New Girl - Part 20

I stared down at my blotchy scarred skin. The surface was all uneven, sore and a pinky red colour where it had not had time to heal over properly.
Lewis fumbled around looking for something on the desk at the end of the hospital bed, finally picking up a notepad and pen. He scrawled something down quickly before passing it to me.
'from the explosion - burns, will leave nasty scars' it read. I scribbled down a reply, asking about my ears. He explained that I was going in for an operation in the next few days to restore my hearing and I would be good as new. We continued writing notes to one another until I passed one back reading 'why did you leave?'. He looked up at me, eyes filled with sorrow, regret, guilt and sadness.
He wrote a scruffy message really fast, before rising to his feet and strode out of the room. I watched him leave once more and picked up the message. 'I didn't. I'll explain when they've done your op.'
Then I looked across to where my parents and Florence were sat.
I looked away and pulled down the sleeve of my gown, but not without checking to see if any of my self harm scars had been burned over. No, the burns were on the tops of my arms not the inside. I hoped my parents hadn't seen them...

Then my brain began functioning properly and I started to think. Why weren't there police everywhere, asking about the abduction? Where was Sarah? Did they get her out? Is she alive?
I looked back over to my mother who smiled and stood up, she moved across the room and sat in the chair Lewis had been in. She picked up the pen and scrawled a note to me.
'you should have just told us you were going to a party, we would have let you' it said. A party? I looked over to Florence briefly and she looked nervous, she nodded her head slightly, I took that as to play along. I wrote a note back, explaining how I didn't want to worry them. My mum looked at me as her eyes filled with tears and she just sat staring at me. They didn't know what had really happened.

After some time I fell asleep, I wasn't sure when, but I was so overwhelmingly tired that I didn't care. All I wanted to do was sleep, I almost wanted never to wake up again, but I was awoken by a nurse. Surprisingly she spoke to me in sign language, she signed out 'do you know any sign language?' It was funny because I had taught myself sign language when I was 14 and recovering from cutting. I signed back to her that I understood and knew sign language and her face lit up. We had a whole conversation and then she came to telling me that I was going to go for my operation now. She went on to explain the procedure and what would happen, the after effects and side effects and then asked me to sign the consent form. It was scary, but I didn't think I would be able to cope with being deaf. How would I listen to my music? Hear people's lovely voices? Tell my own stories if I was unable to hear myself? I couldn't do any of that. I scribbled my signature down and passed the forms back. She nodded and told me we would be going in about 20 minutes. Finally.

I was wheeled along a million hallways, like a maze that's never ending, before we finally came to the operating theatre. I was pushed in, still in my bed, and the nurse who spoke to me in sign checked that I was okay. She then explained how I was now going to be given anaesthetic so I wasn't awake during the delicate procedure. I was ready. I could feel the anaesthetic having its effect on me quickly, making me feel drowsy. I looked across through the window of the viewing area and saw a few unfamiliar faces, my parents, Florence and Lewis. I locked stares with Lewis until I could no longer keep my eyes open.

I was woken by a loud crashing noise coming from right beside my ear. I sat bolt up right and my eyes flew open and my hands clapped over my ears to protect them. I was greeted by a young male doctor with a beaming smile, he slowly removed my hands from covering my ears and whispered to me.
"we have recovered your hearing, but you will be very sensitive to every slight sound for a while."
Even though he was just whispering his voice sounded loud and clear. I felt like I had a whole new pair of ears.
"will I be able to listen to music?" I whispered, my throat felt funny when I spoke, being as I hadn't used my voice in a while, it came out croaky and dry at first. The young doctor nodded and passed me a glass of water.
"yes you will, you won't be able to have it on very loud for a while until your ears have healed but you'll get there. Now drink." I was relieved. Music kept me alive when I was ready to die. I did as I was told and gulped down the glass of water, then passed the cup back to the doctor. A gentle knock at the door and then it opened slowly.
Florence slipped in, looked at the doctor who took the hint and left, nodding goodbye to me as he clicked the door closed behind him.
"I need to explain a lot to you." Florence spoke quietly, yet it was so loud. "I didn't leave."
"you did. I got Sarah out. I dragged her to the room because she couldn't walk on her broken leg. You weren't there." I managed to choke out.
"okay, just hear me out, please?" her eyes pleaded with me. I sighed, softened a little and nodded.
"Lewis picked me and Jack up, put us over his shoulders and ran. We had no choice."