27 April 2012
DOG: you bought dog shampoo?
Yes
DOG: what for?
Because you smell like a gorilla's dick.
DOG: THAT'S MY SMELL
What are you doing in the bathroom?
DOG: I was running a bath and had the AWESOMEST IDEA EVER
I thought I told you not to touch the taps.
DOG: imagine a car wash...
DOG: but for your house
DOG: HOUSE WASH
Does house wash look like FLOODING?
DOG: OMFG IT TOTALLY DOES
Texts From My Dog 38 • Opuss № I