My Life. Pt1

Ok, ok stay calm Trixi it's only a few people from school, no deal right? Just blend in with the crowd and pretend to be texting Alex. Yeah they won't recognise if you blend in!
"Oi! Trixi!" Shouted Oli, damn it, he had short chestnut hair, olive skin, and a handsome face.
"heh yeah" I said shyly looking down at my black scuffed up converse blushing, Oli was one of those really 'popular' cute people that got all the attention. He was with a group of other people, mostly guys but I could pick out some girls, Maddy, Chloe, Beth, and Millie. Millie was dating Oli so she got quite protective of him if any other girl went close to him, I can see why he would date her, she had short blonde curls, bright blue eyes, perfect pink lips, and a nice figure, most girls envied her including me!
"what you doing?" asked Oli
"waiting for the bus..." I frowned, I thought it was kinda obvious as I was at the bus stop?! But I guess fame isn't everything. Next to Oli was Levi, Harrison, Mitch, Scott, Cameron and Shaka.
"oh yeah right!" joked Oli all his mates laughed at his non-funny joke
"see you around Trixi" said Millie pulling Oli away and strutting down the street towards the shops. Phew I guess it wasn't that bad, but I knew what they were thinking of me, too skinny, not to skinny, ugly, too fake, prick! Slut. All that type of things. I had learnt to handle it as the whole of St Johns secondary thought that about me, expect from Alex, short for Alexandra. She had always been my friend, through thick and thin, always by my side when I went through the hard times.
When I had started St Johns I got bullied a lot and I quickly got depressed, I turned to my parents but they don't care about me. After a whole year of being bullied I finally gave in and started cutting. If you don't know what cutting is, it's when you cut your self on the wrists, it's painful, very, but it helped with my emotions. In year eight people stopped but a few weeks in it started up again. I turned back to the cutting, by now my wrists were scared and bloody but I couldn't forget my past. One of my old friends, Helena, knew about the cutting and told people at school, it spread like wild fire and I knew that it wouldn't help my problems. People told me to die, that no one would miss me, that the world would be better without me. Of course I had thought about suicide before but now it was serious and I wanted to kill myself. One day I went to river, I planned on drowning myself, I walked into the muddy brown water and felt the coldness creep around my body as I got deeper in, I finally felt my head duck under and felt my last breath escape my lungs.

Of course, I'm still alive! People had seen me and called for help. I was unconscious but not dead. Alex was in shock of what happened, now she never leaves my side. I thought that people might respect me a tiny bit more but it was no good change, only worse. Anyway you've heard about my past so let's concentrate on the present!
Urgh not again, more school people? Oh shit! They're my worst bullies, Jessica Mai Green and her mates, Get my phone out and start texting! They were a few feet away and were starting to point and snigger at me,
"hey bitch!" called Jessica. Then my good luck came the bus turned into the bus stop in front of me. I ran on, paid and slumped into one of the back seat running my pale hands through my coffee coloured long, layered hair. My life wasn't great, but it was mine I guess. And I had to live it, even if I didn't exactly enjoy it, I had to smile and live it, even if my forced smile did hide a thousand tears. I liked the bus ride home it was a long one but I could think freely. A load more people climbed on, mostly old people but I didn't mind, but then someone who I really didn't want to be seen by got on. You know Oli's gang? His main friend Levi had just climbed onto the bus, thankfully he was on his own. I looked down the bus and saw that the only seat left was behind me. I felt panic rise into my throat, was this going to be a run off the bus job or just ignore him job?? To late to decide! Levi was walking up the bus towards me, shit shit shit shit!
"hey, mind if I sit there?" Levi asked, I frowned at where he was pointing, sadly he had not chosen the seats I suggested in my mind, but the one next to me.
"Sure." I said glumly shuffling over to the window seat.
"didn't know you got the bus." said Levi
"well you did, you saw me earlier" DUH!
"yeah we'll I thought you were just standing around.
"why would I do that? Don't say waiting for a car to hit me" I snapped, I normally got that stick
"why would I say that?"
"because, you always do!" I frowned resting my head against the cool glass as the bus started to pull away.
"sorry about that. But I have a reputation to hold" he said proudly puffing out his chest, I could help but let out a small giggle, I saw him smile smugly at me smiling as I never smiled much
"what's the reputation? Big headedness?"
"haha very funny" he laughed clapping his hands sarcastically.
"why are you on the bus?" I asked realising that he never came on the bus
"Oli wouldn't give me a lift home" he shrugged, I suddenly noticed that I had no idea where he lived
"where do you live?" I asked
"bit personal!-"
"sorry"
"no worries I was kidding around. I live in Milton Lane"
"really? I've never seen you around" I blurted out. I lived on Milton lane to! How come I'd never seen him before?
"I stay hidden around there. It's full of weirdos"
"thanks a lot" I sighed
"not you though"
"you don't think I'm weird?" I asked in shock
"well yeah. But I don't see why people are so mean to you that's all"
"you've been mean to me before" I said. He fell silent
"sorry" he said quietly and looked down glumly. I looked at him, he had short coal-black hair, brownish-white skin, deep brown eyes, muscular figure and a lovely Australian accent. I didn't know why he was being so nice but I liked knowing the friendly Levi
"it's ok. I'm used to it"
"right, but you tried to ki-" I cut him off by pointing out the window
"my stop! And yours I guess!" I said cheerfully. We walked off the bus chatting.
"see ya later" I smiled
"yeah see you at school" said Levi walking to his house. I ran up the hill to my own house happily, feeling a warm sensation in the pit of my stomach, something I hadn't felt in a very very long time, something that I had feared. Love.