There are days I find it really difficult to be a mom. My son wasn't horrible, but I started thinking about my life before him. I miss the friends I had before, I feel like I abandoned them. Many were younger than me, not married and no kids. We would spend the days out on the farm while my husband, who worked nights, slept at home. We drank, rode horses all day, talked about whatever. I sold my horse when my son came, I had to, I had no time and the time I did have I either cleaned or slept. It wasn't fair to keep him when I couldn't ride him or spend time with him. Now what do I do with my old life? Sell it like my horse? I miss who I used to be, but I would never give up what I have now. I hope my friends can be patient with me, and I hope I can work harder to fit them into my new life. I love my family and friends, there just isn't enough hours in a day, and I'm in bed by 10, so a night life is not optional. I need to work harder at my relationships, and I'm looking forward to it. Relationships aren't easy, but that's what makes you grow as a person.