Missing You

This is something to be said once & once only. It doesn't involve any casting up or any attempt at causing guilt. I fell in love with you before you'd even kissed me on our first meeting. I didn't believe this was possible. I didn't mention it because I thought I'd freak you out. When you came out to my house the following night & we had an unbelievable time I was even more convinced. We were a natural couple. Again I didn't pledge love because I knew you had a bad history & I didn't want to put pressure on you. Then you sent me a text that finished ilu xx - I read it god knows how many times before I believed my interpretation of those words - when I finally believed it I literally danced on the spot. I could go on in this vein for a long time S - but I don't want to put you on the spot, make you feel uncomfortable or anything negative. A good friend of mine told me weeks ago that if I care about you I should want you to be as happy and comfortable as possible. That's what I wish for you - only happiness & comfort & a safe & healthy future for you. You're one of the best people I've ever met - you're grounded, smart, broadminded, open, sweet, funny, insecure, modest, so not big headed, leftie & lovely. You've raised a great 19 year old by yourself. I'm proud to count you as a friend. This may seem like a lot of waffle but it's my attempt to say that much as I would have preferred us to remain as a couple I value you as a very good friend & I hope we can continue in that vein. I've intentionally left you in peace for the last week but I just wanted to detail my feelings. I don't understand what changed & I hope someday you'll explain that to me but I'll wait for you to do that in your own time. Be my friend, S - if you feel you can't be more than that then be my friend. We get on too well to not get on.