Visions I Live In

Day after day, I pray, these visions in my head will go away.
Not to mention I don't have a say, in which way these horrific events, tend to sway.
I look back on it like it was yesterday.
The way it makes every bone ache.
I watch the school bus crashing into the lake, watch the little girl fall through the ice, dancing in snow flakes, thinking all would be well and nice. I wait for my vision to suffice.
Living it, watching these visions, feeling every minute... Fate has its own plans, death has its watch, with hourglasses and sand, it always comes as a shock...
Should I interfere I wonder?
Or will you just pull me under?
Now I've been warned, death has told me to "step back or be mourned."
The edgy voice scraped at the back on my mind and forewarned,
"If there's anyone to mourn you."
This will leave you hopeless and crazy too. This is what death does to you.
Scared and frightened. Just hold me tight and show me the way to the light.
I'm still in the corner, poisonsed and crazed by this bite. Sitting in the dark, hands clutching my heart, sitting alone in the dark in my mind, make these visions stop, before I let myself rot, cut out my eyes, in my only attempt to be blind. Suicide will just be another fight. Death wants me here, to live in anguishing unknowing fear.