11 June 2012
When I have kids and they're not following my directions .. Me:Do what I say or I'll do to you what I did to your older brother Them:What older brother? Me:Exactly... -- --
I have unlimited texting but nobody texts me. I feel like my cell phone company looks at my bill and just laughs --
Google. You use it everyday, but I bet you can't remember the order of it's colors. --
person: are you athletic? me: i run. person: oh. cool. me: *whispers* a blog. --
Jokes • Opuss № I