12 March 2013

I'm going back to 98, when this unfortunate event took place

I'd been on a bit of a bender and was properly pissed out my face

My friend was being evicted, his neighbour just had to complain

A right miserable old git but I cannot remember his name

There was an allotment opposite his flat, where this man would spend his day

I thought of a devious plan and how we could make him pay

It was late at night it happened, when we scaled the allotment wall

This story starts to get a bit weird but I promise you it's not tall

Two drunken men in an allotment at night, laughing until we cried

I told my mate I had a shit hot plan, but in reality I lied

His patch was easy to find, all organized and neat

There were these huge barrels of water, that we kicked over with our feet

We destroyed all his netting and ripped the door off his shed

We was in proper hysterics of laughter and both drunk out of our head

It looked like a bomb had gone off, we had created so much damage

Then to top it all off, I took a shit on his cabbage...

glenI Shit On A Cabbage • Opuss № I