I Think, Therefore I Am.

I was eating a pork pie while sitting under a tree. I don't know what kind of tree it was, it had leaves. I hope that is descriptive enough for you. In this moment of clarity I realised, as if a bolt to my brain, if I followed the teachings of Islam I would not be eating this pork pie. What would I be eating instead?. An apple perhaps, no, apples are pointless, I am not quite sure why they were invented nor do I know why I would be eating such a thing in place of a pork pie. This was not my revelation however. My revelation was the second question that crossed my mind. Ignoring the complexities of weighing up the benefits of eating a pork pie over an apple it dawned on me.
Why am I sitting on the floor under this tree. There's a bench over there next to the path. Dogs probably piss on this part of the tree that is supporting my back.