16 July 2012
Drunken skinny dipper Swimming on her back Couldn't see the shadow Lurking, waiting to attack 'Twas on Amity Island Thirty seven years ago The mayor was in denial The townsfolk didn't know 'Close the beaches!' said the chief A New Yorker called Brody But chief, the 4th's upon us And we need the dollar, see? So they went against his wisdom The Kintner boy was killed It took him in the shallows And plenty blood was spilled The council had to face it They had to form a plan They'd hire someone to kill it A grizzled mad fisherman He said, 'My hide's worth plenty You'll pay me or you'll not But if you do you'll get the head The tail, the whole damned lot'
So Brody, Quint and Hooper Set off aboard the Orca To stop the town from going down At the fins of this huge porker Hooper drove the boat Quint annoying everyone Rope tying and boredom Out in the searing sun Brody's not a sailor And he's had enough of it 'Slow ahead? I can do that... Come and chum some of this shit!' Then finally, Bruce, our villain Appears to take his bow A twenty footer. 'Twenty five...' Quint's not so cocky now Chief Brody stood and stared While old Bruce appeared to gloat You could just hear Brody say 'You're gonna need a bigger boat...' Quint then shoots some barrels Attached to a harpoon 'He can't go under. Not with three...' Surely Bruce'll drown quite soon And then a quiet moment In the still of night Quint, it seems, was a Marine And a story comes to light About the Indianapolis And the fate that lay in store Quint won't wear a lifebelt No way, not now, no more
But no-one, not even Spielberg Had told our Bruce the script Returning with a vengeance Holes in the Orca ripped Quint is bit in two Hooper in a cage Chief Brody left, on sinking boat To face the Great White rage He's clinging to the mast This could be his final day But Bruce is chewing something That could swing things Brody's way A canister of gas Surely a dietary glitch Brody takes a careful aim 'Smile, you son of a bitch...'
Contains lines from the film. ©Universal Studios, I should think...
A Fishy Tale • Opuss № I