20 July 2012
How to survive a horror movie: -Don't walk around saying "hello?" like the killer is going to reply "yah I'm in the kitchen want a sandwich? -If someone says, "oh yah thats where mr Hankins was murdered" its time to move houses -If your friend gets bitten by a zombie and says "maybe I won't turn into one" kill them. Better safe than sorry -Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don't go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don't drop it. Car? Won't start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die. -if something licks your hand in the darkness, it's not your dog. Your dog is dead. -Stay away from places like Amityville, Haddonfield, Camp Crystal Lake, Elm Street... -If you open the door and there is a man holding a axe, he didn't come to chop wood -Never go to the toilet alone -If you see a clown, RUN. That clown isn't hanging around to make you balloon animals -Leave slow friends behind. Someones gotta live to tell the story -Scooby Doo lied to you. Don't split up and look for clues -Make sure you can run faster than someone in your group -Dora lied too.Don't go and explore! -Listen to the advice of all the people in the movie theater who are yelling at the screen -if your a girl, get a boyfriend. He'll be horribly murdered in front of you, but at least you lived -If you and your friends are running from the killer, trip your friends. You can always make new friends, but there's only one of you -If you are a babysitter and the phone rings, just go home and let the kids fend for themselves -If a girl with long hair starts coming out of the tv click the OFF button (The Ring) -Never say I'll be right back, because you won't be back -Don't hide under the bed. They always look there idiots -Stay out of the library because it's one of the worst places to hide. The killer will be behind the bookcase -No matter how fast you run, the killer is always behind you, even if their moving in a slower and more dramatic pace -Don't just go into a random house in the woods *idiots* -If your a cheerleader, you always die first
Credit to scaryforkids -
Survival Guide • Opuss № I