13 December 2012
Looking for Xmas pressies online?
Not sure where to get 'em from?
Purse strings as tight as a chickens arse?
Welcome to Scroogle.com!
For the discerning tightwad
We've perfumes at less than half price
They're packaged to look like the real ones
But guaranteed not to smell very nice
We've got bootleg CD's and blu-rays
Fake ones are better than nowt
They load up and play (if you wait half the day)
Don't complain when you can't get 'em out
For those of you counting the pennies
We've got things they can't shift in the shops
Bottles of beer out of date since last year
That came from a barrel of slops
Genuine (ahem) cut crystal glasses
And bowler hats with sleeves
You're better off buying from Scroogle™
Than from the garage on Christmas Eve
They'll see you loaded with pressies
You're the family's diamond geezer
Where'd you get 'em from? Scroogle.com!
Prepare to be called Ebeneezer...
Everyone will be truly 'thankful'
That you shopped at Scroogle™, no doubt
You may be tight, but just for one night
Get your f@%#ing wallet out!
Scroogle™ • Opuss № I