12 June 2012
My parents are commis, they were quite the rebel in their time..
I've been a chubby hippie, a skinny goth, an emaciated ghost. I never empathized them both. I was sad; hearing the torture and the sexual abuse dad received in jail from cops, I've read The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx.
That was all, that wasn't the thing for me I know.
I thought myself a lesbian, was ashamed of it, didn't know I'd wish I was, later on.
It wasn't that however, I was a specie I didn't know of ever.
Picture a little girl, just seven. She makes a scene when her kindergarten sweetheart holds her hand.. His hand on top.
Eleven, comes home crying when her teacher explains in a lesson; '..the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina and pushes upon, that's how babies' happen'
Fourteen, founds herself rubbing against various juts all of a sudden. Wonders why she should stay still while 'babies happen' Mom catches her, her hand under her pajamas' soft cotton. She says she'll spoil the 'wall of protection' She doesn't understand and asks what would happen.. The answer of blood and pain makes her shudder. When she's alone; the pain and the bleeding is done and over.
19, she knows now; she's the one that matters. No one can hurt her ever again; she's the master of the pain you're inflicted upon.
'Call Me A Failure, Pretender, Sex Offender, Infector..' • Opuss № I