17 October 2012
Being Hallowe'en I thought I'd get myself a lass
One I didn't need to drug with a modicum of class
No candidate came forth so I checked within my feed
And I scoured all of Opussia for the body parts I'd need
I started with the basics, I started at the top
And when she wasn't looking I scalped Princess Feather's mop
I chanced upon our Kimmi, but she wouldn't lend her head
But I took what I could get, irrationality instead
So with no bonce to speak of, had to use what I could find
And then I thought of Terri. Hope she didn't mind...
Moving further down, I figured on some naughty bits
And although she wasn't willing I took Kims titanium tits
Hands and arms from Eddie, who likes a morning brew
She was underneath her duvet, I don't think she ever knew
A body now, to stitch 'em to, as I didn't have one yet
So I took it from our Nicola, famous bikini vet
Then to the lower limbs, for I'd forgot the feet and legs
Sienna kinda 'volunteered' her dancers pair of pegs
A finish with a flourish, something that spoke to me
Nat was on her doorstep so I stole her cup of tea
A little nip and a little tuck performed with bloody knife
And on Hallowe'en I flicked the switch to give the gift of life
As it staggered off the slab I surveyed this mess I'd made
The result was quite the monster and not worth the price they'd paid
It couldn't dance or write, and what an error, metal tits!
I reached out for my knife and I hacked it back to bits
Looking back at the experiment it seems I went too far
So I returned you all to Opuss, where you're all perfect as you are...
Meddle • Opuss № I