50 Followers

@Espekayen

Machine

I asked the personal trainer at the gym what machine I should use to impress the ladies. She looked me up and down and said, "Try the cash machine outside, you fat bastard.".

@daisyannaise12

wise words...

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Mark Twain.

@Poet44

Poem For Emily

I saw this stunning, beautiful face and instantly I knew, That life and love and hope would gently follow through, A beauty to place my arms around, As I sit in awe, I wonder at the fortune that...

@Mysticall

Watching a hobbit high on sugar running down a hill in ill fitting flip flops is almost as much fun as being the hobbit running down the hill :P.

@efflorecence

He's Finally Mine!

He asked to borrow your pen: In your mind- GASP!!!.

@Fibr

Question Marks

Am I the only one who really hates it when people end questions with a full stop..

@meg

Birthdays = Sleep x0

Ok so I'm excited. It's my birthday. I should be sleeping right now, but surprise surprise. I can't. Why. When I need sleep I never get it.

@maeheleneflynmolly

Give someone one a smile today, that might be the only happiness they see all day.