6 December 2012
A true story.
Mickey was a randy git I knew from my old pub If a girl walked in the door his hands would join and start to rub He knew he was good looking and his head would sometimes swell His hair was 80's highlights, he had a Pontiac as well With an Obi-Wan Bacardi and a Toobee Tobermory We had many a drunken lock-in and survived to tell the story His oversized libido always seemed to be at play I called him Mickey Hormone, and still do to this day
But then our Mickey changed, for he'd gone and found a girl A lovely blonde called Lindsey had put his hormones in a whirl Suddenly all was different, and all was re-arranged Everyone could see that he had well and truly changed Out with dated Firebird and in with brand new van We couldn't quite believe it. Mickey Hormone, family man? But they still came to the pub, and one Sunday Mickey said We're off to Hawaii, where me and Lindsey will be wed Back from honeymoon I'd never seen a pair so happy We'd clearly named him well, as he stood holding a nappy! It could only mean one thing; that Lindsey's in the club You should have heard the roar that emanated from the pub...
Some months later on and Lindsey'd duly given birth To the sweetest little bubba that had ever graced the Earth There were Obi-Wan Bacardis, the odd Toobee Tobermory And as we celebrated, came the ending to this story They'd tried in vain to name her, they had argued, they were torn They cited lack of inspiration, though she was Christmas born 'Lee, what shall we call her?' What did he think I'd say? 'Little Holly Hormone.' As she's still called to this day.
For Mick, Lindsey and Little Holly, forever The Hormones.
Horny Hairy Happy Hormones • Opuss № I