So we part ways, you cranky and I tired, after a discussion about life that turns sour. I guess these kind of conversations remind you how we have nothing in common and we are just waiting for that moment when we realize we can't make this work anyway. Life, in your perspective, is all mapped out and ready to roll. I have no say about it (aside from, 'yes, dear. It's a wonderful idea.') and I suppose all my vague train of thoughts is unwelcome in your meticulous plans.
Today's conversation is about children. I don't want children. I am not appealed to the idea of stopping my life, which, by the way, I am never sure that it has ever really started, for someone who will probably hate me. I also cannot see any rational reason why you should have kids. Procreation? There are enough humans to damage the earth inside out. Someone to take care of you when you're old? Now, you said I was selfish for not wanting to have kids, but I suppose giving birth to someone and force him to take care of you for decades is not selfish.
I am not completely against children though. Some of my best days happened as I took care of kids. I also want to know how it feels like to have a five years old jumping on my bed, forching me to wake up early on Sundays so we can go somewhere. I want to have that feeling that I exist to protect spmeone, Maybe that's why I don't really want to have kids. Because the world is cold and cruel, and I don't want to expose my child to evil things.
I almost had a child with an ex boyfriend. I used to wonder if I did the right thing, until I realize that if we did, that child will have to listen to all our fights (since he's a womanizing bastard), he'll see me with bruises (since he beats me), and maybe we'll get to spend christmas together with his other kids (since fucking makes babies, and well, it kinda happened). Fun, eh? This could happen with my future husband, no matter how kind he is in the beginning. I just don't think happiness will happen me, and am I selfish for not wanting my childnto go through shit?
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