4 February 2013
I look nothing like her the girl on the Christmas card smiling next to my sister smiling next to my brother that isn't me it is but not the real me I don't know her I don't know what I think I think she's a fake a joke a mistake the golden child the one that's supposed to be alright in the end the one that has friends and a boyfriend and doesn't like girls and is nice to parents she isn't me she isn't me she's smiling but she's trapped in laminated paper thousands of copies of her stacked on a desk ready to send to send to people to people my mom wants my mom wants to impress with a girl who is nothing less than the best she isn't me she's smiling but she's trapped
next thing I know she's in my fire place burning her ashes floating away she's free I'm free she isn't me but I still I still feel free now I don't have to act or pretend to be
I can be this way and it will stay frozen in time
like next years photograph of me of me and my family
perfect prim dandy
postcard • Opuss № I