21 November 2012
I'm standing in a queue Stretching out in front of me She wants a skinny latte I only want some tea Been here for an age And I've only moved an inch From his charm offensive The barista doesn't flinch Good morning, can I help you? Can I take your name? I look at him, incredulous No you can't if it's all the same Skinny latte and some tea Is all I want today Please just take the order Then I'll bugger off and pay After much -ahem- discussion I told him it was Lee Now, can I take your order? Skinny. Latte. And. Some. Tea. Which tea would you like? Would you like a slice of cake? What was the name again? Which seat will you take? Tall? Medium? Grande? Are you taking the piss? Signing the Magna Carta Wasn't as hard as this Listen Mister Barista I know you think it's cool But I hate coffee culture So listen closely, fool I don't want a cherry muffin I don't have a loyalty card It's just so convoluted Long division's not this hard Please just fill my order Skinny latte and some tea Pour it in some cups Put it down in front of me When you've accomplished that Our business will be done I only want two drinks Before the setting of the sun...
It's only milky coffee For all its fancy dress I'm surely not the only one Who feels so much distress And all she ended up with Was a tepid cup of foam Next time she wants latte I'll make her one at home...
At The Costa My Sanity, or Starbollocks • Opuss № I