13 December 2012
Conspiracy theories were created to cover up the coverups that the conspiracy was created to cover up. For example, a conspiracy theory has never been proven to be correct so therefore conspiracy theories work. To add to this statement which I am sure you agree is infallible, have you ever seen an episode of the X-Files that wasn't about some kind of conspiracy theory that is known in popular culture?. There is never an episode in which Fox just stays at home and watches TV all day and has few beers.
There are episodes about genetically engineered soldiers, genies, African folklore creatures and of course aliens. Now, have any of these themes ever been discussed on EastEnders or Sky Sports News or even Deal or No Deal?. The answer, to save you from watching box sets, is no. Exactly. It's a perfect system. It is in fact a conspiracy that these subjects are not discussed on mainstream TV but I will save that for another day.
I would like to draw your attention to one particular conspiracy theory that I have not just made up, just now, and I am in no way making this up as I go along, because if you thought that's what I was doing, it would become a conspiracy theory and then things get complicated. Would it then become a conspiracy that I have carefully and very elaborately seeded?.
The conspiracy I would like to draw your attention to is one of unknown origin. Although some believe it was initiated by a deep cover, secretive, covert section of the Post Office. Stay with me. Have you ever noticed that mail is always delivered at your door at exactly the same time each day, except for Saturdays and Sundays, without fail?. The weather conditions appear to have no impact at all on this phenomenon.
The reason for this, simply to keep you in your home while strange and weird stuff is happening outside. That's right. It's a conspiracy set up to keep you in your homes while other stuff that could also apparently be considered conspiracies are taking place in your very own street.
What happens when I am at work and I miss the postman?, I do not hear you ask.
That's the brilliant part. The stuff that goes on when otherwise you would be at home waiting for your mail does still take place. Because you are not at home and are somewhere else, there is no risk of you witnessing the events I mentioned which could be classed as conspiracies.
There you have it. Definitive one hundred percent proof that conspiracy theories are created to cover up conspiracy theories that are not conspiracies at all but are real life events. I do not know what happens on Saturdays or Sundays in regards to mail... or do I?.
What about the conspiracy which believers state that an invisible man lives in the sky and passes judgement on man. This invisible man created everything and demands to be worshiped because of it. Nah, that's just silly, right?. That guy is obviously real.
The End.
The Eh-Files • Opuss № I