8 August 2012
August 31st
Did not get shoved into a trash-can today!
Yippee!!!!!!
Here's some more
information on vampires (in case you haven't been doing your research).
We can't go into sunlight or else we burn to ashes, some of us can turn into bats, we can climb walls like spiders, we don't sleep in coffins ( I mean what is this this frickin 17th century?), we have gigantic, gross, yellowed, dagger sharp fangs (but you probably already knew that), we can hide our fangs so humans don't figure out who we are, and we're paler than a raw chicken.
Also we don't wear capes, we don't say stuff like "I vant to suck your blood, bleh,bleh," and we definitely don't sparkle.
I've tried to be a real vampire, you know, do vampireish things.
But it was a total failure every time.
Like the time when I tried to dramatically hang from the ceiling like a bat I ended up falling on my face (the same thing happened when I tried to fly and at many other attempts of me trying to be more like a vampire).
And then the time when I tried to run super fast I ended up running into a tree.
Why can't I do anything right?!?
Oh well.
See you later!
Diary of a wimpy vampire: Facts and info • Opuss № I