2 February 2013
Today's today's news today and not tomorrows yesterday's today's news.
standard.co.uk reports "Pork DNA found in Halal prison food".
-Good. Once upon a time a prisoner would be happy that their food actually contained food. Them where the days, when even criminals had priorities. Imagine if a non-religious prisoner was fed, what he was led to believe, 100% beef burgers, only to find out that the prison caterers shop at Tesco and it turns out that the 100% beef burger is in fact 35% horse burger. What happens then?. Nothing!. What happens if a Moslem is fed pork against their will?. Words like oppression and human rights get tossed about and riots happen in Bradford... All the while no one even cares about the poor animal that was hung upside down by its legs, had its throat slit and bled to death, slowly, so some twat who's ignored his religions plea 'do not be a criminal' can pick and choose which of his religious beliefs and systems now apply to him. He takes the prison service to court, wins a fucking huge cash lump sum while the non-religious fella who was fed horse, not beef, does not even get a £5 Tesco gift voucher for compensation for the violations of his rights. Sick.
BBC.co.uk reports "Husband jailed for statue killing"
-What?. Is this in England or one of them fucked up countries were you get ten years for holding hands with a woman in public?.
BBC.co.uk reports "Spread of hepatitis C pinpointed"
-Let me guess, Pamela Anderson?.
Nytimes.com reports on "The Boy With a Thorn in His Joints"
-The prequel to the Stieg Larsson classic 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'?.
FoxNews.com reports "The proper way to eat a Triceratops"
- Thanks, I knew I was doing it wrong. It's those damned chopsticks you see, they get me every time.
FoxNews.com reports "NASA beams Mona Lisa to moon with laser"
-What the fuck for?. The Moon has a population of 0 and has been unpopulated since 1972. Your money going to good use America. Just think, for the money they spent doing this, you could have dropped seven bunker buster bombs on a single mud and clay hut in the deserts of Afghanistan.
yourcanterbury.co.uk reports "Tourist trade helping to make Kent farmers grow"
-Physically, mentally, emotionally, agriculturally?.
yourcanterbury.co.uk reports "Remembering the floods of 1953"
-Ironically the only ones old enough to remember can't remember anything since yesterday.
yourcanterbury.co.uk reports "Frank Skinner on how Harry Potter can help religion".
-Too much ButterBeer Frank?.
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