21 October 2012
Chapter 41:
It had been just under a month and my decision was one I felt proud of making. My hotel room now felt like home, and with my substantial wages, the cost wasn't a problem at all. Law wasn't an easy task, but one which kept me busy and made me feel my studies at university were put to use. I loved the New York atmosphere and the heaviness of the cases, worth each and every fight. I could feel myself becoming successful within a very short space of time, and my only worries lay in the shop.
My mother and father weren't exactly pleased that I had left them in control of something that was my responsibility, but I knew they were proud of me for achieving something that made my education worth while. Besides, this experience was something I couldn't turn down, and in a couple of months could become a permanent thing.
I was still uncertain what to do with The Wedding Shop; I didn't feel the same about it as I did all those months ago, whether that was due to the bad memories it held or if my love for law was stronger wasn't clear in my mind.
I missed Jasmine terribly. She had already moved to Denver, and when I tried to call her it was too late. If I was here, it would be a lot easier to visit her, but I didn't know if I was ready for that just yet.
More than this, I felt unbelievably empty without Matt. Although I would often put him out of my mind, I still couldn't stop thinking about him. What's worse is that I hadn't heard from or about him since the last time we saw each other. I often wondered if he thought of me too, if he missed me just as much as I missed him.
The seasons had changed so quickly, and with Christmas drawing near, it automatically felt much colder. Each night I would put on my warmest pyjamas, often accompanied by a small cup of coffee and gaze out onto the city's skyline. It was always busy and bright lights lit each corner. I loved it. I would lose track of time just by staring at the night sky, that always showed off its hundreds of stars.
I spent every day trying to make my decision, and finally it came one November night. I was planning on coming home just before Christmas, but I couldn't wait that long to tell my parents. I decided to call my dad for a change; although we spoke, it wasn't as regular as it was with my mother and it was time we had a proper chat.
"Hello? Dad?" I asked tentatively. "Hello sweetie, how are you?" He replied, lovingly. "I'm fine, missing you." "Yes, we miss you too." "Listen, how's the shop? Busier than usual?" I asked. "Terribly, everyone is coming in before Christmas you see, trying to get everything done. It's a good thing your mother and I have time to check up on it all, we're warn out!" "I'm sorry dad." I said, heartlessly. "Sophia, of course we're proud of you, it's just that, we can't go on like this for much longer." "I know. Well, I don't. I don't know what to do, dad." I held back my tears that were coming through rapidly. "I can't make a decision for you, Soph. Just listen to your heart. Clearly you're good at your job, otherwise you wouldn't have stayed in New York for so long, but you've got a whole other life waiting for you back home. We need you here." "I want to come home too daddy. New York is amazing, but I know deep down that I can't stay away from you all for too long, I love you too much. Sarah was telling me that I can carry on doing this in the Manchester branch; I know it's not home, but it's as close as I'll get." "But what about your shop Sophia! Luckily we've been able to maintain the bills but it won't last forever." I paused not knowing what to say. "Look, I love law, and I'm not ready to throw it away. Maybe I'll just live in the shop and then we've got the best of both world's. I know you'd rather I was a successful lawyer than putting women in wedding dresses." I blurted out. "That's not true. I'd rather you were happy." "I am happy. I've made my decision daddy. The Wedding Shop has to close down, it just has to." Was this the right decision? I don't know. But every time I thought of that shop, I just imagined Matt and everything he did for me, and that just filled me with guilt.
by vera©
The Wedding Shop • Opuss № I