Wish you were here.

I told you from the start all i had to offer you was my heart. All i can give to you; is all of my love. I apoligise sincerely that that wasn't enough. I loved you; and I love you. I thank God for every breath you take, and for every beat your heart makes because i know if you didn't breathe, or your heart didn't beat; my one source of happiness would be gone. Isn't it sad how my one source of happiness is also my main source of pain? Isn't it sad how i'm just dying to be him? Isn't it terribly sad that i find it hard to sleep, to dream, to breathe, to speak, to eat without you next to me? Isn't it. Isn't it absolutely antagonizing to look in the mirror and have no recognition of myself, to understand i have become somebody i don't know, somebody i have never experienced or met or even thought up. Day by day nothing has changed, but i find myself shaking in the corner of the room as i vaguely remember the days gone by. The days when i was happy, when i was me. When you were mine. Everything has changed silently, leaving no warning, remark, or explanation. I have nothing without you. I feel your hand in mine every night when i dream, only to have it cruelly pulled away. I feel you next to me, i count your heartbeats and listen to you breathe and wonder how my entire world can fit inside of my arms, and i marvel at the one and only wonder of the world. Then you're gone. You're with him. The last time i held you; is going to be the last time i hold you. I'll never touch your face again. I'll never feel your body on mine or run my fingers through your hair and tell you i love you and those thoughts alone are enough to crush my own soul to the point of mere numbness and devastation. To the point where existence is the most bleak concept i have ever heard of. I am so sorry i let you down, i'm sorry i couldn't be enough. I still live for you. I still live for only you, even though you're not with me today. I miss you, princess. More than you could know. I wish you were here.