3 August 2012
I had promised there would be no more talk about 'the boy'. I clearly didn't listen to myself. But Opuss allows me to ramble about stupid shit. Case in point.
The boy returns for my birthday in October (and yes if he didn't care why come back?!) but I refuse to believe he'll be here until I see him here.
700 miles apart. If he's worth it, I'll wait right for the day he's back in the city. He is worth waiting for, but I'm not strong enough. Does that make sense? I cannot handle the distance, the lack of physical contact and not seeing him. FaceTime is not enough.
He has his own demons to face and I think they could win. And if they don't, then it's me who's hurt in the end. I can't wait around for him to get his life together on his terms. Is that selfish? Yes. But I love him. I-love-him. And if I can't be with him, then I need to let go.
"I wish I could quit you..."
Seeking Clarity • Opuss № I