15 November 2012
I don't know who wrote this, or where it came from. It was handed to me at work, I found it funny and thought I'd share. Enjoy...
Once again this year, I've had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes. Please keep in your cookbook as I'm beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! I made mine this morning...
Ingredients: 1 cup sugar Half lb butter 1 tsp. baking powder 1 cup water 1 tsp. salt 1 cup brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle vodka 2 cups dried fruit 4 cups self raising flour
Sample a cup of vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again to ensure it's of the highest quality and repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up from the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl one piece at a time whilst trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something. Check the vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the feckin' window, finish off the vodka and wipe the counter with the feckin' cat...
Vodka Christmas Cake • Opuss № I