Potatoes: The Truth

Clandestine potatoes operated outside of the jurisdiction of F.A.R.M. They didn't play by the rules, they made the rules and then they ignored them. The potato unit were hardcore. They answered to no one except for themselves and even when they did have to answer to themselves they never answered. They were as hard as nails and tougher than boots, leather boots. Leather boots worn by men who had moustaches and had real manly names such as Frank and David. They never had feminine man names like Troy or Jason or William. This potato unit were the best of the best. Some say they were even better than the best of the best. Others disagreed but for reasons unknown to man, they are dead now, dead to the world and dead to potatoes and to everything else, even Jesus couldn't resurrect them. Properly dead.
This unit of manly potato agents were tasked with the ultimate job, the ultimate responsibility. They were tasked with making sure they and their kind were only ever used for the purposes of good. They were tasked to ensure that their brethren only ever ended up in Russian grade vodka and places where they serve potatoes as food. That my amigos is why you never ever see potatoes used as weapons anywhere in the world. The potato unit never loose.