18 January 2013
Oh no! Look at the sky! It's gonna snow today! The country's gonna shut, as befits the British way I've emptied out my boot and I've filled it up with stuff Like pitons, rope and food, I hope it's gonna be enough It's gonna be torrential! There's gonna be some blizzards! I trust the people on TV, they're snow forecasting wizards It'll be a brand new Ice Age, like The Day After Tomorrow The truth, good Essex people, I announce with no small sorrow
Is that this afternoon , when the snow is due to fall Instead of six foot snowdrifts, there'll be most likely bugger all The trains won't need excuses as all good commuters know They're staying in the stations 'cos it's the wrong kind of snow All the schools will close, and education goes awry Boilers -ahem- 'pack up' with single snowflake in the sky The skivers sit at home, no they won't be in today A yeti ate my car, I can't get in another way
It's the same old tired story when the snow is due in town Even when there's just enough to dust the freezing ground We'll return to Mighty Blighty when all the snow has gone Now if you'll just excuse me, I forgot to put my skis on...
Snowdrifts? Or a Couple of Sniffs... • Opuss № I