Marriage

Today I had the heartbreaking phone call from one of my beat friends telling me that her mum had been having an affair and that she was leaving her dad.

This one instance alone is bad enough, but last year I was met by another of my friends at work, crying as her dad had just walked out on her mum and four years ago I had to watch my friend have a complete mental breakdown as her parents split up, although her dad left her mum for a man, honestly, couldn't make it up if I tired.

Anyway this got my thinking, out of my 6 closest girl friends my parents are the only two that are still together, after nearly thirty one years of marriage may I add.
I know society has changed, but now a days it seems more people get divorced then they do married. And why?

I often speak to people about this and a large part of the problem is people think its easy. They think all you need is to be in love and it will just work.

News flash!!

It's not as simple as that. Marriage is fucking hard work, I've seen my parents not speak for two weeks because of a fight but then suddenly there all loved up again. Marriage is a constant battle. There will be days you can't breathe your so in love and days you want to walk out because your so fed up. You have to work through the hard times, knowing that eventually you should see good.

People don't communicate, with today era of social media you just send a tweet saying how annoyed you are and Volia you will have a
million people telling you how useless your spouse is which is hurtful to them and to your relationship as of it happens enough, you will start to believe it. So instead of speaking to your parent and saying how something hurts or annoys you you tell the rest of the world and the problem is never fully resolved. Also social media has made temptation all that much easier. Privacy settings on Facebook and direct messages on twitter mean you can hide things from your spouse and before you know it, it's not as innocent as a conversation with a stranger anymore. (again I've seen this happen)

People also rush into it, I have friends who have know there partner a few months before they have proposed. Your relationship in the first year is amazing as your in the honeymoon period and everything is all sunshine and flowers but it wears off and your left with the reality of wet towels on the bed (my biggest pet hate) washing there underwear and having to clean the toilet after they have had a curry and a few too many beers with the boys. That right there is what it takes! Seeing them at there worst, almost hating them but yet wanting to work at it and see it through.

When ever people find out I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years they all have the same response "and your not engaged?" No, and I'm happy I'm not. I want to know that when I get married it's for life and so I need to be young and reckless a little, enjoy being me before I become an us.

If my parents can do it, no reason I can't.