Daddy's Gone 7.1

she can go fuck herself. I walk out of the door and quickly go downstairs, I take off my coat and throw it on the sofa, even though it’s cold outside I’d rather feel it than ignore it right now.
I spark up a cigarette on the doorstep before climbing back into my car. The car has retained its warmth from the journey home and starts without a complaint. I quickly turn in the driveway and speed out sending a shower of stones through the air behind me. Out on the road I begin to calm down, I hold the steering wheel lightly in my right hand and make manoeuvres in slow fluid motions which make me feel like I’m cutting through calm waters rather than passing over tarmac. In my mind I’m making the mental toss-up between driving into town and seeing Julian, making a stop off at The Bar, or just driving around aimlessly until sunrise. I put on Beethoven’s ninth symphony in D minor, there’s only a certain mood for me to be in when I enjoy this music but right now it’s fitting, it’s masculine and powerful which helps put Ali’s tirade to the back of my mind.
The streets are empty and in twenty minutes I only pass two other cars, it’s late though and a frost is setting in, across a field I see the flashing light of a grit truck covering the back roads for the coming morning. Driving through a grandiose housing estate the moon winks at me through the passing fir trees. I pull into a little car park and cut the engine, leaving the battery on so as not to cut off Beethoven when the orchestra is reaching its pinnacle. Enjoying another cigarette in the meantime I sit with the window fully down, the smoke curling out from my mouth like waves on a beach, letting the cold sweep into the car. By the end of my cigarette the second movement is also coming to an end so I switch it off and get out of the car to walk over to the nearby building. I press the buzzer for apartment G1 and after a minute I hear the door buzz open without anyone coming onto the intercom. I step inside and the door’s already ajar so I push it open and walk inside. The familiar blue-ish light emanating from the television, the warm darkness and to my right as I step into the lounge there she is, laid down on the sofa watching the set she doesn’t even look up at me. All she has on is a pair of small cotton shorts and an oversized grey hooded jumper, I slip off my shoes and lay down behind her draping one arm over the curve of her body and using the other to prop my head up. She shuffles her body around to meet my eyes and smiles at me, not a particularly happy smile which shows her teeth but just a movement of her lips which seems to apologise and say she’s happy to see me at the same time. I give her the same smile back.