8 January 2013
An oldie, with a new title and new lines, dusted off and posted especially for @burrahobbit
Sherlock Holmes had decided to play Much to Watson's obvious dismay 'Holmes, you really should be solving this riddle Instead of scratching at that infernal fiddle The police can't solve this conundrum So it's to you, Sherlock, for help they come' The great detective then laid down his bow Said, 'Watson, there's something that you should know I'm sure you reckon I'm rather smart And deduction is somewhat an art But I am really not all that clever I'm a regular fellow, my real name is Trevor 221b is only a rental The fact that we live here is coincidental I know to you it's a matter of pride But I couldn't crack these mysteries if I tried! From taking these cases I should be barred In fact, I'll leave it all to Lestrade This charade can't last, dear Doctor, I'm spent It's the reason I take the seven percent' The Doctor said, 'Mycroft. Is he but a sham?' 'Yes, just an actor I found in East Ham' With that revelation, Holmes lit up his pipe And with his kerchief, gave the mouthpiece a wipe
Watson couldn't believe his ears His greatest friend for all these years Stood faithfully by as Holmes built up his fame And now knew Sherlock by a different name 'Well now, old boy, if this is the way It's going to be for us from today I'll do the detecting if you don't mind As your last case was a cinch to unwind You deducted the Duchess had done the deed But she was out riding her favourite -ahem- steed You got it so wrong and I don't mean to be cruel But it was the butler, you clueless fool!'
Holmes just stood there with a blank face He'd been well and truly put in his place 'Sherlock Watson. Well I never' 'Elementary, my dear Trevor...'
Elementary • Opuss № I