8 November 2012
One day, maybe it was Tuesday or Friday...whatever Jimmothy was a moose and didn't really give a shit...the moose named Jimmothy went to market. Wednesday it was definitely Wednesday...but again Wednesday isn't really a concept mooses like Jimmothy (that is to say; mooses possessed with a high degree of goodlookingness) understand. So ANYWAY moose, market, Wednesday. Jimmothy was on a mission you see! A mission to find a gift for the largest human he knew. It was for some human special occasion he didn't really understand...something about exiting vaginas...or celebrating time? But that didn't really make no never-mind because he was relatively sure there would be booze and bootay which were most assuredly his favourite b's...barnacle was also one of his 'b top ten' but frankly that's not hugely relevant to the matter at hand.
SO he needed a gift, one that matched the magicalness of the occasion, one that lit up the room with fifty shades of epic, a present that would forever raise the bar of present-giving and also didn't cost more than two fiddy because mooses don't have day jobs.
Finally after much searching he located the perfect gift. The price was high but for forty days and forty nights he haggled mighty...verily from high to low he haggled that bitch down. I say 'haggled,' remember Jimmothy is a moose so really he just moose moo'd at the dude until he got annoyed and started throwing things...
ANYWAY FINALLY the gift was his!!! After a short victory dance which had the unfortunate side effect of seducing all lamp posts within a three mile radius, he reached down to claim the fabled gift...but NO!!! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!! Mooses don't have hands.
THE END
Happy birthday fatty I lav joo.
Jimmothy Goes To Market • Opuss № I