Shit Birthday

My birthday was awful in three days time it would of been a full month away it is still not enough time to forget. All of my friends forgot about my birthday didn't get one present from them, but that's normal. My grandad, that pig, neglects me he favours my sister and my brother over me always giving me less just because I was the first born, I truly confirmed the bond of my mum and dad, which was not what he wanted. Makes me upset. People I didn't really know made me happier than my friends and my family put together. Of course like every other birthday I cried.
River's of tears floated down my face and all my mum cared for was my sister. I feel as if I am some sort of burden, a curse.
What have I ever done to you to deserve this?
Is what floats around my mind day after day after day. If I go round saying sorry to everyone would it make them like me more? Or would that just make them think what are you doing crazy girl?
Everything I seem to do makes someone unhappy even if I'm trying to make them happy, I can't see what is wrong with me.

Now I'm starting to think, is this it do I end it here? I'm certain everyone would be happier without me, it seems like the best thing to do!
I hold a knife looking at it closely prodding the point with my finger.

Should I? Should I not?

If nothing good can come from my birthday, and every other day is no different why am I here? Why should I try?

I'm just that crazy girl that could of been someone, but wasn't good enough.