4 May 2012
Luke Skywalker's retirement hadn't gone to plan
His guest list short, I know, he thought,
I'll invite Leia and Han
But their marriage soured
And had really hit the skids
She'd been seeing Lando and had ran off with the kids
Then he thought of someone else - my mentor, Obi-Wan?
But he had gone to Jedi heaven and so had Luke's old man
Looking back he thought of Biggs,
His bestest childhood buddy
But he'd got killed in the first film -
Spectacularly bloody
What about C-3PO? His golden sparkling wit?
Translated something the wrong way and then got blown to bits
There's always R2-D2, cylindrical and squat
He used to host a chat show, but he's been left to rot
Old man Luke thought bugger this
It really is no fun
Killed himself with his lightsabre
And now Jedi's? There are none
So retirement for a Jedi Knight
Couldn't have been worse
Best you use the Force my son
To get into that hearse
Retirement • Opuss № I