4 June 2012
Girl 1: My boyfriend looks best in skinny jeans. Girl 2: My boyfriend looks best in leather jackets. Girl 3: My boyfriend looks best in work out clothes. Me: My boyfriend looks best in 1080p HD. --
Girl: Hey, are you coming tonight? Guy: Uh... we broke up... Girl: Oops! I meant to text Sean, not you. Guy: How did you type that wrong? A for Alex isn't near S for Sean. Girl: I kinda re-named you in my phone as Senor Tinypenis.. --
girl: i'm having vagina surgery today boy: i know girl: i love you boy: i love you too *after surgery her dad is the only person in the room* girl: where is my boyfriend dad: who do you think gave you the vagina girl: what --
Sheldon: I made tea Leanord: I don't want tea Sheldon: I didn't make it for you Sheldon: Its my tea Leanord: Then why are you telling me Sheldon: Its a great conversation starter Leanord: Thats a horrible conversation starter Sheldon: No its not Sheldon: We're conversing Sheldon: Checkmate --
Can you imagine if you went to the doctors, and you had a sore throat, and he asked you what the problem was, and you suddenly turned into Eminem.
“I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT IT REALLY IS, I CAN ONLY TELL YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. AND RIGHT NOW IT FEELS LIKE THERE’S A STEEL KNIFE IN MY WINDPIPE.” --
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Jokes • Opuss № I