28 December 2012
"The start of a friendship"
It had been three weeks since I first met Ramona.
I was amazed by how quickly she caught on.
Now she could describe all kinds of things and even tell a few jokes! Despite that she still remained as quiet and shy as she was when she barely spoke a word of English.
I remember laughing with my so called "friends" and seeing Ramona sitting in a corner all alone, staring out the window. She looked as if she were deep in thought. To this day I still wonder what sort of fantastical things went on in her mind.
"It's so nice of you to teach that Russian girl English!" Julie (one of the many girls I knew) said.
"Oh it's nothing. Every time I see someone in need I just feel like I have to help them," I said smoothly.
"Oh Deric! You're so sweet!!!!!!!!!!" all of the girls cried.
Yeah I know, I'm pretty much a heart throb.
Even though I constantly flirted with dozens of beautiful ladies I was never all that interested in them. I mean they were ok, but they were about as plastic and fake as a Barbie doll (not to mention their heads were probably as empty as one). I found them to be kind of boring anyway.
But let's get back to the subject at hand here, Ramona.
With each day I got to know a little more about her.
"So what was it like back in Russia?" I asked her one day.
"Very cold," She said with a smile.
"What's it like here in America?"
"It's very loud and noisy, but I like it."
"Did you have any friends back home?"
She began to tense up as I asked this.
Idiot! I thought to myself.
Why on earth would I ask such a stupid question?!?! No one wants to talk about the people they've had to leave behind.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It must have been really hard to leave everyone and everything you've ever known and then go to some strange place and have to start all over."
"Oh it's alright. I didn't have many friends back home anyway. I spent most of my time alone as a child," she said as she looked into the distance.
"So did I. My parents spent most of their time obsessing over my older brother while I would go off and try to find something to do to pass the time. Most of my family members don't really pay much attention to me," I said.
Oh my God! What am I saying?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I'm telling the sad story of my crappy life to someone I barely know! What's going on?!?!
I can't explain it, but somehow I feel.......like I can trust her.
"It's awful isn't it?" she said sadly.
"What is?" I asked.
"To be surrounded by people, yet feeling like you're all alone."
I knew exactly what she meant.
Everyday I was surrounded by people, yet I still feel so lonely inside. Yes they all call themselves my friends, but in reality I have no real friends. They're so busy agreeing with me and telling me everything I do is incredible to actually listen to what I'm saying. It's a weird kind of loneliness that no one will ever understand. Yet she got it perfectly.
How could someone I've practically just met know me so well?
"Yeah it really sucks," I said.
She began to look confused again.
"Oh right, you probably haven't heard of that in Russia. Suck is an expression Americans use when something's really bad. Like for example: This food really sucks, commercials really suck, math really sucks, or my life really sucks. You can use it for pretty much anything."
"Thank you for explaining. I understand better," she said gratefully.
By the end of the month Ramona had learned how to describe pretty much anything. I'd learned that Ramona was an only child who lived with her parents in an apartment. She liked reading, writing, drawing, weaving and sunflowers. Why she came to America I did not know (and I didn't think it would be polite to ask anyway).
Today I decided to have her review what she'd learned.
We met in the library Wednesday afternoon as usual. The old ladies didn't mind us being there as long as we were quiet (and she definitely appreciated all the books Ramona checked out afterwards!)
I found her over in the classics section reading "Jane Eyre." Her face was scrunched up in puzzlement as she was desperately trying to make sense of the unfamiliar and totally bizarre letters that were English.
Her face lit up like the sun when she saw me.
"Heylo Derrik!" she said with that weird little half smile of hers.
She wore a long sleeved white turtle neck, a black skirt that went all the way down to her ankles, and the same black boots she wore the day we first met.
"Hey Ramona," I said happily. "Today we're going to go over everything you've learned so far, ok?"
"Ok," she replied.
"So what is your apartment like?" I asked.
"It is small, dark place, but it is nice," she said.
"How many rooms does it have?"
I watched for a second as she counted on her fingers.
"Four," she said as she held four fingers up. "It's nice because I get to have my own room, and it even has heating!"
I wonder what kind of life she must have had in Russia? She must have been really poor.
The littlest things seem to amaze her, like watching someone use a cellphone was like watching someone use some kind of magical device to her.
I can't believe this whole time I was feeling sorry for myself when she didn't even have her own room or heating.
God knows what sort of horrible things she had to go through to get here.
I guess I never realized just how lucky I was.
"What color are the walls of your apartment?" I asked.
"Gray."
"How would you describe that color?"
"It's very lazy and dull. He doesn't do much and tends to lie around all day."
I smiled.
"What are your parents like?"
"My mother has black hair like me, her eyes are different though,I have my father's. He is very tall and has a beard. His hair is dark too, " she said.
"What are they like personality wise?" I asked.
"They are both very nice and hard working. They are very busy and I don't get to spend very much time with them."
"I know how you feel," I said.
"It gets easier."
I highly doubt that. Things just get harder. Like when Eric married the most gorgeous woman on earth and I wasn't even close to having a girlfriend, or when she left without even saying goodbye.
Everyday I act like everything's fine, and like I'm ok, but the truth is, I'm not. I haven't been since she left me.
Why did she have to go? Why Ramona?!?!?!?!
You were my only friend! And you left me on my own!
You knew how much I needed you! You knew how happy you really made me!
WHY DID YOU LEAVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have burst out like that. Things have just been really painful for me lately and I couldn't take it anymore.
I shouldn't take my anger out on the readers.
You might understand a bit better if you've ever lost a friend.
I guess I should get back to how that friendship started.
"So what are your friends like?" I asked.
She had to have made at least one by now.
"I just have one friend," she said.
"Could you describe them?" I asked.
" Yes. He has hazel eyes and brown hair. He is also very tall."
Something about this guy seemed uncomfortably familiar. I wonder if I've met him before?
"Uhh, what's he like, you know, personality wise," I asked.
"He is very popular and is always surrounded by people, but deep down he's very lonely. He often seems to be in a bad mood but is nice. He is a bit lazy, but he tries his best. Most people don't see it, but he is a good person," she said.
This was just getting creepy!
"Who is this guy anyway?" I asked nervously.
"You," she said as she looked directly into my eyes.
How a little girl ruined my life ch.8 • Opuss № I