Paralyzed (part 4)

Chapter 4
True Pain

I roll out of the living room, and into my bedroom. I shut the door and lock it. I then take a chair, and wedge it underneath the door knob for good measure. I roll over to my desk, and cry. My head tucked into my arms, trying to block the rest of the world out. But it doesn't work. I hear Mrs. Green screaming at her mother. I hear the doorknob jiggle. "Claire, let me in." I hear Mr. Green say. "Claire, let me in." he repeats again. But I don't pay him any mind, and he eventually walks off. "Claire," I hear Chandler's voice call out softly, "can I come in? It won't help unless you talk about it." I lift my head up. "Just go away. I'll be fine." I say choking on tears. "No, no you won't, and you know that just as well as I do." he says. His voice is so comforting that I do let him in, but immediately lock the door after he's in. I trust him, not the rest of them. He wraps me in his arms, and I feel safe. Now I know, despite our blood, he is my brother. After I regain my sanity, he releases me. " You ready to go face the world again tiger?" he says smiling. His remark actually forces a smile on my lips. " Ready as I'll ever be." I say not as prepared as I'm making myself seem. He wipes the tears from my cheeks, and guides me back to the living room. When I get back to the living room everyone is silent. The grandma stands up when I enter. She runs over to me, and apologizes sincerely. I forgive her "How were you supposed to know I was a limp legged freak?" I say. The room becomes silent again. "I would like to start over." says the grandma. I don't really want to give her a second chance, but how will I look if I don't. "Of course we can start over." I say with the most cheerful voice I can conjure up. "My name is Debra Sinclair, and this is my husband Martin Sinclair." she says smiling. The man tips his hat the way you see in the old cowboy movies. This makes me laugh. It's good to know he has a sense of humor. They seem to be in their late sixties. They seem to be kind people. You know it's funny, I thought I'd be the one to make the bad impression. I look around at the Greens. I feel so out of place with them. They all have matching dark brunette hair and dark forest green eyes. While I have golden blonde hair and dark blue eyes. It's clear I am adopted. I matched in my family, and I didn't feel like such an outcast. I sit in my wheelchair listening to the sounds of a reunited family. Suddenly a terrible pain hits me. One more horrid than I have felt before. It seems that just now, the real pain of my family's death has hit me. That the pain I had felt before was just the beginning. Now, the true pain comes full blast with ceasing. The happiness that the Greens have, I will never know again.