22 August 2012
I could not find my manservant Squirrel. He was nowhere to be found. He was not in my kitchen nor was he in my sock drawer. I summoned my other manservant Parakeet. In hindsight I believe hiring Parakeet as a manservant was not the greatest descision I had ever made. You see, Parakeet was a parrot, a really rubbish parrot. He could not speak and had no hands where as Squirrel was the ideal man servant. He was an agile tree dwelling rodent who happened to have hands and although he could not speak he had conquered the art of sign language. Squirel was great at finding nuts and this was his primary task as my manservant. It was quite fortunate too considering my nut addiction.
Parakeet was this time instructed to find Squirrel as I had an urge for the sweet nut, an urge that Parakeet could not subdue. Parakeet however was not able to carry out this task.
As mentioned he could not speak and did not posses the power of sign language because he did not have hands.
Parakeet, judging by his mannerisms had something to say. He communicated his message through the medium of morris dancing. Parakeet however had to recruit some of his parrot brethren because one parrot morris dancing looks strange.
Basically Parakeet told me that Squirrel had traveled north for the winter and is currently hibernating. His whereabouts unknown.
I'll Murder A Swan. • Opuss № I