18 June 2012
"That's nice."
I stared at the tiny scratch I'd made on my left wrist.
"Again," the voice of my depressed side urged. "Again."
Scratch.
"Again."
Scratch.
"Paul," I typed. "I'm not cutting. I'm just doing light scratching."
"UM
DON'T
STOP THAT RIGHT NOW
STOP!"
"Don't worry
It's okay
You won't even see them
They're so small"
"SHJIFFJIDDJKDSEUJVG"
I continued scratching. It was just a harmless, simple exercise to relieve some of my pain.
That's when Paul started telling people.
He put into an iMessage group conversation with two other friends,
"Emily is on the verge of cutting herself"
I kept scratching a little bit more before reassuring my two friends that I was fine. They believed me.
Paul was livid.
You can tell he is livid because when he is, he starts swearing like crazy.
(censored version)
"ARE YOU ALL FREAKING CRAZY
EMILYS ABOUT TO FREAKING CUT HERSELF
SHE'S FREAKING SCRATCHING HER WRISTS RIGHT NOW
YOURE ALL FREAKING IDIOTS"
I started scratching harder.
It relieved my pain so much.
"it's only small scratches
it's okay
hush Paul
it's okay
they'll be gone tomorrow
don't worry."
And here comes the moment that destroyed everything...
The Broken Promise. (P3) • Opuss № I