Cooking Fat

A true story...

Cannot quite take in the sight
That greeted me today
The cat was banshee howling
Out you go I say!
That wasn't what he wanted
It was too early to think
He didn't want food either
Perhaps he needs a drink
Opened up the bathroom
And put some water down
I swear if he had eyebrows
He'd have given me a frown
What is it, you noisy bastard!
Please give me a clue
And while you're at it move your tail
'Cos I really need the loo
With that he just brushed past me
And you may not believe this
He perched upon the toilet seat
Then proceeded to take a piss!
He sat there, quite contented
Until the bowl was filled
I have to say I was impressed
As not a drop was spilled
I'd found out what he wanted
At last, the howling hushed
I know he ain't got thumbs
But at least he could have flushed
He gave a look as if to say
What are you looking at?
And it was Dave. He's not even ours!
Cheeky cooking fat...
But in the end I had to laugh
At this morning's feline farce
Thank god it weren't the other
'Cos I'm not wiping his arse!