Officer: DCI Spanx and Sergeant Spandex
Report no: 12309
Date: 12/11/2012
Time: 21.22 hours
Suspect: Nicky Knickers
Crime: Committing an offensive act against clothing
Witnesses Tabitha Thong and Corinne Crotchless stated that the suspect had walked into a crowded public house knowingly committing the crime of VPL....according to the Clothing Criminal Law Act section 101....
'No person or persons should ever be seen in clothing that displays the offensive and criminal act of VPL'.
On attending the scene of the crime, myself and Sergeant Spandex could clearly see the suspect wearing black leggings with VPL.
'Visible Panty Line' also known as 'Vulgar Protruding Lingerie'...is highly offensive and is against all known clothing laws.
Suspect is guilty and formally charged.
Recommended Sentence: 12 weeks custodial sentence in a Faux Pas Correctional Facility, after the term has been served, it is with recommendation that the suspect be tagged with a knicker tag, that will sound an alarm should it come into contact with leggings of any kind.
©Kim Brown 12th November 2012
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