How can I help you today?
Assault rifles? Yessiree!
They're on special offer
Buy one get one free!
They're flying off the shelves
And ideal for home defence
But that's not why you want one
When will you all see sense?
You claim the constitution
It's not just that any more
You've got firearms by your bedside
And one hanging at every door
Your arsenal is extensive
Bear traps, sharp sticks and knives
All equally effective
At taking innocent lives
And while you spend your day
Proudly polishing your guns
And quoting home protection
They're in the hands of your sons
With a beef against whatever
Maybe he didn't like his hair
He'd repel an invading army
With the guns he'd brought to bear
Is it then the rage takes over?
When you hold one in your hands?
Or does that only come
When we see remembrance stands
Hopefully your gun laws
Are about to hit the skids
When the only thing they do
Is help you mow down your own kids
At the local church
There's a service for the dead
Light a solemn candle
For the township, bow your head
It's quite a thing to kill a man
Instinct born and bred
Make sure the safety's off
Just before you go to bed
And now the true grief has arrived
Constitutionally
Everybody's up in arms
At the threat to liberty
I'm all for home protection
But there are ways and means
Staying on this path
Leads to elementary murder scenes...
Meanwhile, in the gun shop
A choice is made, not hard
A hundred thousand rounds
To protect his own back yard
He keeps them safely locked
But everybody's got a key
Only in America
Home of the brave, land of the free...
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