12 November 2012
As you trudge along the high street
In your dog-eared Santa hat
What you need's a super shop
That'll sell you this and that
Loads of bags from different stores
And resentment on your face
Why isn't there a shop
That sells everything in one place
You'll need presents for the old'uns
And the young'uns too
The naffest socks, a selection box
And some neon day-glo glue
You're gonna need some batteries
Of varying strength and size
Some chocolate liqueurs
And some just in date mince pies
Mini screwdriver set
And of course a sewing kit
Buttons popping after dinner
It's worth buying. Isn't it?
The cheap CD's and videos
That HMV would never sell
Does grandad like Don Williams?
Get one for Dad as well
You're criss-crossing the high street
Remembering a store
Had these things in abundance
Sold all you need and more
So where the bloody hell is Woolworths?
A store we grew to love
Bowler hat with sleeves
And yellow leather gloves
Some ancient cheap perfume
That would strip the bark from trees
Books older than the bible
And... hang on, what are these?
But it didn't really matter
Shopping done under one roof
And better fun than Tesco
If you want to know the truth
But no, you've gone and left us
Zig-zagging in the snow
Sadly reminiscing
Of a shop we used to know
Christmas without Woolworths
Is like an unsolved sum
You'll have to try the shop nearby
Poundland, here we come...
Where The Bloody Hell Is Woolworths? • Opuss № I