7 March 2013
Christianity teaches that God (an invisible man who lives in the sky) sentenced his only son to horrendous torture and then an agonising death just because a talking snake persuaded a woman to eat an apple several thousand years earlier. It's not all bad news because Jesus became a zombie a few days later and not long after this he flew on a cloud into space which is very believable. Despite all of these very believable things happening Christians believe Jesus is God but God is God and God can't die except for when God is Jesus and turns into a zombie instead... when he dies. Mormons think, everyone can be a god so technically god is not the only god. They worship Jesus who they believe is a god although I am not certain if they believe he died or did not die.
The Christian god is pretty awesome. Just think of the marvellous things he has done:germicide, regicide, homicide, global genocide and a lot of other words that end in 'cide' that he killed off before we could even discover them probably. The jealousy, cruelty, manipulation, rape and just generally being evil. The list goes on an on. He truly did some praiseworthy stuff why wouldn't one worship him. He obviously deserves it.
God invented some truly wondrous things too, I assume because he has a sense of humour, aids for example and who could ever forget those old classics poverty and cancer. Poverty is so popular in Africa right now that most Africans are at it. They like their aids too. They can't get enough of it. Furthermore Gods messenger on Earth thinks its hilarious too. I mean, why wouldn't he?. He is perhaps the richest most influential man in the world and owns most of the world in terms of land. Even his wealth couldn't buy that type of entertainment. His stance on condoms is clear enough indication that he approves of Gods handy work.
Unfortunately the fun might not last as it appears that Popey has resigned. Who knows what kind of fun his successor will bring to the table. Burning of witches, war on gays, who knows? (apart from god obviously). All I do know though is that a group of maybe one hundred eighty year old virgins will mass debate over who ever the new Pope will be. Doesn't sound too religious that does it?. At least children are not involved, I am looking at you Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria.
Good god?.
The Invisible Man In The Sky • Opuss № I