Prayer.

Last night I found myself praying.

I only 'visit' god when I want something and I find myself telling him - "I know I only come to see you when I want something, and i know that's wrong, but if you can help me out this time I'll change my ways and pray more often, even when I don't want something for me".

I feel a guilt, an emptiness and a fraudulent silence and I go to sleep thinking of how things could be better in life.

In truth I'm very lucky, I live on a time, with a better standard of living than less 99.993% of the people that ever inhabited this world have endured.

But instead of praying for thanks, I pray for something else, something more, something selfish and completely dependant on me.

Yet for all this selfishness and Insufferable narcism I find I get what I want on many of these occasions.

Is this miracle an act of god? A god that is truly omnipresent?.

When I awoke this morning I came to a realisation that god is not an omnipresent entity - which goes against the core teachings as my upbringing as s catholic - but god is inside all of us, your god is you, your religion your own, and when you pray you ask yourself for permission.