1 February 2013
Yesterday's news today. Because I am not very efficient.
TheArgus.co.uk reports "Ruthless thieves steal candles from Lewes churches"
- That's not ruthless, that is as far away from ruthless as Labrador puppies are. Who steals candles?. If they beat the priest to death with the fourteen stations of the cross in the process, then yes, I would consider these thieves ruthless. What could they possibly get for a dozen half burnt candles?.
TheArgus.co.uk reports "Dead woman was looking for love online".
- Eh?. How did she manage that?. Is it ok to to turn safe search off and Google 'necrophilia' when you are dead?.
London Evening Standard reports "Paris beckons for Becks"
- Confused. Is this one of his kids doing the beckoning or someone else with a silly name?.
BBC.co.uk reports "Vegetarians 'cut heart risk by 32%"
- Proof at last, eating vegetables is bad.
BBC.co.uk reports "'China hackers' attack NY Times"
- Probably in response to yesterday's bizarre headline.
nytimes.com report 'A City Drenched in Sugar'
- Truly the American dream realised. God bless America.
Foxnews.com reports 'Famous celebrities before they were zombies'
- I am slightly annoyed that I missed the apocalypse, nah, I was probably down the pub... good times.
BBC.co.uk report "Big names set for Pakistan League"
- Not taking the piss at all are they?.
BBC.co.uk report "Chinese devour Joyce translation"
- I know they like to censor stuff over there but even this seems a bit extreme.
BBC.co.uk reports "Japan judo coach 'beat athletes''
- I wonder if he considered coaching himself and entering competitions at any point during this.
nytimes.com report 'Israel Ducks on Human Rights'
- At long last Hebrew ducks have their say. 'Times they are a changin'.
News To Me 3:Flogging A Dead Horse • Opuss № I