Bloody silly Mayans
And their apocalypse
They must have all been smoking
Substances that give you trips
I took it all on board
Built a bunker underground
To keep me safe from Earth's destruction
Fire and brimstone all around
I stocked it to the brim
Tinned food and drinking water
Batteries for my torches
So I could see our races slaughter
I took two of every animal
In my subterranean ark
Feeding time's a nightmare
In the last zoological park
So with everything prepared
I was ready, in the zone
I had a cry and said goodbye
To all I'd ever known...
When I awoke this morning
Imagine my surprise
To find the world still turning
And that the Mayans told me lies
I suppose I should have guessed
Shouldn't have placed my trust
In a smart arsed race from yesteryear
Who themselves had turned to dust
The animals are all loose
I had to set them free
Come on down to Essex
For a dirt cheap safari
It seems we've all survived
The day we feared so long
They may have had their calendar
But they sure got the date wrong
And the bunker in my garden
Will take some filling in I fear
I'd make the Mayans do it
If only they were here
So yes they got it wrong
And I'll finish off my rhyme
Toasting your health. But, note to self
There may well be another time...
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