1 August 2012
August 26th
You might have expected me to start this chapter, or section, or whatever you want to call it of my diary with "Dear diary," but in my opinion that's just plain unmanly. I mean what self-respecting man would say "Dear diary?!?"
Anyway time to introduce you to more of my freak family.
Let's see, where did I leave off?
Oh, yeah! I introduced you to Dimitri and my father.
Now it's time to meet James and Maxwell.
They're more likely to just tease you and be very, VERY annoying than severely injure you or anything.
They're identical twins, but if you ask me they're more like Siamese twins. Seriously, I can't remember a time when they weren't apart.
They have fiery red hair, are a little bit on the short side, and have eyes the color of copper.
Then there's Theo.
He's very tall,has shoulder-length hair the color of dark chocolate, and long, bony fingers.
Sometimes I forget that he's even there, he's that quiet.
I mean I'm not lying when I say this guy makes mimes look like chatter-boxes!
All I ever see him do is write in his journal, or at least that's what I'm assuming it is.
It was made out of rough leather and the pages were yellow with age.
The only time I've ever heard him talk was when I was trying to see what he was writing and he yelled at me to stop breathing down his neck.
That's actually pretty nice considering the stuff my other brothers do to me.
Then there's Adrian who takes great pleasure in shoving me into trash cans. Most of the time it's at school.
I guess seeing me covered in trash isn't enough, he has to make sure the whole school sees it too.
Oh right, psychical description.
He has spikey black hair, is alarmingly tall, and if I had to describe him in two words they would be :HUGE ASSHOLE. Sorry about the language! That's really the only way to describe him though.
And finally (I've been saving the worst for last) the second oldest but definitely not the second nastiest.... Darren!
He scares everyone.
So that's basically whys brothers follow his orders.
The only person they're more afraid of than Darren is father.
If I had to describe Darren in two words they'd be: pure evil.
He'll do it all. He doesn't really tease you, I'd need a much more hardcore word for what he does. He has shoved me into a trash can before but he's more likely to make you look like you were stuffed in a meat grinder.
I know what you're thinking, I hate Darren as much as you do. I mean seriously who doesn't hate jerks like him?!?
So now you know all about my messed up family.
Oh wait! I forgot to give a description of me!
Let's see, I'm not very tall but not on the shrimp side either, I have straw-berry blonde hair, brown eyes, and yes I have braces. I remember the first few days after I got them. Not fun. I couldn't talk because I had all these cotton balls in my mouth, my brothers kept making fun of me, and my teeth really hurt!
My father and brothers made me get them since I have crooked teeth.
I'm pathetic aren't I? A wimpy vampire with braces. Doesn't get more lame than that.
I'm really sorry if I've been pretty depressing the whole time. But don't be sad. Things will get better for me.
I mean they can't get worse right?
Anyway, I guess this is pretty random but I've always wanted to write a comic book series. I'm not quite sure what it would be about though.
I really love comics! (including manga).
I guess I should be going.
See you later! :)
The diary of a wimpy vampire: meet my freak family • Opuss № I