour And her pay came by the hour Curtains could see She don't work for free But he'd stop 'em…
There it was, upon the floor, a fat and bulbous purse I'd noticed who had dropped it, a lovely looking nurse Thought she may have realised, but she carried on her way So I picked it up, thought to myself, O my happy day I rifled thru its co…
I've calmly put away the gun Decided there must be someone To help me stand up in the night And get me thru the bright daylight I know full well it must be wrong It's with the living I belong But there are times within my head I'm alive b…
Find myself outside a place Where no-one knows my name or face Argument the night before The reason I am at this door And there she stands, an old dear friend Always with an ear to lend She told me a long time ago We should have been, this…
Saw a little elf Sitting by himself Couldn't reach to put his teeth Upon his bedroom shelf He said excuse me, mate Please place my dental plate Upon my table, I'm unable In my current state I said of course I can And carried out his plan H…
Where once was heat, calm descends Where once was wrong, truth defends Where once there was a ratings stealer Where once was hurt, time the healer Where once was dark, now the light Where once was bad, now alright Where once divisions threa…
Fire. Ice. Naughty. Nice. Hot. Cool. Smart. Fool. Dark. Light. Open. Tight. Proud. Shy. Girl. Guy. I See You Me
Accepted your apology A little soft, but that's just me Not all others feel the same Only got yourself to blame But now the comments left on here Are ringing loudly in your ear You gotta take the rough with smooth They will watch your eve…
Go down to the churchyard Give it half a chance You may see the skeletons Doing a little dance They come up to the surface Thru a system of holes But they don't dig 'em on their own They share them with the moles The dance is never done at …
A little message for @Jatt Seems you're a dog, not a cat You decided to play And cheated your way We expected better than that What a shame you cannot stay With all this on your head today You seem to have played With false names that you …
Jatt - you're Nobody. Funny how that's worked out...
Thanks are due to @Georgiastar for making it 300 followers! And continued thanks to absolutely everybody who's making this place what it is. Excellent. Thank You All.
If he had lost... Card on show, it was a five No chance of leaving there alive The dealer, she had bowed her head Sorry sir, I think you're dead He slowly looked around the place Not a single friendly face He thought, I'm out upon my ass I…
Card on show, it was the ace! Tears of joy ran down his face Wife not knowing what he'd done She thought he gambled just for fun The gangsters then all shook his hand This brave man with their hundred grand And said, "You've had your finger…
That was a bit of fun Card deck poetry everywhere All over Opussia Like shrapnel thru the air Everyone's invited A bit of this and that Excuse me while I charge my phone My 'four-king' battery's flat!
The King of Clubs was dancing To the music in his brain While King of Spades was digging Up the gardens once again Diamond King was dressing In his jewellery and his bling The three of them then visited The one remaining King They'd forg…
The King of Hearts was sitting In his counting house one day Wondering what to do with All the shrapnel on display I know what I'll do, he said I'll share it with the cards And with whatever's left I'll give a bonus to the guards So calling…
His pulse had nearly doubled The prize, a hundred grand A lifetime's careful saving On the outcome of this hand The dealer turned them over The two and three of hearts His palms had begun sweating His breath in fits and starts She knew just…
Pacman sat all by himself In a maze of yellow dots He was reminiscing The friends he hadn't got They used to get on famously But now they'd all moved on He didn't like it on his own And wondered where they'd gone Pinky was a drag queen Blin…
The cards were dealt, the scene was set A chance to clear a heavy debt He'd risked it all before, and won But this time wasn't so much fun He had to win to change his life But most of all to keep his wife So in a smoky, dim lit room He'd sa…
He dashed into the phone box Needing to make a call He had to tell his wife He'd be late home after all Replacing the receiver He turned to push the door It opened just an inch But wouldn't move any more And then a sudden rumbling From bene…
She dances on the floor To show that she still can She dances all day long with An imaginary man She had a partner once For the Paso Doble He's been gone a long time But she holds him anyway The waltz, a pirouette The sparkle of her dress H…
O to be invisible Just for half an hour I really think that it could be My favourite super power I could walk around a while Causing mischief everywhere Imagine bags of shopping Floating in mid-air I could follow random people Whisper in th…
Woke up today What the heck? Got a barcode On my neck What's it for? Why's it there? Nestling Underneath my hair Scan myself With iPhone Barcode's purpose Still unknown In supermarket Tesco anoints 'BLEEP' - I'm worth Double clubcard point…
A cautionary tale to start the day Regarding the honour that's come my way I make words rhyme but so do others Opussia's poetical sisters and brothers And the writers, who make stories strong Some are at least ten pages long And quoters, an…
Happy days Spent with friends Shame the weekend Always ends Swimming pool Sky so blue Plenty wine Hot tub too Laughs and jokes Remembering Times gone by Everything Happy days Please don't go You are all I need to know
Strange little feelings I have found Anytime That you're around I don't know you All that well Something about you I can tell I've never met you Perhaps I will Until that day Time to kill Just a feeling Just a note Just a little Piece I wr…
After staying out all night He looked a bit of a sight His beard was growing Underwear showing And his eyes weren't all that bright See, he'd been to a place Proceeded to get off his face And now it is clear That home's nowhere near Is ther…
Simplicity It seems to me Is the key To what should be Make it tough Things get rough Nasty stuff You've had enough If you can say It's good today Come what may Then that's a way To turn the key Set it free And you will see Simplicity
Empty road In front of me No-one else That I can see Stretching out Mile after mile Put my foot down For a while At this moment Feeling free Considering Day's destiny Maybe slow May be fast Peacefulness That may not last This road is life …
My bloody cat Doesn't purr But he likes To pull his fur End of day Finish work There he sits Knowing smirk Maybe he Is feeling hurt But his hair Covers my shirt He can suffer I'm in pain 'Cos I'm the one Hoovering again
Upon my back, a story old A lifetime's tale, seldom told Good or bad, lose or win All imprinted on my skin All the deeds that I have done Some in sorrow, most for fun My love, my loss, my everything Coloured with a needle's sting Friends I…
I think, today, I will Invent a magic pill Once it is taken There'll be endless bacon And tea for us to swill It comes in packets of two One for me and one for you You just have to wish For your favourite dish Or a fabulous gold plated loo …
The Phantom of the Opera was musing late one night What would really happen if he stepped into the light Would he be accepted, welcomed with open arms Would Christine still be there, her beauty, voice and charms Would the owners of the oper…
Hey, you, I'm not mad Sorry that you're blue So here's a little ditty Young lady, just for you It's just a little note Please don't think the worst But you see in this instance Someone else must come first I'm happy to be helping you And pr…
Bit of a landmark The 200th post I suppose I should Really make the most So what comes next For a new century Change of style? Nah, that's not me Just hang back, Wait and see... Thanks everyone for helping me to carry on writing X
Roses are red Poppy was blue She wanted a poem But no-one would coo But late on a Thursday Someone was reading Posts and comments And knew what was needing So a poem was writ And posted as such Dedicated to her It didn't say much And now Po…
Tide is in Salty air Lingering Just hanging there Sun is bright Fishing boat Ice cream van A happy note Cobblestones Beneath my toes A secret place Everyone knows Lovers stroll Holding hands Sea of blue Golden sands Someone writes A lilti…
Not a sight I'm used to Right in front of me A little coloured snail Climbing up a tree Maybe he'd got tired And was taking in some air I thought he might fall off But he weren't going anywhere I said what are you doing? Snails don't live o…
Here's a tale of Igor, Dr. Frankenstein's assistant And when he got things wrong, boy, was he consistent One day the doctor thought that he would build a creature Made mainly of dead parts of men, though women may well feature So he sent ou…
A sleepy little harbour Called Bodega Bay An interesting diversion To brighten up your day That is, until recently The Birds have come to town Mild and meek? Their sharp beaks Kept tourist figures down They were killing people At an expon…
There was a little fella He had a little plan And the name of this chap Was the gingerbread man He'd hang around your house Just outside the gate When the coast was clear He'd lay upon a plate The kids would be delighted And they would t…
Every single Saturday I buy a lottery ticket To ease my cash calamity So I can tell 'em where to stick it Every single Saturday I'm convinced I'm gonna win But they've drawn the fourth ball out And I throw it in the bin Every single Saturda…
Sitting in his dressing room, Coco shed a tear For even with no make-up, no woman would come near See, Coco was the best of 'em, he stood proud and tall But when it came to loving, he'd had no luck at all He'd had a girlfriend years ago, bu…
When the day is over And you've let off all your steam Dinner, TV, time for bed To sleep, perchance to dream Dreams may come in any form Many allegories Any subject that you like Different categories There's the secret agent In which you sa…
I am just a fella An ordinary guy But these days something's different And I can't let it pass by For in the morning when I wake I can't resist a peep There's always something great to read 'Cos you guys never sleep!
You're never there when I get home We work a lot of hours And when I'm doing something wrong You give a look that sours See I'm not Mr. Perfect And you make sure I know When I'm doing things I like You say it's time to go You talk your way …
What would we do without iPhone? Would we make it thru the day Would the journey home be ruined Without a game to play Where would we be without iPhone? The strangest thing of all Is that no-one seems to use it To make a telephone call What…
I can see a view so grand Just a piece of this pleasant land A field of green and waters still Waders fishing with their bill Insects buzzing round a tree Seagulls swooping, wild and free The only sounds that I can hear Is Nature, there's n…
When I got your message just a week before Said that you were leaving, couldn't take no more Thought that I'd be fine with any other girl But it seems the truth is baby that you rocked my world It feels wrong To be with someone new It feels…
Tuesday morning going slow Just can't get the machine to go Tools left scattered on the floor Legacy from the night before Maintenance crew have had a look They clearly haven't read the book Hand it all over, leave it to me He always gets i…
When out upon my travels I came across a brook It really was a beauty so I had a closer look Sparkling and crystal clear, lovely as can be Bubbling like a can of pop, effervescently I really couldn't help myself, I had to take a drink But …
As day turns into evening Will Happy give way to sad? When dusk comes along Will it all go wrong And good surrender to bad? It's just a little thoughtlet That crept into my mind See, I often think As the sun starts to sink The nice stuff ge…
Just a quickie, while NSM® is still with us, just noticed that I have gained my 250th follower. To you, and the other mighty 249, and absolutely everybody else, my sincerest thanks. Sorry to interrupt, back to it then...
They were made of pixels, emoticons to you One was bright and yellow and the other deepest blue Their names were Sad and Happy, attached to comments sent Their function was to illustrate which way your feelings went Happy said to Sad one da…
Out in the desert, come what may Three sisters wished their lives away Their dream was that a handsome man Would ride to them and share their plan They'd dance for him, and him alone And then he'd share their sandy home Alas, so far they'd …
Count Dracula woke with a smile Said, I'm going off blood for a while It's red, thick and gloopy And just sends me loopy It's time for a change of style So with loyalty card in hand Cape left at home, understand This scary old mister Sought…
Today's Non Sorrow Day® So let me hear you say The things we write Will be nice and light To chase the blues away Here's one; to me, a dream Lets off a little steam All season long I have played strong I've won the works Dream Team! Get …
Hand me my pencil, let me write Forget the pad and phone Scribble down some words tonight And make them all your own Write a poem to a lover A story or an ode As long as someone or another Can reap the seed you sowed How about some epic tal…
When your heart is beating fast Then you know she's right And you don't know what to say Just wait 'til tonight Don't know what to do Remember She is just as scared as you If you feel she is the one Then tell her so You should wrap her u…
When your heart is beating fast Then you know she's right And you don't know what to say Just wait 'til tonight Don't know what to do Remember She is just as scared as you If you feel she is the one Then tell her so You should wrap her u…
Can't eat this, shouldn't eat that Too many calories, you'll only get fat Seeds for breakfast, forget about lunch Roll on teatime give me something to munch I couldn't be thin even if I tried Too many years eating food that is fried A shame…
We like a boot sale, the missus and I To pass a Sunday morning by Get a CD you may have missed A favourite film, hard to resist Maybe a pair of jeans for work With loads of other clothes they lurk Yes, used to be able to get good stuff Bu…
Well done Chelsea FC Played footie in Germany 1 - 1 was the score Then they played some more And won it on penalties! Well done Blues London's pride.
So there I was, standing halfway up the stairs, still damp from the night, with my snub nose tucked into my waistband. Upstairs, darkness, not a sound. And him. Behind me, well, what a bunch of assholes. I stole a quick glance behind, what …
Seems to me, while I was out, there was some kind of row I've had a look, to my relief, it is all over now But in this big debate, I got a message thru on Kik Seems this little argument has left an iPuss sick Now I'm not saying there was no…
Today I appear to have what is, to me, an extraordinarily high rank on Opuss. And whereas I wouldn't normally shout from the rooftops about such a thing, I realise that I could never have earned it without all of you. So, before I slide ba…
What a prick. I mean, I didn't know the man, and he didn't know me, but when you get all in my face like that, there's only going to be one outcome. And I wasn't in any kind of mood for his bullshit, not tonight. He was a big man, but I'd …
Should I stay or should I go Or shall I just go with the flow You may fade, you may grow If you never try you never know Hide or make myself stand proud Be outside or join the crowd Keep it in or cry out loud Crumple or remain unbowed Lock …
Going to see the 'family' tonight And it'll be a laugh alright We're only together once in a while But rest assured, we'll do it in style 'Mum' will have been cooking all day Her food's fantastic, for her curries I pray My 'brother' and I w…
I can remember back in the day When technology wasn't exactly au fait A personal stereo, the gadget to wear With headphones that would obscure your hair A hi-fi system the length of the room With six foot speakers that just went BOOM Person…
I have to report sad news today A musical legend has passed away My mother used to listen to you And I rather liked it, so I listened too I remember MacArthur's Park Played it from morning 'til well after dark The songs you sing give so muc…
Hey, how you doing bro I hear you been a stressin' Stop, take a minute though Your mind has been a messin' Hey, how you feeling bro Take a break, then keep on writin' Because, and I think you know The people you're delightin' Hey, how you …
Fear me, I'm the madman And I'll do silly things Like trying to get on in life Whilst flying without wings Hear me, I'm the music man And I play awesome drums Until I'm up on my mind's stage Then I'm all fingers and thumbs Call me, I'm your…
Up at some ridiculous hour I wouldn't like to say I'll do all that's in my power Get thru my usual day Get to work, park the car In the regular bay I really wish I could crawl far From my usual day But here in my profession I can write away…
I passed an art gallery one day A painted lady was looking my way Asked the owner, what is the fee? Nothing mate, you can take her for free So home we went, my lady and I And I grew to love her as time went by But I soon discovered her stra…
I blush at all the praise you bring Flattered? Oh yes, at the poem you sing Remember though, it's not about me Everyone love an iPuss you see We all want to read when you're in town Batman, erotica, feeling up, feeling down A starring role…
He opened up the post, it was a letter, quite a sight Decree Absolute across the top in black and white He read it once, and then again, upon his face a smile He'd have to tell his mates at work, in just a little while So he spent the day s…
When she wants to share her day with you And tell you that she's feeling blue Talk to her When she comes home sad and upset And says to you not now, not yet Feel for her When she's upon the highest high The pair of you could touch the sky …
Standing on the beach Water at my toes Aroma of the salty sea Drifting past my nose Sounds of children playing Castles in the sand Lovely blue and cloudless sky The ice cream seller's stand Sun is shining brightly Shades reduce the glare G…
I was blue and lonely, couldn't sleep a wink And I could only get unconscious if I'd had too much to drink I needed inspiration, someone to call a muse But I didn't really know who on earth to choose And then a random comment made by someon…
Went into the music shop to buy a new guitar But they were all to pricey, too much cash by far The elderly shopkeeper fixed me with a grin Handed me a triangle and a case to keep it in He said please do not be deceived, for it is so much mo…
I don't know you, and you don't know me But I like to see people smiling, you see And that's why I accepted your invite To write you a personal poem tonight I've formed an impression of you in my mind Been hurt before, men were unkind But …
A moonlight serenade is something I could never do Nor romantic dinner 'cos I'm skint, can't pay for two I can't buy you new outfits, I'm banned from all the shops 'Cos when I try to pay for them my credit card just stops They say the way …
Good afternoon Madames, Monsieurs Have I caught you at your leisure? Anything you need is yours No questions, it's my pleasure Just ask me for your hearts desire No need to tell me twice Hotter than a funeral pyre But you'll have to pay my …
Hey you, where've you been Quite a while since I've seen Your face around my neighbourhood Give me a call, if you would It's ages since that winter walk When we had our final talk About the future, cares and hopes I'm feeling up against the…
At the end of my garden there is a hole It wasn't left there by a mole Great big thing, it's 6ft wide And I don't know what lies inside Every day and every night Can't see in, there is no light I'll have to jump in, just to see Satisfy my c…
Torn, ripped at the seams A life that once was shared Full of broken dreams That cannot be repaired You just wouldn't try Walking in my shoes And couldn't see that I Had it all to lose Tell me time will heal The hurt that still remains An …
Opussians gathered on the shore Reflecting on the night before Fighting over, battle done Body bruised but man! what fun Friendships new and friendships old Will come together as stories are told But what is it that smells so fine Bacon sa…
We interrupt this broadcast of The Battle to bring a news flash. In the middle of all this fighting, it seems I have found my 200th follower. IndiaSparrow, take a bow. And eternal thanks to all of you, without whom etc... Ok, back to our …
Battle lines drawn in the mud Rivers flowing red with blood Bravest souls upon each side Have crashed and burned, fought and died Then upon Opussia's shore The warrior priest arrived once more Flexing powerful angels wings A shining light t…
There is a fella called Fred He has a big round head He wears a red flower See him and cower For it'll only mean that you're dead He came for the girl with red hair Fred calmly led her to where The souls that had passed Were having a blast …
Softly, softly, heart be still Be calm and listen, if you will Gently, gently, all is right Shield me from tempestuous night Darkly, darkly, hear sirens cry To burn my wings they can but try Deeply, deeply, feel the power That comes within …
Creative wings are meant to spread The wondrous words within your head So please continue, pick your muse Give inspiration for us to use Angels wings are used to fly Describe and paraphrase the sky Flash of smile, a single tear Make no mist…
The mirror spoke to me today What is it that you seek? Your life is full of choices made You've been both strong and weak When you were young you played the Game A life of fair excess But now you're older, young man's flame Should really h…
Daywalker and Darkman were musing over lunch Bacon sarnies I believe, rind with extra crunch I believe, said Darkman slowly, that if you left the light The world would be a better place, everlasting night Most people feel that they can seal…
For Weirdwolf and Cinders, especially. Took the liberty, hope you don't mind... The croupier stood sighing As she dealt another hand She thought it would be busy But the shift had turned quite bland And then by chance, an upward glance To…
I would just like to say, That even though the title slipped away, I've had a bit of naughty play, Everyone's had lots to say Took part in attempt to slay The Dark Priestess this very day. My mind is in a happy way Mr. Fingers, won't you…
Ok red, here's number five I think I'm just about alive I've taken pleasure and some pain Can I really take this strain Running fingers thru your hair Hear you gasp, hold you there Doesn't matter who thinks what This afternoon's been so da…
Crumpled is as crumpled does It's giving me a certain buzz Bedroom is a total wreck Lipstick stains around my... neck Breathing heavy, what a day Wouldn't have had it another way Bring to end this little dare Played with a girl with sweet …
Part 2 The Evil Queen's ball, Nyx holding court Unaware of what retribution was sought Five warrior souls stood tall and strong If they played it right, it wouldn't take long Softly and slowly they crept to the hall Where Nyx and her suito…
Clothes lay crumpled on the floor Evidence of the night before Early night with candles lit Lingerie with plunging slit Bodies heave, softest sighs Deep inside the passion lies All too soon it's over, done Prepare yourself, that's just roun…
I walk in the valley each day Sometimes green and full of hope Sometimes wonder if I'll cope I talk in the valley each day Whether or not somebody's there I'll chat away, I don't care I sleep in the valley all night Colour, sometimes monoc…
All is calm on Sunday Won't be that way for long For this afternoon at two o'clock The footie will be on See, I support the red half As many people do And if City win today I really will be blue So today I am supporting The smaller team by …
Drummer boy, rhythm king We need you to do your thing Feel the beat, percussions power Will see us thru the midnight hour Singer's fine, guitarists wail But without you all would fail Bassman your partner in crime Will look to you to keep t…
Corner store late at night Owner working 'til daylight All of a sudden, to shock and stun In ran robber, complete with gun Give me the money and don't mess about! This young thug was heard to shout But he hadn't reckoned on the bloke at the…
Hello Nick, you're back I see What are you doing here? Didn't think that you were due 'Til this time next year Hello my son, the time has come To pay the price you owe I gave you an extension But now it's time to go Oh really Nick? It's j…
Should I paper over cracks Or let them open wide Shall I bottle all my secrets And place them to one side Should I stay above the ground Or welcome the abyss Shall I aim at my life's target And throw daggers 'til I miss Should I open up th…
There's a button on my head And I don't know what it's for Maybe if I press it I could find out some more The button's red in colour And really rather round I had hoped it would make music But it hasn't made a sound Is it, then, for inspir…
Tomorrow things will be alright There will be nothing wrong Tomorrow all is shining bright To make us all feel strong Tomorrow everything is free Be sure to take your share Tomorrow government's decree Is that they'll all play fair Tomorro…
A prince was riding out one day Across his many lands And came across a withered crone A rose clutched in her hands She said to him, in husky tones Sir, will you hear my plight? A storm is coming, I have no food Would you shelter me tonight…
Beyond the sea and far away A small fantastic land Idyllic, peaceful, beautiful For those with words at hand It's name is Opussia And it's a secret world you see Words are the admission price And speech is always free Come join us in this p…
My body's giving signs That it might like to stop That's a crying shame Don't feel fit to drop Starting to feel pain A wasted life's excess Try so hard to win Without much success Should I just give up Let the sirens sing Prepare for longes…
Parker washed the pink Rolls Royce One fine and sunny day Lady Penelope asked for service In a very special way She said I'm feeling sexy And you will have to do No other puppets live close by You don't mind, do you? Geoff Tracy has turned …
It seems to be a much nicer, better day today...
His name was Jonah Johnson And plumbing was his skill His house caught fire one awful night And his family were killed He thought he'd like to join them And considered it awhile But Jonah had a precious gift His jokes made people smile A wo…
Deep below, underground lair Coolest club with smoky air Come along, ten 'til late Music will intoxicate Feel the rhythm soothe your soul Percussion in a starring role Trumpet player blows his horn Breathe sweet sounds until the dawn Chill…
A lot of us were involved in an argument today Over someone's point of view and what he had to say He'd taken it upon himself to pick upon a lass But Opussites then showed their might And defended her with class The guy stood firm for far t…
I walk amid the lamplight Of these quiet city streets I'll politely tip my hat To strangers that I meet But I only search for food The liquid that I need To purge the darkest lust To satisfy this greed It hasn't always been this way I was o…
Sick note day today, busy busy... And drumming tonight Looking forward to catching up later tho, because I know that some of you just...don't...sleep... I've got a note from my mum. No, seriously...!
Night time falling everything blue Can't stop feeling I should be with you Try to be strong, haven't the might Everything's wrong and baby that ain't right Suppressed emotion, can't seem to say I'd give you devotion, but I lost the way Body…
His name is Bongo Pete He plays 'em in the street He'll knock upon your door And then he'll play some more! A complicated beat Is what old Bongo Pete Can lay down with his hands He's played with all the bands! There's lots of happy feet Whe…
A brash young man drove into town To eat the hottest food around He looked out for a place to dine A sign said "Ed's", that'll do fine He walked right in, sat right down Ed just looked him up and down I guess you came here for my chilli? No…
Little Johnny's playing All around the house Loud as a battalion Quiet as a mouse In his room with Lego Building knobbly towers So much joy, this Danish toy Will keep him there for hours He's got all the Action Men He's got Dinky cars He h…
Won't you come and spend some time In paradise with me? It's beautiful and fragrant Best of all it's free Feel the rush, your tender touch As I gently take your hand And lead you to the shoreline Our bare feet on the sand It will be so perf…
Won't be writing much today But please don't think me gone I can't resist, Opuss I'll miss It's just my day'll be long! And horrible and messy and tiring... Bloody work! Put this up again cos today is my sick note day. And I'm drumming t…
The day is over all too soon Let's sit awhile by light of moon Late night whispers of cloud float by Beauty captured in your eye Try to catch a falling star The sweetest thing I know by far To watch the planets turn anew And sit and share i…
Woke up Monday morning, feeling fine Certain I could walk the line Having spent the night alone Thought I'd better check my phone But there was nothing from you Did some shops, spent some cash Bank account's about to crash Drove too fast,…
Life is for the living It isn't for the dead So let's get on and try to push The bad things from your head You could sit and fester But when push comes to shove You'll love what you destroy And destroy the thing you love So take a super v…
A glance thru my window Revealed to me A calm, still morning For all to see A field of green Beside a lake Layer of mist A spell to break A dog walker His faithful hound Carrying a stick His master'd found Then you walked past Then and t…
You Your sweet desire Me Fuel my fire Burn With lover's flame Yearn A crying shame Time Keeps us apart And Heals lonely heart Still No one can know Just Let it grow Intense Feel the rush Breathe Take my touch Embrace Glorious night U…
Soothe a restless heart With your lovely words Free a lonely soul Make it fly like birds Take me on a journey To who on Earth knows where Could be east, could be west As long as you are there
I heard rumours, are they true? Second hand news 'bout me and you You followed your dreams, caused me pain I'm never going back again But please don't stop, go your own way Free as a songbird, seize the day I will stay bound by the chain Y…
The night is young The street is dark Here is where I make my mark Check my make up In the glass My skirt's too short Just hides my ass Try to get A man's attention Just for half an hour's affection There goes Dave He sees me But he's wi…
The secrets that I keep As I try to fall asleep Are so many and so numerous They prevent me counting sheep They would lay my soul bare Should they ever come to air I sometimes get to wondering If it's easier not to care But that's not me at…
A blush... Not much Tells me how you feel And I sense it in your touch A sigh... Oh my A sweet exhalation Result of exultation A friend... Will mend Keep you safe and warm Until the bitter end So why Not try Be so good and glad There's jo…
Adverts on the telly Can really drive me mad Why are they so awful? They really are quite bad If you wanna sell me something Please try telling the truth You never know your stock might go Flying thru the roof But no, you keep on lying To …
There is a lovely lady At the end of my phone She goes by several names Is unfortunately alone I stand by to help you Let the bad times roll Away until forgotten Yours, a kindred soul
A Harrods bag was seen one day Discarded in the street Upon first glance it seemed to hold Some cheeses and some meat A passer-by had noticed this And soon he'd spread the word That when he had got closer A ticking could be heard Police wer…
Three blind mice... Scurrying on the floor Couldn't see the pussycat Behind the kitchen door Two blind mice... Fell into a hole One got out, but the other Now lives like a mole One blind mouse... Not so blind you see He's not dumb, he live…
It's come to my attention Among some other things It seems I am no use to you Without my puppet strings I'm just a wooden marionette I'm just a wooden toy But I have feelings in my heart Just like any other boy You played with me for hours…
Slow...don't go So much I need to tell you Things that you should know Hush...no rush Lay down here beside me Responsive to my touch Stay...all day Alone in the twilight Won't you light our way Please...don't tease Beauty in the firelight Y…
A bringer of smiles, my charm beguiles A playful soul, that's me But deep inside, it's sad, I've cried Plain for all to see A raconteur, please listen sir, I hold court rather well But it's all fake, I cannot take The gloom in which I dwell…
She's there when I wake up She's there again at night She plays within the darkness But she prefers the light She paints a pretty picture That gets inside my head Sure that she'd still haunt me If I were to be dead She likes to keep a secre…
Luke Skywalker's retirement hadn't gone to plan His guest list short, I know, he thought, I'll invite Leia and Han But their marriage soured And had really hit the skids She'd been seeing Lando and had ran off with the kids Then he thought…
My OCD's invaded every single day Got this affliction on the cheap but boy, it makes me pay Invited to a party, we're ready but please wait We're not going anywhere 'til the remotes are straight I'm checking all the windows before I go to b…
Can I please just say Happy Star Wars day! May the fourth be with you...
It seems it is official One hundred followers amassed This really is quite special A great big milestone passed It's something so important A building block as such It's time to say I'm here to stay And Thank You all so much! Seriously th…
I chanced upon the wise man Sitting atop a pole I asked him why, he cast an eye And said "to cleanse my soul" I marvelled at his wisdom And asked him could it be That he'd impart his blessed heart Unto the likes of me He looked at me and s…
Lost In your eyes Is where I Want to be Share with me Set us free Lost In my mind It's where you Never went to Please be true Make it new Lost All the time That we had Where we shone All gone Must be wrong To be So lost
Inspiration comes from many places People I meet, the looks on their faces Furtive glance, a secret smile To lift and warm your heart for a while A winning bet, result on the horses Gourmet meal with a dozen courses The human condition is …
Tell me what you want Tell me what you feel Tell me to let go of the steering wheel Tell me when you're happy Tell me when you're sad Tell me when I'm being good or when I'm being bad Tell me if you like it Tell me if you don't Tell me if y…
Sculptor waited for his muse He'd been there half the day "I wish that she would hurry up I've got bills to pay" It was to be his masterpiece For everyone to admire And he planned to sell it on So that he could retire But she didn't show at…
Sitting here watching Gary Moore play on tv. R.I.P man I miss the noise you made on that strat. Just thought I'd say so
Oh my god! It's a chocolate fix Comprising of Mars bar, Snickers and Twix I know that it's bad, this choccy I munch What makes it worse is I've just been to lunch Forego the sarnies, the regular food I know that I shouldn't but man, it tast…
Tear at me searching for weaker seams You've taken my passion, stolen my dreams You welcomed my downfall, my tears delightful Misery by day heartbreak at nightfall I took the highs, now time for the lows My heart and soul weak from your bo…
As I lay upon the grass Gazing at the sky I conjure mental images In clouds that float on by There's one that is big and fat It looks just like a whale And this one's like a little pig Complete with curly tail Polar bears and penguins Lion…
A copper and a robber Were perusing on their lot Copper noticed what a load Of money robber had got He said to him Oh robber I admire your wily skill Clean getaway, a big payday It must give you a thrill Robber said I must admit It makes my…
I'm a superhero And I've got superpowers I've got x-ray vision I can stare at girls for hours I can fly around the world I can go real fast I can travel to the future I can go back to the past I have strength beyond compare The strongest in…
Are you sure? You wanna hear more What if I see thru your lies Your disguise Looking pretty poor You may say to me This is where I would much rather be I'll find you in the end And I'd help you, but until then... Are you sure? You wanna kn…
One day at St.Peter's Gate God and the Devil spoke And wondered what it would be like If they were normal folk Down they came this mismatched pair To give it a try To be like humans for a while Just like you and I They gave mortality a shot…
Here it is, the stopwatch, Grandad said to me Been passed down throughout the years Made in 1863 Thank you very much but What exactly does it do? He looked at me with a sly grin - It will stop time for you Saying "STOP" will cease all time …
In a field one starry night An alien landed out of sight Not to contact us on Earth Crop circles his missions worth He set to work, a whirring sound While nobody was around Shaping all the farmers crop 'Til alien was fit to drop Mission ove…
Souls are hanging from the tree Tonight Your body dangling next to me Tonight Memories dripping from the leaves Emotions recently bereaved Them demons have caught up with thee Tonight Limbs are twitching in the breeze Tonight Your body's …
Director had a camera A movie he did shoot He took it to Hollywood To try and bag some loot He took it to an office Where sat a talent scout Who watched director's movie And afterward did shout What the hell do you call this? This thing's b…
Join the dark side, the Priestess said Tempting, said the poet Won't you dare, you're halfway there You just don't really know it Swell my ranks, she said, and you'll find A blacker way to write Alas, said poet, I'd probably blow it I think…
My name is Death I'll come for you When you least Expect me to In your car On the train Bright sunlight Or driving rain In the day Or in the night I'll come to make Your soul take flight May be silent May be loud Standing single Or in a cr…
Once there was a dancer Cascading flame red hair Suit jackets and leg warmers She didn't seem to care Dancer met a drummer He would watch her shows And when it came to practise To rehearsal he would go Every now and then She would dance wit…
It's dark and it's stormy I'm spending the night In an old deserted house Think I'll be alright It's creepy and scary I've checked all the grounds Been upstairs and downstairs There's no-one around Then all of a sudden An opening gate No-…
There's a cat in my house He's been there for hours There's only one problem This cat is not ours Black and white fella Cute little guy Melted the hearts of My missus and I Comes round in the morning Then he stays all day I throw him back …
Friday night you can picture the sight I've just come from the pub Don't know about you but about this time I tend to start thinking about grub What will it be? A curry perhaps? I really just don't know Got a belly full of beer so maybe not…
As I walked thru the marketplace An old man said to me I have the very thing for you Won't you come and see? He led me from his run down stall Down into the next street I felt a little nervous In fact I had cold feet But then we turned a co…
I'm afraid I have a question A nagging little quip Needs addressing properly Before I lose my grip The simplest of problems I'm sure it can be solved I really do apologise For getting you involved It's nothing but a trifle I'm sure you wi…
Anyone seen my posts today? They were in the feed but seem to have scarpered.
I'm in a room and it is bare Save for light bulb and a chair In front of me there sits a box Has no handles has no locks But on the top there is a switch... Below said switch a printed sign "Press if you are so inclined" My mind was blown …
Windy day, so without a word I leapt and flew just like a bird Over rooftops, fields and hills An ultimately joyous thrill Bank to left and then to right Up on high, fantastic flight It is a very wondrous thing To have your arms acting like…
I'm trying to be a better man Working as hard as I can Staying home not going out Indicate at roundabout Saying my thank you's and my pleases Saying bless you when she sneezes Helping out around the house I'll be quiet as a mouse In return …
I've seen it on your face Feelings vanished without a trace So we'll go our separate ways To be apart until end of days Never again we two Nothing to say nor to do A love that once was grand Falls like snowflakes from our hands To be alone …
Can I brighten up your day? Won't you tell me won't you say Even only for a minute To lift a room and all those in it Alleviate the gloom Of your impending doom Oh to try to make you smile Even just for a short while Forget about the dark …
Wrestle with my solitude Do the best I can Sit alone in silence I am god's lonely man Woke in my clothes this morning Not sure where I be Suffer with the knowledge Of my duplicity Outside nice and quiet Inside voices loud One says go unnoti…
Got an invitation To a party at your house I'll either be the life and soul Or quiet as a mouse Thinking of an outfit New shirt for the day Seen one that I really like But it'll cost me half my pay Stilted conversation With someone I don't …
Fallen angel make no sound As you walk upon the ground No need for words, none do we seek Silently your message speak Spread your song for all to hear Everyone will shed a tear Then repaired, fly thru the rain Back to heaven from whence you…
A spaceman came travelling In a spaceship small and neat He flicked a switch altered his pitch And landed in my street I stood and watched and wondered What it was doing here Then it's door crashed to the floor I nearly dropped my beer The…
As I walked alone I saw A shop that wasn't there before Here, just opposite the park A quaint old place, strange and dark I gingerly opened the door Couldn't even see the floor For piled on high all kinds of stock Decaying, dusty, my path w…
I love it said the postman When I get to a gate I look around and hear no sound No doggies lay in wait Just a minute hold your horses Wait up, alas, alack You played too cool you silly fool The pussycat will attack Just try to get those le…
Once upon a time A goblin said to me How would you like to sing, to write All kinds of poetry I will concoct a potion containing all you need To be aspiring poet On this you'll have to feed Now to add some juices As only goblin knows Som…
Isn't there a better way to travel to the stars Wouldn't it be fun to strap a rocket to our cars Take off from your local airport Must get clearance first Then off we go up and away With a nitrogen fuelled burst First up the moon, cold hea…
A man once said "it's only words" But that is strictly for the birds For words are good words are great Words spread love and nurture hate They help us thru our darkest hour With a subtle, gentle power They lilt and float and sometimes rhym…
Folks I wrote a verse the other day called Rangerover, and I'm afraid I have to shamelessly direct you to this piece in order to appreciate this small tale. Done that? Good. Anyway, popped out for lunch today and we found ourselves in a pla…
Is it me or does everyone own a range rover these days? Adjust your seat position in a hundred different ways Cruising urban roadways Guzzling the gas Five times as many CC's than my little fiat has Lording over all of us in our normal ca…
Seeing that it's Friday, I'm toying with the idea of putting on a little effort that I wrote an age ago after a particularly messy Friday night. Warning: may have some relevance if you're heading out tonight. Anybody...?
Like Marvin said, "What's Going On" I just can't cope I'm not that strong I heard the news today A man's spitting hate down London way A is for Anarchy V for Vendetta When will things ever get better A real life sharp knife gangland war Wha…
Left the house early today My shed - forgot to lock it And that's the reason that I have A dragon in my pocket I know it's not too common I know it's not the norm But every time that he exhales He keeps my fingers warm Only seven inches l…
Everything I ever learn I store inside my head In tiny little boxes coloured yellow green and red Most of it is good to use and therefore is free But some is way too dangerous, kept under lock and key Most stuff sits there harmlessly and I …
Get out of here Qatada Preaching hate to a rabble The only thing you're good for mate Is a decent score at Scrabble Get out of here Qatada Go on, vamoose yourself I wish I were Prime Minister I'd kick you out myself
It's getting late time for bed Wondering what to write There's only one thing that seems apt And that, my friends, is goodnight
Waking driving Ducking diving Working writing Damned exciting Eating drinking Laughing thinking Wishing hoping Dreaming coping That is how my day went Time. Well. Spent.
When I got home from work the other day, I had a shave Now my whiskers have grown back, O follicles behave! It only seems an hour since I scraped you from my face My pesky little whiskers will you never know your place?
Teacher teacher what to do With my career I've come to you I thought I would get some brand new Perspective on what I could do You should know where I belong But it seems that I was wrong Hence I've written out this song Your attitude to…
I'm on a secret journey Come along for the ride Follow or just like my stuff There is no need to hide This trip I make is yours to take If you're so inclined Write some verse it's not a curse When you open up your mind Make music with a col…
If you'd be so kind I'd like to read your mind Are you maybe just like me Seeking out some poetry To read, and then go on to be Waxing philosophically I'd like to be beside Things you keep inside Places that you may have seen People that yo…
Love, for me, is many things The way the blackest blackbird sings The freshest air the frosty dawn The brightness of a sunny morn Chasing shadows in the rain Fantastic creatures in my brain Wandering round a London park Watching movies in t…
I wonder what would happen if the sky were painted green Would it be the finest spectacle you'd ever seen I wonder if a dog walked backwards waggling its head Would it ever find its way into its cosy bed I wonder if all football wasn't paid…
A weeping willow said to me I'm crying uncontrollably Because all of the other trees Are growing skyward unlike me There there I said don't be depressed You're better dressed than all the rest And where better than your shady bed For me to …
Not very nice outside I think the weathermen have lied Not too good inside For that is where the work resides What am I to face Stuck between a rock and a hard place Should have stayed in bed Let happy dreams roam in my head
In my mind's eye I can see Creatures of any variety Bats with glasses ants on stilts A cow whose emissions make flowers wilt A cat with antlers a dog with wings A snake that in the morning sings Schools of fish all learning sums To add up d…
Found my soul this morning Sitting on the side Apparently it was in an iPhone app What a place to hide It told me it was in a rut Underused in the main All I needed was to write To set it free again
I got a message from someone I only know his name But there's something else I know He's in the acting game A difficult and challenging role Is what lays ahead But just think, Tom, of all the cheers When you've knocked 'em dead!
Here I stand upon the sand Holding my guardian angel's hand I don't know her name but I'm sure she knows mine And I'm glad she's come down here for a time I can feel the water around my feet What a beautiful place for two people to meet T…
If you gained entrance to my mind I'm pretty sure that you would find All manner of fantastic things Bumbledogs with fold out wings A list of all of England's kings Songs to make your spirit sing And poems to make your heart go ping Colours…
Starlight shine bright Lift the gloom of darkest night Take me to the highest height Make my happiness take flight
The Joker and the Batman Thought it would be a ruse To see what their lives might be like In each others shoes It looked like fun What they had done Thru Gotham's neon nights But Joker couldn't get with Wearing pants outside his tights
Dear Alfred Hitchcock I hear that you were fond Of mistreating the occasional blonde Why not cast a nice brunette She wouldn't put up with it I'll bet
I know a man called Kenny B He thinks he's a Russian oligarch But he's the same as you and me Except he glows in the dark
Dream all day and all of the night Dream of dreams I've had Some dreams are nice and make me smile Other dreams are bad I dream of fantastic creatures Of lilting lyrics too But the bestest dreams I ever dream Are the dreams I dream of you
In my house I have nothing at all But a spectral apparition in my hall She stands alone just floating there With silvery moonbeams in her hair Sometimes I just stand and stare Wondering if she's aware It seems she doesn't even care What wo…
The owl and the pussycat went to sea And were eaten by a manatee The moral here just has to be If you're avian or feline, stay in a tree
I have to say on this grey day I'm enjoying writing all this verse Frees my brain, keeps me sane At least that's what I tell my nurse
I've got a lot of rubbish But I can't afford a skip So I employed the Tango Man To take it to the tip He asked a burly garbageman "Am I in the right place?" Then he ran about and slapped employees round the face
I've got a lot of rubbish But I can't afford a skip So I employed the Tango Man To take it to the tip He asked a burly garbageman "Am I in the right place?" Then he ran about and slapped employees round the face
The frogaroo is blue Has six legs too And I saw one Jump twice as high as you
The camelopterus walked along the prom and She looked mighty fine. A man called Vic then took a pic And posted it online
I saw the chattergoat today Wearing a wide brimmed hat I heard him say "For Goodness Sake"... And that was the end of that.
The doodlecat walked past today Having caught a train from Santa Fe He didn't have that much to say So off he slinked on his merry way
Been a bad day. Is it worth the pay? I don't earn a lot So I'm afraid the answer is "Not".
I wish, I wish, I had a fish.
I wish, I wish, I had a fish.
Had sunday dinner. Drank wine. Got pissed. Visited toilet. Aimed. Missed.
Had sunday dinner. Drank wine. Got pissed. Visited toilet. Aimed. Missed.
Hip hip hooray It's a nice sunny day. But it'll probably rain. Again...
Living in the ceiling Is a peculiar feeling. I look around And you're all upside down.
Ooey gooey was a worm, a little worm was he. He sat upon the railroad tracks, the train he did not see. Ooey gooey...